Six Years!

(I started writing this in February...and finished it today...! )
I just re-read my last update, and I had said I would update again soon. *sigh*  I had good intentions of doing so! Oh well, here is an update:
Feb. 6th marked 6 years since the day my tumor was found during a colonoscopy.  I remember that day so well, and all the emotions that went with it. (Go back to the beginning of my blog, if you want to read more about those first few weeks, here.).  Exactly 2 weeks later, on 2/20, I had a Low Anterior Resection (LAR) and had about 18" of my colon and rectum removed. My first surgery, and it was a doozy! Then, as some of you may know, not long after I finished chemo in Jan. of 2010, I found out I had breast cancer, and had to go through surgery,chemo, and radiation all over again. (Start reading about my journey with breast cancer here.) While I occasionally stop to think about all that happened, starting 6 years ago, mostly I am just so happy to be here, cancer-free and living life!

I am happy to say (albeit awkwardly) that I had a final fistula surgery in Nov., and it was repaired and the area healed nicely!  It was totally unexpected.  My surgeon scheduled a surgery for me with her and her partner, who has an ultrasound machine he can use in surgery (I had to have it done at "his" hospital, and my surgeon had to get guest privileges). With the help of the ultrasound they were able to see that it was fixable, and wouldn't make my situation worse if they cut it open.  It did heal slowly, but my surgeon was very happy with the results! And so am I! I had 3 surgeries on that area in 2014, and hopefully I won't have ANY surgeries this year--wouldn't that be wonderful?!

Well, it's now June, and I am happy to say things are still going well. I have more good days than bad, as far as the digestive system goes, and that makes this girl happy!  I had a bad couple of days earlier this week, and was so thankful it is summer time and I didn't have to take a day off work.  Sometimes my system just start moving and doesn't stop!  And that causes a lot of pain too!  Did I eat to many cooked carrots? Was it that small piece of watermelon I had?  The sandwiches I had with 12 grain bread (I'm putting my money on this one), or just my system deciding it wanted to kick things into high gear??   It's really hard to tell.  But, things have done a 180, and I am better.  Got my energy back too (for some reason I get really tired on those bad days--might be psychological from the frustration).
Just as an example of the PTSD that can creep up when least expected, I share something that happened to me today (although VERY minor compared to what some people experience!).  I was going through and old file (6 years old!) of medical receipts and paperwork for an FSA we used to have during my chemo and radiation days.  I started reading the names of some of the prescriptions, and my hands started shaking! Strong antibiotics for C-diff, something for the bladder irritation caused by rads, ambien, percocet, ativan, lots of anti-nausea meds, lovenox syringes, neupogen syringes, etc.  Some I had to look up because I couldn't remember what they were for! I shredded them quickly, but I still felt shaky and nauseated (oh how I remember the pain of rads, and how much I hated giving myself all those shots!).  Most days it's hard to believe all that happened to me, but sometimes it's all too real and seems like yesterday.  Thankfully, if I remember to pray, God calms me down.
You should know by now that I try to let people know some of the things survivors go through.  Because of the great things that have been done in the field of medicine, more and more people are surviving cancer.  But along with that survivorship, comes many late side effects caused by chemo, radiation, and surgery.  Some don't pop up until 15-20 years later. I want everyone to be aware that your family member/close friend/co-worker/whatever that is now cancer free STILL has problems from that cancer.  They can not just move on, get-over it, and act like nothing happened to them.  Please be kind and helpful to survivors.  They still have pain, extreme fatigue, physical limitations, more surgeries to fix problems, etc.  NEVER TELL THEM they need to get back to work, quit faking it, that they are fine now. My heart hurts for the people that are still battling the beast that have heard these things from family members.  Makes me want to slap someone! *steps off soapbox*
In other news, I am enjoying my summer break, getting to spend more time with grandkids, and also taking time to clean and organize a bit.  (Something I'll never be done with!)  Our family continues to grow--Rachel and Ken are in the process of adopting their adorable little girl that they've had as a foster child for the past year, Shonna graduated from college in Dec. and recently started her first  "adult job", and Alyssa and Jaren are doing a wonderful job raising their beautiful daughter. In July we will spend time together as a family in Duluth again, and we all can't wait!  Rich and I will get a few days to ourselves first on the North Shore, then meet everyone in Duluth for a few days.  It's my favorite place, with my favorite man! God continues to bless us, and we are so grateful for all that we have!
God bless!
Tina

Oct. 2014: Summer's Gone; Fall is Here!

I've been thinking of writing this blog post since the end of August!  I realize I've lost most of my readers by now, but I would still like to share the "after cancer" life.  Many who stop by here have cancer, and I feel it might be helpful for them to know what life might be like after treatment is over. Also, it's important to me to let others, who haven't experienced cancer, know what life can be like.
How many of you thought that if you get cancer, and it hasn't spread, that you go through some treatments that make you sick and lose your hair, and then when you are finished you go on your merry way--never to think about cancer again? Show of hands?? Mine is raised too!  I think I probably realized that life might be a little different for a survivor--you know, they stop and smell the roses more, that type of thing.  Let me share a bit with you what life is really like.
FOLFOX is the standard chemo regimen for colorectal cancer.  It does a great job of killing cancer cells.  It also kills good things--like nerves, hair follicles, toenails, the skin on the hands and feet, etc.  I've heard of people losing their hearing and having heart attacks from it.  If you've ever had FOLFOX, you will probably have some sort of after effects from it.  4.5 years after finishing, I still have burning, numbness, and tingling in my hands and feet.  I also had AC+T chemo for breast cancer.  I completely lost my hair (which is still thinner now than before), and the Taxol made my neuropathy worse.  It's another nasty combo that can also cause heart trouble.
Then there is the colon surgery.  If you are fortunate enough to have a tumor that is high in the colon, you may not have as many issues as a person with a low tumor.  But it is still a major surgery, and your colon will work differently, and there is always the risk of strictures and blockages caused by scar tissue. People with low tumors (like mine) have all sorts of changes in their bowels.  Some days they can hardly leave the bathroom, and then, without warning they can be constipated for for several days. Some can't work because the issues are so bad.  Some who had a temporary stoma, that was reversed and their colon was reconnected, have asked to go back to a bag because having to constantly "go" is ruining their life.  Breast cancer surgery can cause "frozen shoulder" which can last for years, and some people never regain full use of their arm/s.  Some surgeries move muscle around and then those people need physical therapy, and, again, they may never be able to get back to where they were before surgery.  If lymph nodes are removed that person will always be at risk for lymphedema--which is swelling in the arm.  They may need special massages, phys. therapy, and wear special sleeves.  Once it starts, it never goes away. Oh, and it's usually not just one surgery for breast cancer, but many, over the course of many years. Did you expect your co-worker who had breast surgery to come back to work and be able to lift and carry and do everything they did before?  Well, they may need to do things differently, and may be gone a lot for therapies and surgeries--be kind to them!  And pray it never happens to you!
Some people who have cancer also have to have radiation.  I had it for both my colorectal cancer, and my breast cancer.  For some, this is the worst of all.  There are lots of internal organs that also get blasted, esp. when the cancer is in the stomach or pelvic area.  There are too many problems that can happen to even list here.  Some are scar tissue build-up, colon and bladder scar tissue and bleeding, skin that never heals or is always easily irritated, weakening of structures that can lead to fistulas, hernias, and ruptures, and on and on.  Other than tightening of the skin on my chest and armpit, I have not had too many side effects of the rads I had for breast cancer.  It most likely caused some scarring on my heart and lungs, but hopefully I will never notice that.  It also increased my risk for skin cancer and lung cancer--it is radiation after all! Both chemo and rads increase risk for cancer in the future.
Ok, those are only some things that can happen to colorectal and breast cancer survivors--there are many other types of cancer, each with their own set of problems. If you read all that, I want to thank you. You are a person who cares about others and wants to be aware of what people with cancer go through.  Expecting your friend, co-worker, or loved one to be back to "normal" after their cancer is gone is not helpful.  Ask them how they are doing, what side effects they still have, what help they may still need. I have a friend that just finished a long and difficult treatment for stage 4 colorectal cancer, and she is getting a break, but no one knows for how long.  Her family has been pressuring her to go back to work, and they don't want to hear about any of her problems--she was even told she was making stuff up while she was still getting chemo!! I can't imagine!  I'm sooooo very thankful for my family.  They know I still have some difficult days, and sometimes I need to miss an event (which when I do I usually end up in tears because I'm sad and frustrated I have to stay home!).  Thankfully, those days are getting fewer.  5.5 years out from my colon resection things are still slowly improving.  I'm STILL learning what I can and can't eat, although sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason to it!  Overall, I am doing better, and even my fatigue is better and I'm not completely exhausted every day after work.  
Today is a "bad tummy" day, which causes me a lot of pain (you know, all those radiated areas!), and I came home from work and took a pain pill. (Which is why I have time to sit and write this--I can't do much else right now!) I hurt so bad that I wasn't going to suffer one more minute! Taking a pain pill is very rare--I took a 1/2 a pill about 2-3 weeks ago, and before that it had been about 6 weeks since I needed one.  I had another surgery on my backside in Aug, and will need another one soon.  Repairing things "back there" is tricky.  One wrong cut could leave me needing diapers or a colostomy (bag) for the rest of my life. Also, radiated skin doesn't heal very well, so I could end up with a gaping wound that takes months and months to heal.  
I had acupuncture this summer for neuropathy, and it helped a bit, but I think I'll save that for another post.  I also need to tell you about my trip to Florida with my "Pearls" (breast cancer sisters!)!  There are some blessings that came out of my cancer journey, and they are a huge blessing to me!
So, that gives me a few reasons to update again soon!  If anyone with cancer comes across this blog, and wants to talk more, my e-mail address is nuttyoaks at gmail dot com.  I have some great resources I can share with you, and am always willing to share my experiences and help you through your treatment!
God bless you all!  Look for another update soon!
Tina

