Round 3 Update

Hi!
Just a little update to let you all know how its going.
The "blahs" have kicked in. Had a hard time getting out of bed, and have been moving slow ever since! A bit more nausea today, have taken several different pills, and its better now (altho never completely gone!). Rich and I went out for lunch--unfortunately nothing tasted very good, but it was nice to be out of the house! Took a nap when we got back (with a little help from the Ativan pill!), and then watched an old Elvis movie. Rich has been putzing around the yard all day. Usually I'd keep him company, but I just don't have the energy, and its very chilly(only 53 now!) and super windy--so I'd have to wear the scarf and mittens! Hopefully this will be the last time its will be this chilly!? Tomorrow should be mid 60's and then 70's after that--yay!

I'm anticipating tomorrow to be worse, and maybe even Monday worse yet, because that's how it was last time. But I do know that each time can be different, so maybe it won't be so bad. I'll be praying about it too. God always gives me His peace when I take the time to talk with Him. Here is a passage from a friend's calendar that she sent me in an e-mail:

Trusting God completely means
having faith that He knows what is best for your life.
You expect Him to keep His promises, help you with problems,
and do THE IMPOSSIBLE when necessary.

The Lord your God is the faithful God
who for a thousand generations keep His promises.
Deuteronomy 7:9 tlb

I do trust God completely! And am so thankful for His love and mercy. It amazes me everyday!

I have been praying for some others I have found thru blogs that have colon cancer also. Some really have it rough. Their faith and strength are an inspiration to me to continue to be strong and fight. I'm young to have colon cancer (44), but one young gal is only only 19, and a few others are in their 20's and 30's and have young children. I pray for them often! So many stories start with a doc telling them they are too young for a colonoscopy, and then they waste time searching for other problems, and sometimes even being treated for other things, like colitis. By the time the doc (or a different, wiser doc) does the test, the cancer has spread! So, I BEG you--if you have bowel problems (any bleeding at all, or changes in bowel habits) DON'T WAIT! Insist on getting a colonoscopy. Its an easy procedure-- not bad at all!

Take care everyone!
Love and blessings to you!
Tina

Chemo Round 3 Has Finally Begun!

My white blood cell counts were way up --higher than the ranges! The doc was right and I am very sensitive to the Neupogen shot. I'm glad I only needed one, but if I need more in the future, I'll be better prepared for the pain. The doc said I probably won't need another shot until after radiation when I'll have 8 more rounds of chemo.
I was telling the nurse how sensitive I am to cold after chemo, and she said it sounds like I'm extra sensitve to the Oxaliplatin chemo drug also. Great... I can only hope that means its working extra hard to kill the cancer cells! But that is also the drug that causes hair thinning--lets hope that side effect skips me! By the time I'm done getting chemo, my hands are already extremely cold sensitive. Even the handles on my kitchen cupboards are too cold! My fingers are tingling now, and I don't even know why!! And the bare floors are way too cold for my feet! It takes some getting used to! After my 2nd round the sensitivity didn't go away completely, even tho it was 3 weeks between treatments. Also, my muscles cramp easily, my cheeks and nose get SUPER red, food doesn't taste good, and I'm very tired. No nausea yet :-) . I know it sounds like I'm complaining--but I'm really not. Its not so bad, and I'm glad to be back fighting the cancer!
Next chemo will be in 2 weeks, on the 27th. I think alot of people were scheduled to bring me food next week, but I know Dee called/e-mailed some to change it. Its too bad everyone's schedule had to be messed up.
Alyssa took me to my chemo today. Rich had an important meeting at work (that he scheduled for today because I wasn't supposed to have chemo!), and while we were both sad he couldn't be with me, it was nice to have Alyssa with me. She has been a BIG help during all of this. And I think its good for the girls to come with me and see the cancer center, meet my oncologist, and just generally see what Mom goes through.
I'll update more in a few days, and let you know how I'm doing!
Thanks so much for the thoughts, prayers, food, everything!!
Love and Blessings!
Tina

Happy Belated Mother's Day!

Yesterday was Mother's day, and it was a very nice day for me! Hope it was for all the other moms out there too. The good side of not having chemo last Wed. is that I wasn't sick and I didn't have to wear a scarf and mittens! It was chilly, as usual, for our annual picnic. Today was nearly 70 and sunny, while yesterday was only 54, and that came later in the afternoon when the sun finally came out! Other than the cold, it was a perfect day! Started with flowers and cinnamon rolls from Rich, then church, a picnic, a nap, watched a movie with Lyss and Rich, then a little reading time before bed--Perfect!
I'm still a little...hmmm...not sure what...disappointed(?) that I didn't have chemo, and I'm not sure why. I didn't expect to have problems with my immune system this soon (I've only had 2 chemo treatments), and that worries me. Does that mean I'll have more problems, and more setbacks? Having a weakened immune system is a scary thing. The doc didn't tell me to take any precautions, but now I wonder if I should have(beyond obsessively washing my hands and using hand sanitizer). Apparently my counts were pretty low. Also, I keep saying how I really have to let go of the guilt I have about messing up everyone's schedule, but I'm not sure I have let it go...something to pray about tonight, I think! I do feel, now, that God is in control, and that comforts me.
So, while I feel good, and I'm grateful for that, I still feel a little off. Not quite as cheerful as I usually am the last few days before chemo. Can't explain it tho.
On to happier news! Rachel heard the baby's heartbeat last week, and tomorrow she has another ultrasound. I'm so excited to be a grandma!
Alyssa hears from Jaren almost everyday, and he might get his 2 week leave in June. He is doing well in Iraq, altho its usually 110-115 degrees each day! She has finals this week, and then this semester of college is done! Alyssa has been such a blessing to me--she takes good care of me, and helps around the house.
Shonna is relieved to be done with her AP tests. Last week was stressful for her. If she does well (which I'm sure she will!) she'll get college credit for 2 classes. Her job at the library is going well, and she often picks up others' shifts--she likes the money! She has also had a few paid photography jobs, and has more lined up.
This coming Wed., I'll go to the cancer center again and hopefully be ok to get chemo! Alyssa will be taking me this time because Rich has someone flying in from AZ for a meeting. He didn't think he'd need this Wed. off--it was supposed to be in between treatments. He feels bad, but I reassured him that I'll be fine. It is sort of sad--its the first time he won't be with me. I'm so spoiled! I am happy to have Alyssa take me, though, because I kind of wanted the girls to have a chance to go with me at least once.
I want to say a big THANK YOU to DeeDee for sending another box of snacks over for the cancer center! The nurses are so grateful! And thank you to everyone who has been sending meals and gift cards GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!
Love and blessings to all!
Tina
A Bible verse I came across today during my study: Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Good News, Not So Good News