Neglected Blog!

Well now, I've neglected this blog for over 6 months!  Anyone just stopping by for the first time, make sure you check out the tab at the top labeled "My Journey".  That will give you an overview of my 2 cancers and treatments, and also give you links to take you to the beginning of each cancer diagnosis.
I recently had several tests done and met with my oncologist for my 6 month check up.  I've had CT scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis, a brain MRI, lots of labs, a mammogram, and .....I think that's it, although I feel like I'm missing something.  Bottom line---everything looks good!! And yes, I DO have a brain!  ;)
I won't have to have any more CT scans, because I've reached my 5 year anniversary for the colon cancer, which means NO MORE colon cancer!  I will still have a chest MRI for the breast cancer, and see my onc. every 6 months.
My brain MRI was because of some unusual headaches I've been having.  Still don't know what's causing them, but it's not brain cancer (THANK YOU LORD!!!!!).  That is the only test that has really scared me.  I REALLY was afraid that they might find a tumor up there.  I can handle tumors almost anywhere else--just NOT MY BRAIN.
The other thing I've been having issues with is the neuropathy in my feet.  I talked to my primary physician, and she put me on Neurontin (gabepentin).  I only stayed on it 9 days because it made me so groggy. I was supposed to double the dose on day 14, but there was no way I was going to do that.  My onc. wants me to try acupuncture, which surprised me because he's sort of a skeptic about things, but we've both heard many people say they've had improvement with it.  I haven't done it yet...I keep forgetting to call my insurance to see if they cover it.  If that doesn't work, Cymbalta might help. My neuropathy isn't too bad, but the burning feeling on the bottoms of my feet has been getting worse.  It's never terribly painful, just annoying.  It hurts worse when I've been on my feet a lot, or with any extreme temperature.  Too hot or too cold--they both cause that burning feeling.
Stomach/digestive issues are still there, but probably always will be due to the type of  colon resection surgery I had (Low Anterior Resection).  Things are better, but I find the side effects from cancer treatment to be very annoying some days.  I get tired of it and it gets me down sometimes.  I realized a while ago that I am almost always in some kind of pain/discomfort--no wonder I feel blue sometimes!  But don't worry, overall I feel happy and blessed!  Because, hey, I'm alive and cancer free, right??  :)
Well, that's my little update for now.  March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness month, so if you are over 50, and haven't had your colonoscopy, GO GET IT DONE ASAP.  Colorectal cancer can be PREVENTED by getting your screenings done!  If you are younger and have any bowel changes, bleeding, etc. INSIST on getting a colonoscopy.  More and more young people are getting colon and rectal cancer now.  The best way to fight this disease is to catch it early!
Blessings!!
Tina

Past...Present...Future

I recently got an e-mail notification that someone left a comment on my last blog entry...which was in March!  I couldn't believe it had been that long...surely I updated in May or June?  Nope.  So, I'm pretty sure no one will read this, but I thought it was time to do a little update!

Since my last update I've had a DEXA (bone density) scan, MRI, CT scans, labs, and port flushes.  All is well!  My bones show some "pre" osteoporosis, so I need to take calcium (which I keep forgetting to take!).  I'm still eating mostly low-residue, but have the occasional wheat bread, salad, fruits, and veggies.  The trick is to spread them out throughout the week, and not overdo it.  I mostly avoid carrots, cucumbers, and spaghetti sauce, but might have a small amount now and then.
I see my oncologist in 2 days, but not sure what we will talk about since I already have all the results of the tests I did last week!  I'm sure he'll ask about Rich, my grandchildren, and especially my adopted grandson, Charlie. This time I'll have some more family news to share! (More on that later...) I am most interested to find out if I can start going 1 year between scans, and do I really need those labs every 3 months?  I am 4.5 years out from the colon cancer dx, and 3.5 years from the breast cancer dx.  I know my onc. was worried about me, with all that cancer, but I'm doing well now.  And as our insurance covers less and less, we have to pay more and more of the costs of all the tests!
My worst complaint has been fatigue.  I planned to work on that this summer, and talk to my primary care physician (PCP) if things didn't improve.  I think the fatigue has improved a bit.  Last summer, even though I don't work in the summer, I was still tired a lot.  Many days, by mid-afternoon, I was just as tired as if I had worked.  Not good. Then of course during the school year I felt awful.  I worked 4.25 hours, and then came home and could barely function most days.  I was VERY frustrated!  I do know my job is draining, and does sap a lot of my energy (I don't know how anyone lasts for 6.5 hours, much less the teachers who work WAY beyond that!), but I shouldn't feel that bad!  So, this summer, I have been eating a bit better--cutting down on chemicals and processed foods--and exercising more (which I will do when I'm done writing this).  I am eating less, and have lost just a few pounds, but at least I've made the scale go down instead of up for the first time since chemo!  I'm learning what my body can do with and without (my body does NOT like to be hungry).  I started using the 'myfitnesspal' website, which counts calories for you, and helps you figure out how many calories you need each day to lose the amount you want to lose.  It's been helpful for portion control.  So, overall, I feel better.
I start back to work a week from tomorrow!  I REALLY, REALLY hope I feel better this year!  I get done with work at 1:30, which should leave me plenty of time to do other stuff.  Praying I have the energy I need!  As much as I would love to not have to work at all, I do think getting back into a routine is good for me.  I make better use of my time when there is routine.  And I really do like working with the kids!

A little family update:  Rich is doing well at his new job--he's been there about a year and a half.  Pay and benefits are good, and it's just 'normal' work stress, not the stress and low morale of his previous job.  SO BLESSED to be out of that place!  His drive is too long (26 miles one way), and sometimes we worry about lay-offs, but over all it's good.  

Rachel and her husband are doing foster care now, and are in the process of adopting another child! This is a child placed with them soon after they got their license.  He's 2 and has down syndrome also.  He is active, and smart, and lets you know what he thinks about things!  :)  They also have a very sweet little baby girl that we would all love to keep in the family, but it looks like the baby's mom will be able to take her to live with her soon.  Praying God will do what's best for baby, and if she has to go, I hope we'll still be able to see her once in awhile!  Rachel's older 2 boys are doing very well, even with other kids coming and going!  Charlie just turned 6 and will be in kindergarten this year!  He is our super-hero!  Brennan will be 4 soon.  He is as smart as ever, and there is no end to the amusing things he says!  Love those boys!

Alyssa, hubby, and baby girl are doing GREAT.  Selah is 10 months old.  She is really picking up things fast--she always amazes us!  She'll be walking soon, I think.  She is soooo adorable!  We get to watch her often, and she is a smiley, happy little girl!
Our youngest, Shonna, is starting her 2nd year at the U, and she is majoring in journalism.  She has a lot of talent as a writer. She is a junior now, and has 3 semesters left.  She may get a minor also (but I forgot in what! Oops!).  She moved out of my sister's house into an apartment closer to school.  I don't always see her as often as I would like, but we did get to spend some time shopping and antiquing recently, and I enjoyed that!  

We all managed to get to Duluth for a few days this summer. Alyssa, hubby, baby, and Shonna were with us at the beginning, then Shonna's boyfriend joined us, then Alyssa and fam had to leave, and Rachel and her 4 kids joined us the last day!  So we got to spend time with everyone (except Rachel's husband), just not at the same time!  Next year I'm thinking about staying at a resort/lodge/cabin type of place a little farther up, right on Lake Superior. I think it would be better for the kids if we can find a place that has a nice play area and beach.  I'm still thinking about getting away with just my hubby for a night or two up north this fall. We'll see~we might be too busy building a deck!

When I stop to think about where I was this time 4 years ago, I am amazed that I am here, cancer-free, and so blessed.  4 years ago I had just finished radiation, was weak and tired, was being treated for C-diff and giving myself shots for a blood clot, and had endured a very painful summer.  I was healing and gaining my strength back to do 8 more rounds of FOLFOX.  Little did I know the next summer I would be doing another difficult chemo regimen for breast cancer!  That is all behind me now.  These last scans I didn't even have any "scanxiety", except for that brief moment when I saw my oncologist's phone number on my cell phone.  His nurse was calling me to tell me all my tests were good! 

I make a point of remembering what I've been through every now and then, because it helps me to be grateful for every moment I am blessed with. It reminds me of the wonderful ways God showed up for me and helped me through those difficult times.

My future?  It looks fabulous.  Retirement someday with the man I love, doing the things we love and enjoy, being a grandma, and spending time with my children, grandchildren, and foster "grandchildren".  Yep, looks pretty good from here!
Love and blessings!

Tina

PS  Rich and I also went on our first 'real' vacation together in June--we went to Las Vegas!  But that is another story for another day...  ;)

March 2013 Update

Hello there!
It's almost the end of March and we still have LOTS of snow!  Our temps are running about 10 degrees below normal, but at least the sun has been out the last few days, and the snow is slowly melting.  Easter is this coming Sunday already!  We will be having everyone over to our house for a buffet lunch.  My house will be FULL.  May have to come up with a different plan next year, as there just isn't enough room in my house for our growing families!
I have been spending a lot of my online time on some private Facebook groups for those affected by colon cancer.  If you know anyone with ANY type of colon/rectal/anal issue (including crohn's, IBS, colitis, cancer), tell them to search FB for COLONTOWN.  This is the main group, and from there you can join the different 'neighborhoods' that are more specific to your particular issue, including a group for caretakers.  It's all private, so talk about colons, rectums, and bodily functions are the norm there!  It's a blessing for me to FINALLY connect with others who understand what I'm going through.  We all help each other and share ideas on what works and what doesn't.  I've gotten some good advice there for my on-going issues, and things have improved for me.  I'm still hoping to improve things more, but at least my problems are better than they were.
Being in this community makes me aware, once again, of the many, many people with colorectal cancer.  There are those on there that are newly diagnosed, and they will finish chemo and have a good prognosis, like me.  Then there are those that are stage 4, and will be on chemo, off and on, for the rest of their lives. And, lately, there seems to be many (WAY TOO MANY) who are dying from this horrible disease.  Almost daily there are posts that someone passed away. Sometimes this gets into my head a bit, and I start to worry more about a recurrence.  I start to think in terms of when, not if.  Thankfully, God knows those troubling thoughts I am having, and He reminds me to put my focus on HIM.  I don't need to fear ANYTHING.  That is such a freeing thought!  Whether I am sick, healthy, rich, poor, dying--none of it matters.  God has given me eternal life, and He is with me every moment of every day.  Nothing is too big for Him.  What a relief to know He has my back! Whew!
Soon I'll get a break from Dr. appointments and tests (I hope!).  I had to have another minor surgery on my bum, and the worst part was the 9 pokes it took to get my IV started!  Over 2 weeks later I can still see the bruise on the back of my hand!  The surgery went well though, and I had very little pain after.  I had a DEXA bone density scan last week, and hope to get the results of that soon.  That is an easy scan--no IVs or anything!  Chemo can damage/weaken the bones, and so can menopause (which started early for me because of chemo/radiation), so we are just checking to see if my bones are still strong.  I have a post-op appt. this week, then a port flush appt. next week.  Then I really should make an eye dr. appt. and dentist appt.  Sheesh!  It's always something~I've already met my deductible for the year, and it's only March!
Well, that's my March update.  All the kids and grandkids are doing well!  My oldest and her husband will soon be licensed to do foster care, so we are all excited about that.  I hope I have enough energy to help her out! Thankfully summer is only a few months away and I'll be off work for a bit. :)
God bless each one of you!
Tina

Feb. 2013 Visit With Oncologist

Saw my favorite Dr. today!  Dr. J, my oncologist, had a "Fellow' with him, as usual. Dr. J points out to the Fellow all my oddities.  Gee, glad I could be of help!  :)
I brought a little list of questions today. I asked him about supplements.  He doesn't think I need to take separate D, B complex, etc.  He thinks I should just take a good women's multi-vitamin.   The subject of vitamins came up because I told him I was eating a low residue diet to try to slow down my bowels, and make things more "normal".  He was concerned I wasn't getting enough nutrition if I wasn't eating fruits and vegetables.  I have been concerned about that too.  This low residue diet has helped, but not completely changed things as I had hoped, so I think I will start adding back in fruits and veggies (not that I ate that many to begin with!  But I was trying!).  I will stay away from raw carrots (because I know they are a problem), and nuts and seeds.  I think tomato sauce might be a problem too, so I'm going to try to avoid that for awhile.
Dr. J thought it would be a good idea if I took a baby aspirin every day.  He said it helps prevent colon cancer in some people with some certain type of cells.  They don't usually test to see if a person has those cells, but he said the baby aspirin is beneficial for other things too, so I can just go ahead and take it.
I asked him about damage to my bones from all the chemo I had, and that, combined with the fact that I am in menopause (early, thanks to radiation!), is reason to have a bone density test.  So, now I have to schedule one of those.  I've never had one, but I think they are pretty easy.
Other than that, he said my labs all look great.  We talked about my fatigue again--I mentioned I planned on talking to my PCP about it, and Dr. J thought that was a good idea. He did say, again, that with all the chemo and radiation I've had my body took a pretty good hit, so he's not too surprised by my fatigue. I just want it to go away!
Dr. J always asks about my family and grandkids, and especially my adopted grandson.  And he asks about Rich. He's a great oncologist!
When I get my labs done in 3 months I won't need to see him.  I'll see him again in 6 months when I have a ct scan, mri, and labs.
My mammogram is in 2 days, but I won't update about that, unless, of course, there is a problem!
Love and blessings to all!
Tina

Update on Scans and Labs

Hello!
Just wanted to do a quick update about my CT scans and lab tests I had done last Monday.  By Monday evening I already had the results!  Everything looks good!  My hemoglobin is up a little (finally--I've been taking iron pills!).  My platelets are at the low end of the range, and have been since surgery.  Before that they were much higher.  I'm going to ask my oncologist about that when I see him on Tues. I have a list of things in my head that I want to ask him--I really need to write these questions down!
I will have another little surgery on my backside on March 8th.  Not going to do any major surgery on the fistula yet.  My surgeon can't guarantee the outcome, so we will hold off as long as possible.  There is a chance it might close up on it's own, eventually.
I had to miss another day of work due to my 'digestive system'.  The barium stuff I have to drink for the CT scan really messes me up, and I spent most of the evening and into the night in the bathroom.  I wasn't able to go to work the next day either.  I think that's 5 days I've missed this school year related to my cancer treatment/side effects.  Then I missed 4 days due to illness recently too--first a stomach bug, then a cold/chest/cough thing.  I don't usually get those type of viruses, so it was weird to get them one right after another.  I've already used up the 10 days I get per school year!  I'm praying I don't miss any more this year!
It's a relief to have my scans done and over with. I was getting a little nervous this time. I couldn't shake the feeling that 'this might be it'.  On the way to the hospital to get my tests done, as I was driving, I was praying and praying. And I was asking forgiveness for the fear, because I knew I shouldn't be afraid--I should be trusting in God.  Finally, I realized where the fear was coming from and I said out loud  "Satan, you can't touch this! I am a child of the Most High King, and covered by the blood of the Lamb!  I have no cancer in me, and I will trust in God and not be afraid!".  I felt soooo much better after declaring that for the devil to hear.  He fled and I was filled with peace! I was able to be joyful the rest of the day, which I think was nice for those around me in the hospital.  That can be a very stressful place, and I made sure I smiled at everyone!
Oh-- I have to mention my infusion nurses again.  One of my regular nurses is working at a different place (I will miss her and hearing about her lovely children and family!), and the other 'regular' one wasn't there either.  The nurse I had, Carol (Carole?), is one I know though, from being there over the last 4 years, and she had a person with her that was in training.  At the end, when I was ready to go, Carol started asking me about my grandkids, and how I was doing after treatment.  I was only going to tell her a little, to not take up too much of her time, but she kept asking, so I kept talking!  That was so special to me, that she took the time to REALLY ask how I was doing.   Usually when I don't have one of my 'regular' 2 nurses, I am in and out of there pretty quick.  Everyone is very nice and says hi, but I am only there for a port flush or labs.  It just made me feel really good, that she remembered things about my family, and really cared about how I was doing.  Chemo nurses are truly angels!
Well, I see my oncologist Tuesday, and have my mammogram Thurs., then the following week I have a pre-op, and my minor surgery.  Then I think I'll be done for awhile!  *Whew*!
More updates later this week.  Hope everyone feels blessed this week, and feels the love of Jesus surrounding them! Amen!
Tina

Four Years!

February 6th was the 4 year anniversary of my tumor being found during a colonoscopy.  I was having some symptoms that my primary Dr.(pcp) and gastro Dr. both thought were irritable bowel or colitis.  Thankfully, before my pcp looked further into my symptoms, she wanted me to have a colonoscopy, and then we'd know more what we were dealing with.  We were ALL surprised when the tumor was found. The gastro doc doing the procedure saw it right away (I was given some good drugs, but was fully awake) and said "See that? That shouldn't be there".  After the exam the doc came in and told us he was sure it was cancer, although we needed to wait for the pathology report for the 'official' word. I am so grateful Rich was with me!  We just held each other when the Dr. left.  Then he came back, and told me he had set up a CT scan for me that afternoon.  Things moved really fast!  I remember the nurse giving me a hug when she walked us out and telling me I was going to be ok.  That was so sweet, and yet scared me because I didn't really realize the gravity of the situation yet.  Thanks to my 'happy drugs', I wasn't too upset yet--I told Rich in the truck after to stop looking so gloomy!  Poor guy, he just found out his wife had cancer!  I'm sure he was overwhelmed! (I don't think I'll ever know how hard all of this was on him, as he did a good job of keeping it from me.  He was an EXCELLENT caregiver, and I'll always be grateful for that!)
Like I said, things moved quickly.  My CT scan didn't show any other areas of cancer (except a possible lymph node).  My gastro doc also contacted a surgeon, and an appt. to see him was scheduled, then my pre-op, then the surgery on Feb. 20th, just 2 weeks later.  During surgery, 18" of my colon was removed and I was able to be reconnected.  I came close to needing a colostomy, but am thankful I didn't!  It was a tough surgery, and I was in the hospital 8 days.  2 of 20 lymph nodes had cancer, and I was stage 3b.
My wonderful oncologist told me this type of cancer could be CURED.  Because of my young age (44),  I was given everything they could possibly throw at me!  None of my chemos were reduced, even with bad side effects.  Once he even let me get chemo when my counts were really low--the nurse had to go ask him if the orders were correct!  But he knew my counts always bounced back quickly when I had a neupogen shot, so he wasn't worried! I think it made a difference that my onc knew me well enough to know that I really wanted to complete all the treatments.  If I had said it was too hard and I wanted to back off a bit he probably would have, as I think he would have respected my wishes.  Same thing with radiation.  That was even more difficult, and I was told I didn't need to finish, but it was important to me to finish those last 3, and I did!  Although, I have to say, I never realized all the side effects I would have to live with!
Sometimes I have a hard time remembering how awful it all was, and other times I remember too well! I get frustrated dealing with painful side effects, but mostly, I am just so glad to be living life, cancer free.  I am enjoying my children and grandchildren.  My girls are such a blessing to me!  They really stepped up and did everything they could to help me get through those tough days of cancer treatment. I'm sure it was hard to watch their mom get cancer TWICE.  They are amazing young women!
Enough reminiscing...my 6 month CT scans are coming up next Monday, Feb. 18th.  I'll also get my labs done that day too.  Then the following week I see my oncologist and have a mammogram.  This coming Thurs. (the 14th) I'll see my colorectal surgeon about the fistula, and I'm thinking I'll have to have surgery on that soon. That is a side effect from surgery and radiation.  :(   
1 more year and I'll hit that 5 year mark!  I'm going to ask Dr. J about being 'cured'; if that still fits my case or not.  I don't remember if the breast cancer will ever be considered cured--maybe because I was  only stage 2b, I can be cured of that too.  I'm not sure--I hope I remember to ask! April 1st will be 3 years from the breast cancer diagnosis.
Life goes on, and God is good! :)
Love,
Tina

It's a New Year!

Happy New Year!  2013 has arrived!
2012 wasn't so bad; I've heard many people say how glad they are to see it go, but for me it was a pretty good year!  The best part (besides being cancer-free still!) was baby Selah being born in October.  It is such a joy to have another baby around.  She is growing fast now and things are changing quickly!  She's got the cutest smile and dimples too!
When I look back on 2012, it seems like it was a year of settling in, and figuring things out.  It was a year without any cancer treatments (Thank God!), and I have just been trying to figure out what my 'new normal' is, what my body is doing, and what my energy levels are.  
I feel that 2013 is a year in which I need to really make some changes, and I think I'm ready to do that.  
I've been trying to figure out this last month how food affects me, and I've switched to a low residue diet.  I am not eating nuts, seeds, fresh fruits or veggies (except bananas). Only cooked/canned fruits and veggies, and esp. applesauce.  Also, no high fiber breads and cereals, except oatmeal.  This may not be the healthiest diet (we all know fresh fruits/veggies/high fiber is supposed to be the best), but it's what I need to eat because of my overactive digestive system. The problems I was experiencing were really starting to get me depressed.  I missed 2 days of work because of them in Dec.  I think I had been waiting for things to settle down on their own, and then I realized it's been long enough (almost 4 years since my colon resection), and I need to figure this out!  I remembered hearing about a low residue diet somewhere, so I thought I'd start with that.  That has really helped (so far, anyway).  I make sure I eat bananas and applesauce nearly everyday. Those 2 foods help the most.  I started taking Citrucel each morning after breakfast, but I don't think I need to do that everyday.  I've been ok without it.
The next thing to work on is my weight. I really want to lose the weight I've gained back since I've been done with chemo.  I can eat smaller portions (which also helps the digestive system!), and I especially need to exercise.  I am too young to be so out of shape!  Fatigue is a big problem for me,  but I can't let that stop me.  I've started drinking a small cup of coffee or tea every afternoon, and that helps!
Most of all, I've realized that I've just sort of been 'going through the motions' a lot this past year, and I want to live each day more fully.  I'm so blessed to be here, and I don't want to waste whatever time I've been given.  I think I needed this past year, to just 'be' (I don't know how else to explain it!), but now it's time to move on and really live! (If I can find the energy!)
If there are any people that like to pray reading this, please pray that the tiredness goes away, and doesn't keep me from being healthy.  Pray also for me physically, that my body continues to heal from the beating it's taken the last few years.  My oncologist always reminds me that I've been through a lot, and it's taken it's toll on me!  I really appreciate any prayers, and if you leave me a comment or send an e-mail, I will be sure to pray for you also!
As I close, I am sending up a prayer for everyone that stops by to read this.  May God reveal Himself to you more fully, and may the Creator and Giver of all life bless you with health, peace, and true joy in 2013!
Love,
Tina

PS: Some pictures from Christmas!

Scope Day

I had my colonoscopy today and it's all clear!  I'm good for FIVE years!  Woo-hoo!  Last time it was 3 years, and now I've advanced to 5.  I am so glad, because the prep was really rough.  A person who has had 18" of their colon removed responds differently to the prep.  Next time the prep will be modified to avoid all the painful cramping!  I still have some nausea this evening, so have been taking it easy.  Resting a lot, drinking lots of water, and not eating too much yet.
I was able to watch the procedure on the monitor, and I clearly saw the radiated part of my colon.  It's very red looking, and bleeds easily.  I was told this at my last scope too, but this time I saw it more clearly.  It's not inflamed, so that is good.
I'm just so glad it's over with.  It's been a miserable 2 days!  
Guess who needs to get his done this next year?  Yep!  Hubby turns 50 soon!  Anyone else that is reading this that is 50 or over, and has not had their colonoscopy yet, GET IT DONE!  Call your primary physician, and get it set up asap!  And if you have any changes to your bowel habits, or mucus and/or blood, get to your Dr. now and get it checked out!  Colon cancer can be cured if it is found early enough. I waited about 18 months before I told my Dr. about my problems. I had some other medical problems I wanted to take care of first.  I sure wish I hadn't waited.  I still would've had cancer, but I may have been able to skip the radiation--boy wouldn't that be nice if I didn't have to deal with those side effects!
Love and Blessings!
Tina

Another Update

Well, don't know if anyone is out there reading this any more, but thought it was time for an update.  I've written blog posts in my head many times, but for some reason I just haven't taken the time to actually write it here!
As always, I'll start with a health update.  I saw both my colorectal surgeon (Dr.T) and my oncologist (Dr. J) a few weeks ago. The fistula has been bleeding more, and apparently something came loose, and Dr.T fixed it.  I found out she does colonoscopies (I had been going to a gastro doc for my previous scopes) and told her I'd like to see her for my next one, which is due in March.  Because there has been some bleeding, Dr. T. said insurance wouldn't have a problem with doing it sooner, and she figured my deductible has probably been met for the year, so we may as well get it done. She assured me, a couple of times, that she doesn't think the bleeding means there is anything wrong, and I agree.  Because of the radiation damage and fistula, there will always be some bleeding.  So, I am scheduled to have my colonoscopy next Monday, Dec. 3rd (yikes!).  
My 3 month check up with Dr. J went well. My blood tests are all ok, although my hemoglobin and red blood cell count both dropped a little.  Dr. J wasn't too concerned, and I told him I started taking a daily iron pill.  He checked my reflexes this time, and my wrists and knees were fine, but my ankles still don't respond.  This is from the neuropathy in my feet. I've been noticing that my balance seems slightly worse.  Just small things, nothing major.  This is probably from the neuropathy also.  I told him next time I see him (in 3 months) I'll be 4 years out from my diagnosis  of colon cancer (and 3 years from breast cancer).  He said that if the cancer does return, it wouldn't be as aggressive as a cancer that came back sooner.  He still wants to do scans every 6 months, so if anything does turn up we would be able to fight it aggressively, because I am still young and healthy (I love hearing that I am young!).   Dr. J also asked if I have been exercising, which the answer is an obvious no.  I think that was his gentle way of telling me he noticed I've been gaining weight.  This weight thing is so frustrating!  My metabolism is almost non-existent!  Oh well...I'll just have to try harder! 
Up until about 2 weeks ago I had been in a lot of pain (backside issues).  Sometimes it gets me a bit down.  You'd think after nearly 4 years I would have figured out what causes the 'bad' days. All I know is I have more bad days than good.  Although, whenever I have a stretch of good (like now), I hope that this will become the norm, and not the bad days!
I find there are still a lot of things that bring me back to my chemo days.  Thankfully, the nausea doesn't come back though.  For instance, today I heated up a bowl of leftover mashed potatoes, and it reminded me of how I ate them a lot during chemo.  I could almost feel that fog I was in for so many days each round of chemo.  There are reminders almost daily.
I always try to make sure people know (both those that are recently dx'd with cancer, and those that don't have it) that when the treatment stops, things don't go back to "normal".  This is where the term "new normal" really fits.  Because side effects, pain, psychological effects, are all a part of my life now.  I don't mean that to sound so bad, because I truly am grateful to be here and be cancer free.  But I think people need to know, so they can understand what they might go through, or what someone else might be dealing with.
God has answered so many prayers recently for my family and me.  I'm going to press in and pray for healing for my pain issues.  I've been praying for help with my fatigue, and I am feeling a bit better.  I just get busy and unfortunately don't have much energy left to spend time in God's Word as much as I should.  I really need to do that more...there is nothing like the feeling I get when I spend time with God!
Family update:  it's been so long since I blogged, I forgot I never wrote about my new granddaughter!  Alyssa and Jaren had their baby on 10/15, 3 weeks early, but she was considered full term.  They named her Selah ("say-la") Marie.  Selah is a musical term in Psalms that means to pause, or pause and reflect.  She is a beautiful little girl, and the new family is doing great.  They have plenty of babysitters to help them out!  Here is a picture of Selah, and one of my grandsons:

Aren't they cute?  Charlie is doing so well!  He is standing by himself in this picture!  He can walk with a walker.  It's hard to believe he is the same tiny 3 and a half year old that came to us from Ukraine. What a gift he is! Brennan is as smart as ever, and at the age of 3 he is reading a few words!  Love my babies!
Shonna is doing great at college--she just registered for spring sem.  I LOVE having her back in MN!  
Thanks for reading!  Let me know if there is anything I can do for any of you readers--be sure to contact me if you have questions about cancer (chemo, radiation, breast, colon, etc., etc.)  OR if you want info about adopting a beautiful child from an orphanage.  Or maybe you want to know how you can help a child other ways besides adopting.  Please ask!  You can e-mail me at nuttyoaks@gmaildotcom.  You can also send me prayer requests, and I'll be happy to pray for you or send you some helpful Bible verses. :)
God bless!
Tina

It's September Already!

As usual, I'll start with the health stuff, because I figure that's what most people are here to read about!  All my scans were clear, and bloodwork was good! My onc. asked me if I planned to do reconstruction, and we talked about the pros and cons of that a little.  He said they have some very good and newer procedures now, but also said there is no reason to do recon.  He said I should do whatever Rich and I think is best.  He said it is unlikely that I would get cancer in my remaining breast--if I did it would be a new primary, and not a recurrence. I'm seriously considering another surgery to go completely flat and just be done with it all! I feel like I'm always uneven and it's getting annoying. Plus, I wouldn't have to have the MRIs and Mammograms any more! I keep saying this, but I really should just see a plastic surgeon, so I would at least know my options.  My biggest fear with recon is that my radiated skin won't heal properly.  So many women never achieve good results after rads.  I don't want several more surgeries and revisions.  But I could handle one more, if it would make life easier.  We'll see.  
We also talked about my neuropathy--not much new there.   I still have it, and my onc. thinks I probably always will.  I have Lhermitte's sign again, which is a tingling down my back and left leg everytime I bend my head forward.  I had that after chemo, but went away, and now it's back.  It can be a sign of MS, but it's also common after chemo.  Doc said it's nothing to be concerned about and brushed it off.  I, of course, did some research, and I agree with doc.  It's just more nerve damage from chemo.  It's been less than 2 years since I finished chemo, and I still get new and different signs of the nerve damage.  Last Fall, after going back to work and being on my feet a lot, I started getting a burning feeling on the bottom of my feet--it felt like I stepped on hot pavement.  That doesn't happen as often, but now I am getting more cramping in my feet--esp. my right foot.  When I am sitting here on the couch with my feet up, sometimes my toes and the top of my foot will just cramp up and my toes will be stuck in a certain position, until I stretch it out. 
Anyways--there wasn't much else to discuss with my onc.  He does want blood tests again in 3 months, and ct scans again in 6. I'll also have my colonoscopy then, and mammo.  I almost told him I would rather wait a year to get scanned, because I'm so sure they'll be clear again, but there is always that little fear, and I kept my mouth shut and am going to go along with his expert recommendation.
As for the fistula, it involves only a little muscle, so I could have it cut open, with the hopes that it would heal completely and be gone, but there is always the issue of my radiated skin.  I told the surgeon that I am worried it wouldn't heal.  She agreed that could happen.  We decided to leave it as it is, with the Seton in (the rubber band like thing that lays through the fistula), and keep checking on it every 3 months.  She said it can be left in for a couple of years.  It doesn't bother me too much, so that's what I'm going to do.  She also said it won't affect any of my options, and I can change my mind at any time.
Ok, enough of that.  In other news...I go back to work Tuesday, which is when the new school year starts.  I am sort of looking forward to it, but I am worried about how tired I will be.  I only work 10-1:15, but that is a busy 3.25 hours and I am on my feet a lot.  Nearly 2 hours of it is lunch and recess.  It wears me out.  I don't like coming home so exhausted I can't do anything else the rest of the day!  I've been tired a lot lately, even without working.  It's frustrating.  I've even been exercising more, because I assumed not exercising was part of my problem.  It hasn't helped, and I am often even more tired after exercising.  I have been eating better (although not this weekend!!), and that hasn't helped either.  I might go see my family doc, but really, there is not much that can be done for "fatigue". One thing I would like to try though, is taking Synthroid (brand name) instead of generic meds for my thyroid.  I've read several times that the generic is not always as good as the name brand in this case. Another dr. appointment to make....
How did that turn into talking about my health again?  In OTHER news....Alyssa is 31 weeks pregnant now, and getting big.  She is more beautiful than ever!  Her baby shower is coming in 2 weeks!  She is working 2 jobs, and has been feeling too stressed (a lot of other stuff going on too), so she will soon be quitting 1 job.  She needs to take it easy and have time to relax, enjoy her new house and spend quality time with her husband.
My grandson Charlie is starting preschool in a new school district this week.  He just turned 5, but will do another year of preschool before starting kindergarten.  But, wow, he is learning fast now!  He knows lots of signs (sign language), and is starting to be more and more verbal.  Brennan has slimmed down and turned into a little boy over night.  No more toddler!  He will be 3 the end of this month.  He says things like "That's pretty cool" and "Are you kidding me?!" and many, many other cute things.  You can tell he listens to every word his momma says! ;)  The boys will be over tomorrow morning, to give Rachel some time to get things done, while Ken is keeping his bees company and harvesting more honey.  
Shonna starts college at our big city college on Tues.  She learned how to ride the city bus a few days ago, and checked out the campus, then flew to Louisville to photograph a friend's wedding.  We picked her up this afternoon.  It's going to be a crazy busy week for her!
September is not my favorite month, because of the busy-ness.  It just rushes by in a blur.  I suppose by the end of it, we are pretty settled into our routines, and then I can finally enjoy it.  I LOVE the cool fall air.  We got a taste of that earlier in Aug, but now it is back to warm and muggy (although not nearly as hot and muggy as July!).  Sept. 8th is a very special day though, as that is our anniversary (28 years!!).  Unfortunately we are often too busy to celebrate much on that day, but usually find time later in the month.  I am still considering another trip to Duluth this fall, this time just the 2 of us.  We have gone there many, many times to celebrate our anniversary!
Here are a few pictures from our family vacation in Duluth this summer:

(Just want to mention that I had just gotten a TOO short haircut, and was not happy with it--don't plan on having it that short again!)
Have a blessed week everyone!
Tina

Scans and Such

Well, I've had just about every part of my body scanned recently!  I hope that's done for a while!
Last Friday I had to repeat the ultrasound I had back in June to look at my fistula.  When I went to see my surgeon about it on Tues., she didn't have the results!  She finally talked to a dr. (the "head honcho", as she called him) who read the scan to her over the phone.  He only had 4 pictures and they weren't very good.  He wanted to repeat the ultrasound, and do it himself.  After talking with my surgeon he knew my background and exactly what she was looking for.  I was very polite, and agreed, but I was SO BUMMED!  I cried a little when I got out to the car, was mad at God, and used all 8 cylinders in the truck on my way home (nobody got in my way that day!).  The ultrasound is a difficult test for me, causes pain and discomfort, and I really just hate it.  I can't fully explain why, because that is just TMI.  But I hope I never have to have that again!  When I called my surgeon's clinic to schedule another appt. with her after having the repeat scan done, they wanted to schedule me 4-6 weeks out.  Umm, no.  They were able to get me in this Thurs., less than a week after the scan. ;)  
Monday I had my MRI, to check for breast cancer, and today (Tues.) I had my ct scans and lab work.  Most of my labs are done already, and I can check them online.  So far, they all look good! My oncology nurse had a difficult time get blood from my port, so I had to let some "cath-flo" (draino like stuff) sit in there for about half an hour, then it worked fine.  Sometimes little flaps develop in the port line and they let stuff in (like saline) but the flap closes when drawing blood out.  The cath-flo eats that away and clears the line. It sure was nice having the port the past few days though.  It was used for my MRI, labs, and CT scan. No big ugly bruises on my arm, and relatively little pain!  
The bad part about the CT scan is that the yucky, horrible contrast I have to drink really messes up my stomach for the rest of the day.  Lots of gurgling and discomfort.  Oh well, by tomorrow I should be fine.
Now I wait for results. Thurs. I'll find out what we can do about the fistula, and next Tues. I'll see my onc and get the results of my scans.  They'll be all clear, I'm sure!
Even with all the strife and discomfort of the last week or so, I've been very happy.  I've been getting out for walks, now that the weather is cooler, and loving the exercise and the beautiful world God created for us.  I've felt very connected to my Lord lately, growing in my trust and faith.  I rarely worry about a recurrence, although I have been saddened that others I know have progressed to stage 4.  I do wonder sometimes if it will happen to me, but most of the time (75%?) I feel as though I've been healed and will never have cancer again (which would be a miracle, given my "young" age for both cancers).  No matter what happens though, I will continue to trust in God!
The rest of the fam is doing well--mom and Shonna are headed up north with my sister, and Alyssa and her husband.  Rich and I will have the house to ourselves woo-hoo!  :)  We had a great time recently in Duluth with our kids and grandkids.  I love having everyone together like that!
Life is good people--get out and enjoy it while you can!!
Love and blessings!
Tina

A Loooong Overdue Update!

Well, I've been putting off updating, because so much has happened since March (I can't believe it's been that long!) that this could be a REALLY long post.  I'll do my best to shorten all the news, and hopefully update more often!
Let's start with my health~thankfully not much has changed!  I still have the Seton thingy in my fistula, and it's feeling a bit better (although sore now from sitting so long!).  I recently had an ultrasound of the area, but I can't get in to see my surgeon again until Aug 7th to find out the results and what we do next.  Remember, this was caused by the radiation I had for colon cancer, and the radiated skin makes this a bit more tricky. For now, we wait and see what the surgeon says.  She is really good, and I trust her judgement.
In May I had my 3 month check up with my oncologist and had my labs done.  Everything looks good--some things, like hemoglobin and platelets, have improved. I continue to have problems with neuropathy, esp. in my feet, I continue to be tired a lot, and I still have a lot of bowel issues from my Low Anterior Resection.  But I'm happy to be here, and be alive!  My surgery was over 3 years ago--can you believe it?!
In Aug. I'll have labs, CT scans, MRI, and see my onc. again.  I had an MRI and Mammogram in Feb., but he wants to start staggering them and doing one of them every 6 months.  So, I'll have the MRI in Aug., and the mammo  next Feb.  My oncologist is keeping a close eye on me, so if there ever is a recurrence, of either cancer, we'll catch it early!
Ok, on to other news!  In my last post I wrote about Rich going to a job interview that sounded promising--well he got that job!  The pay is BETTER, the people are nice, and the job is interesting, rewarding, and less stressful! The drive is about 24 miles one way (nearly double what he drove before), but it's not so bad.  He leaves early to beat the worst of the rush, and he is trying different routes.  What we thought might be a major trial, was God just answering my many prayers to get Rich a better job!   We have an AMAZING God (and He is amazing whether or not we go through difficult times!). Rich was miserable at the other place the last few years. Life is too short to live like that!
I have not found another job, and am thinking my little part time job at the school is really a blessing.  Although it doesn't bring in much money (enough for a car payment or 2), I get to spend more time with my girls and grandkids.  And those 3.25 hours a day I do work wear me out, so longer hours would be worse!  I still keep my eyes open for a quieter paperwork kind of job though.  That wouldn't wear me out as much as working with kids does.  But then I wouldn't have summers off, would I?
Now for the REALLY GOOD news! Alyssa is pregnant!!  And she is having a GIRL!  I am sooooo excited!  I was really hoping for a girl, because we've got the 2 boys.  Alyssa was hoping for a girl too, because she LOVES pink!  She warned Jaren that there might be 'pink overload'.  He is so good to her.  It makes him happy just to see her so happy about the baby.  Funny thing is, this wasn't planned, and they had actually just talked about putting off having kids for a long time.  God had other plans for them!  They will be great parents, and they will have lots of help!  Baby girl is due Nov. 5th.
Brennan and Charlie are growing like little weeds!  Charlie is walking with a walker, and can walk holding on to furniture.  He is so awesome.  He is happy, giggly, and loves to hug and be held! He'll soon be 5!  Brennan will be 3 the end of Sept.  He is so funny and has a great sense of humor.  Talks and sings all the time.
Alyssa and Jaren bought a house only 4 miles away.  They moved in mid-May.  Rachel and Ken sold their house in just a few days, and bought a house a little farther away.  They are about 25 min. away, instead of 5, but are a little closer to Ken's work.  Rachel is always planning and thinking about the next child they will adopt, but for now, there is work to be done on their new house, and 2 adorable little boys to give lots of attention to!
Shonna did move back home and we are so happy to have her back in MN!  She will be going to the the U of M!  Not the school I ever expected, but it is a lot less expensive than the Christian schools (even with some good scholarships she got!).  She adopted 2 cute bunnies, and they are taking up most of my family room!  But I love rodents, and these 2 are cute and have a lot of personality!  Shonna will eventually be going to live down the street with my sister.
Ok, how did I do?  Not too long I hope! I plan to do a post soon on some of the emotions and issues we cancer survivors can have.  I've experienced a lot of highs and lows lately.  But that's for another day....
May God greatly bless each reader that stops by here...love to all!
Tina

Mid-March Update

Hope everyone is doing well!
I'll start with the procedure I had for my fistula.  It was called a Seton Placement.  Not a drain, like I thought, but something similar to an open rubber band laid through the fistula to keep both ends open.  The surgeon was pleased that she was able to find both ends and do the placement.  In a few months I'll have to have some more procedures done, but I don't remember much of what she said after my surgery. I see her for a post-op check up on Thurs., so I'll find out everything then.
In other health news, my mammo and MRI came back clear.  So I'm done with tests for awhile!  I saw my onc., for my 3 month check up, and everything looks good there too.  My wbc were a little low, but he said that could be because I was a little sick, or could just be from all the chemo I had.  I also complained of being tired, and he seemed to think that was to be expected also.  He still wants more labs and a visit with him in 3 months, and ct scans again in 6 months.  He said there are protocols that suggest I could go longer between scans, but because I've had the 2 different cancers, (and the fact that I was young for both), he wants to keep a closer eye on me.  That's fine with me! Speaking of being tired...I've been on Spring Break this past week, and have still been really tired--but I think it might be from allergies, because they are really bothering me with this warm weather we are having. The maples are starting to bud, and that's always when I start having trouble!  I still enjoyed the time off though! We've gone for lots of walks, and gotten a few things done (but, a lot less than I planned on because I've been so tired!)
On to other news!  Rich has been keeping busy house-cleaning!  He has vacuumed EVERYTHING. He even found some lost socks behind the dryer in the laundry room!  :)  He has applied for several jobs and has an interview for one that sounds promising on Monday.  The bad part is it's about double the distance of his last job, so he'll have to spend more time driving.  Maybe we'll have to get the Bible on cd and with all that time in the car he'll be a theologian in no time!  :)  I'm secretly hoping they hire him, but give him a few more weeks before he starts----there is a lot more stuff around here he could do!!
I'm sort of looking for another job/2nd job too.  If Rich doesn't get another job soon, I will definitely need to work more.  And if he gets a job, but it doesn't pay as well, then I'll still have to work more. And, really, I just need to work more!  I did apply for a different position at the school, but didn't get it. (I needed more computer experience)  So, not sure what to do, but I've been looking and keeping my eyes open.  Anybody want to hire me for anything??  :)
My girls have been keeping me busy as usual.  Rachel and Ken are getting ready to put their house up for sale--they need more room.  I still watch their boys at least twice a week.  Brennan is growing so fast and learning so many things!  Charlie too!  Charlie can stand with help (and even for a few moments on his own!).  His heart is doing well, and he is healthy.  
Alyssa and Jaren are busy house-hunting.  Rich and I went with them on Wed.  They found one they really like--hope they can get it for a good price.  It's only a few miles away.  Now if we can just convince Rachel and Ken to stay in the area it would be so perfect!  
Shonna is thinking about coming back to MN to go to college next year.  She applied to a Christian college in CA, and got their best academic scholarship for her GPA and ACT score.  She is a smart girl!  But now she is thinking of going back to the college she went to for her senior year in high school.  It's a good, quality, Christian school. There are a lot of different ministries she can get involved in here, and maybe get on a worship team somewhere.  She has enjoyed her 2 years at IHOPU, but feels it's time to work on getting her degree.   I will be SOOO happy if she comes back to MN.  Even better--she plans on living with my sister!  Shonna would be close by, but not under my roof--perfect! ;)  
Some days, I just feel like the most blessed woman on earth.  My husband is so good to me, my girls are close by, and so are my 2 grandsons.  I sometimes feel like I don't deserve this.  But that's the way God is.  Even when we didn't deserve it, He sent His son to die for us.  For you, for me.  And, the thing that I love best--His love is UNFAILING.  There is no one on earth that you can say that about.  Only God.
That's all for today!  
Blessings to all!
Tina

Guest Blogger Talks About Mesothelioma

What Is Mesothelioma and What is the Mesothelioma Center?

Mesothelioma is a cancer caused by an exposure to asbestos. The Mesothelioma Center is the most complete, up-to-date resource – like an Internet encyclopedia – that can explain anything you want to know about the two.

An estimated 2,500 to 3,000 Americans are diagnosed each year with mesothelioma, one of the few cancers that can be attributed solely to man-made exposure. It develops in the thin layer of cells that surround the chest, abdomen or heart.

And it is caused by an inhalation of microscopic asbestos fibers that get lodged in that mesothelium membrane. Asbestos is a naturally occurring mineral that was once used in thousands of products, including anything related to construction to anything that needed some heat resistance and flexibility. Unfortunately, it was toxic, and when disturbed or ages, it becomes airborne.

Although the prognosis for a mesothelioma diagnosis is usually poor – six to 18 months to live – strides are being made slowly. There are exceptions, too.

The Mesothelioma Center has documented survivors who have lived five, 10 and 15 years with the cancer for which there no cure.

Mesothelioma often is viewed as an occupational disease, most prevalent in construction, ship building and among military veterans. The majority of patients are male. Yet it also strikes women who never stepped into the workplace, breathing those asbestos fibers from floor or ceiling tiles.

The Mesothelioma Center is a one-stop resource for patients, families and friends. It has free informational packets, a Doctor Match Program to sync patients with doctors, nurses on staff to answer questions, and patient advocates to help people through every step of their journey.

Because mesothelioma is rare compared to many cancers, only a small percentage of physicians have seen it enough to fully understand it, and properly diagnose it. They just don't see it enough.

Mesothelioma has a latency period of anywhere from 10 to 50 years between exposure to asbestos and diagnosis, which is why the disease can be so puzzling. Many of the symptoms – fatigue, a persistent dry cough, shortness of breath – are often confused with other, less serious illnesses.

It is important to find the best possible care, and as quickly as possible when the cancer is in its earliest stages.

Bio: Tim Povtak is a senior writer for the Mesothelioma Center. Prior to joining the center, Tim was an award-winning journalist at a daily metropolitan newspaper.

Still Cancer Free!

Just had my CT scans and blood tests yesterday, and I already have the results--everything looks good! Thank you God!  I'll see the onc next Wed., and  the only thing I have a question about is why my white blood cells have dropped a bit below range.  I think it's my body still recovering from all the chemo and radiation I had.  He'll also let me know if I still have to have the scans every 6 months, or if I can go longer between scans.  I am on the fence about this.  I like knowing there is no cancer in my body, but the ct scans themselves pose a risk because of the radiation.  I'll trust my oncologist's decision--he a great doc!
I have more tests at the end of the month--a mammogram and MRI, then I'll be free of tests for a while!  Yay!  
Stayed home from work today with a stuffed up head. Didn't sleep much last night and had stomach problems from that barium contrast stuff I had to drink yesterday for the scans.  Man that stuff messes up my stomach! My frequent trips to the bathroom caused other issues, which eventually required a percocet for pain!  It's been 2.5 years since I finished radiation for the colon cancer--I hope someday my skin will heal and I won't have these painful "issues" anymore!   
Speaking of which, tomorrow is my little procedure to try to drain the fistula on my backside--another side effect of radiation.  I have many people praying for me because with my sinus problems they might not let me go under anesthesia.  I really want to get this done, but if doesn't happen, I'm going to trust that it's God's will, and He knows what's best for me!
So it's a mixed bag of news tonight.  The reason I'm fitting all this medical stuff into one month is because our health insurance coverage will end at the end of Feb.  Rich lost his job a few weeks ago.  :(  After 27 years they let him go.  I can't even begin to explain the feelings we have had over this.  Some of the folks he worked with are devastated by this.  He was a great boss.  I have been praying that he would get another job, because he has been miserable  for over a year.  They made things difficult for him; I think they were trying to get him to fail--well HE DIDN'T!  They had to come up with some lame excuse.   A bunch of people that he worked with (recently and in the past) got together for a little party for him.  It was real nice--lots of people he hasn't seen in a long time--really lifted his spirits! We are trusting in God, knowing that this is an answer to prayer.  As stressful as this is, it's so nice to have Rich around and be able to do more things together.  Before he was always either working, or exhausted.  That's no way to live.  I know God has more for us than that!
That's all for now--getting sleepy and need to get to bed soon!
Blessings to all!
Tina

February is looking Busy!

Seems I'm doing about 1 blog a month now.  I guess that's good--means nothing too bad is happening health-wise!  :)  Life is busy though, and that's good too.
Work is going well.  Every time I complain about it I remember 1. it's only 3 hours, and 2. I get lots of days off! The 3 hours part can be deceiving though. It's a very busy 3 hours, and 1 hour of it is outside.  It gets hard on my neuropathy, not to mention my poor aging skin!  I have other problems that are aggravated by so much walking around too.
There is another job, though, that I've been thinking about, and may see if I can do it temporarily over the summer.  It involves lots of paper work, and sounds like heaven!  My sister was describing it to me and everything she said just made it sound better and better.  Most people wouldn't like to be searching through stacks of papers and working on the computer, but to me, that is the PERFECT job.  The pay is less, but I would be working year round and therefore would be making more money annually than I do now.  Just something I'm thinking about at this point.
Another job I would like to do would be helping out the elderly--especially with their computers.  Many want to get e-mail and be on Facebook to see what everyone is doing, and look at pictures, but don't know how.  Think anyone would hire me to come over once or twice a week and help them get online? It's just one of those thoughts that tumble around in my head!
Excuse me if I ramble on a bit today.  I had to take a pain pill, and that makes me a little loopy!  I will fill you in a bit on some issues I have been having, but don't want to get in to too much detail because of the "delicate" nature of these issues. (If you have read my blog from the beginning, you know that I used to just tell it like it is, since it's hard not to when talking about colon and breast cancer. But it's been awhile since I've had to talk much about these things).  Last Thursday I saw the colon-rectal surgeon again that I saw back in Oct. or Nov.  I definitely have a fistula this time.  My backside has been very painful; some days worse than others (like today).  There are also tender skin issues from radiation and today is a day when both things are painful at the same time! A fistula is a tunnel that develops under the skin, between two organs, or from the inside to the skin surface.  Normally the surgeon would cut the top off of it and then it would fill in and close up with scar tissue. I can't have surgery back there because my radiated skin might not heal.  Also my surgeon told me the procedure could leave me incontinent (because of radiation or my colon resection, or maybe both)--no thanks!!  In Feb. I will be having a procedure where my surgeon can "explore" the area and hopefully put in a tiny tube to help it drain (not sure if this will help it close up?).  This will be done under anesthesia.  Sounds fun doesn't it? Another side effect of that wonderful radiation. (A side note--someone asked me how to word a blurb about the radiation her daughter would be having--I told her the right way to word it, then told her there are many other words I could put with the word radiation--and none of them very nice!! It's the only time I swear, or think of swearing, these days!)
Also coming up in Feb. will be my labs, ct scans (for colon cancer), and 3 month visit with my oncologist; also a visit with my primary for a pre-op check up.  I plan on talking to her about my neuropathy at that time, to see if there is anything more I should be doing to keep it from getting worse. So, it will be a busy month!  Feb. 6th will be 3 years since my tumor was found during a colonoscopy, and on the 20th it will be 3 years since 18" of my colon was removed.
March is my "breast cancer" month. I'll have a mammogram and MRI.  
It's crazy what I've been through in the last 3 years!  Sometimes it seems so far away, and other times it seems like it was just yesterday I was lying in bed in a chemo fog, unable to even shower!  I am so grateful to still be here, 3 years later. Even with all the side effects, life is still wonderful.  The blog community has lost several lovely people to cancer the last few months (from young children, to mom's with young children, to the elderly), and others have had their cancer get worse.  I know how blessed each day is that I am cancer-free.  My prayer list grows long...
Well, I think that's enough for today.  Maybe in a few days I'll post more about non-cancer related parts of my life (like my awesome little grandsons!). Stay tuned!
Love and blessings!
Tina