Well, my white blood cells and other related numbers went up, but not high enough to get chemo tomorrow. We are going to try for next Wed. The doc thinks they'll go up enough without another shot, thank goodness! I think because it hurt so bad yesterday, he decided not to do another one today. And by delaying chemo a week, my blood cells should build up on their own. It's technically not white blood cells that the doc is so concerned with, its "neutrophils" in my bone marrow, and when they are low it's called neutropenia (this concludes your medical lesson for the day!).
The difficult part of all this is it throws off my whole schedule! I had really hoped this wouldn't happen this soon. I've got subs all planned at work, people are scheduled to bring meals according to my chemo schedule, and now it's going to be the opposite weeks! I feel so bad about work. I'll be missing even more days now. I keep telling myself its not my fault, and there is nothing I can do about it, but I can't help but feel bad. I am so blessed to work where I do!
As for the food...considering I really don't feel like cooking AT ALL these days, it doesn't matter when it comes--we'll take it! And maybe some meals I can freeze.
You guys have no idea how much I appreciate everything everyone is doing for me. God Bless you all!! I always pray for extra blessings for those that are taking their time to cook, pray, send cards, give me Milk Duds ;), think good thoughts, whatever! So be prepared for God's blessings!
My back still hurts off and on. Major movements, like stairs, standing up, or sitting down send temporary electric shocks up my back, and I'm still taking Tylenol and ibuprofen. The nurse said my fever yesterday could have been caused by the shot too. I wish they would have told me that before I worried that I was getting some horrible infection my body couldn't fight off! I'm tired and often have a headache, but that could be all the stress too. But, hey, these are all minor, and I'm not complaining, just updating how I'm doing. It'll be nice to have extra days without nausea!
It's almost time to eat a yummy meal provided by a co-worker! I'm very thankful to have it today!
Love and Blessings!!!
Tina

No Chemo Today :(

Well, we got to the hospital early so I could scope out the deli, buy something for lunch, and put it in the fridge in the cancer center. Turns out I didn't need it! My white blood cell count was too low for chemo--which was a total surprise! I didn't think it would happen this soon, and I figured I'd feel it somehow, and I've been feeling great. So the doc tells me I need to have a shot the next 3 days to bring my wbc count back up. I thought uh-oh, is this the shot I've heard about that makes the bones ache and causes a lot of pain?? The doc said it was a milder form of that shot, and its generally well tolerated, and I should have NO PROBLEM. I should note here he says that about everything! I had to give myself the shot, because I was supposed to take one home to do tomorrow, but insurance didn't like that (its a $1200 shot!). I'll have to go back tomorrow and they'll do blood counts again and I might not even need the 2nd or 3rd shot. They can't do chemo tomorrow tho, because they are too full, so if my #'s are ok I'll have chemo on Friday.
Anyways, when we finally left the hospital, we went out to eat lunch (at MaMa's in St. Paul), and then went home as we were both very tired (Rich hasn't been feeling well due to allergies, I think). As soon as I got home and sat down my back started hurting, like I was sitting on a nerve and it was sending little shock waves up my back. We went to lay down and soon I couldn't move AT ALL. If I did, even to move my arm or talk, waves of pain shot up my back. Finally I told Rich to get me some Tylenol and I took 3. He called the doc to see what else we could do and they told me to take 3 Ibuprofen also, and repeat every 6 hours. After about 45 minutes the pain started to subside. I didn't think it would! I was doing my childbirth breathing and saying to myself "its only pain", and sometimes even crying! It was really bad. I'm so thankful the pain pills worked! I still feel achy and can feel little waves of pain in my back, but its tolerable now. If I have to get another shot tomorrow I'll take the pain meds right away. The nurse told me they've never seen it hit someone so fast. I feel like I've been lied to by the doc, because this was EXACTLY the shot I've heard about! I think he tells me things so I don't worry, because everyone is affected differently. I would have rather known how bad it could get, so I would have been better prepared!
The other thing I'm worried about, of course, is getting sick. All my vital signs were a little elevated this morning, and my temp was 100 when I got home. For me 100 means something's wrong, because my normal temp is around 98, but the doc isn't concerned unless it goes higher. I do have to be very careful tho. I wash my hands alot!
The doc just called to see how I was doing. He said I am so sensitive to this shot-he was very surprised it affected me so quickly. He said I probably won't need another and my numbers might even go higher than needed. I hope he's right! I told him I kept telling myself that the pain meant it was working! I like that when I call the clinic with a problem he always calls me back himself later to make sure I'm ok.
Well-to wrap up--tomorrow I get my blood checked, get another shot if needed, and go back Friday for chemo(if numbers are ok). Then I'll have the "bag" until Sunday. Last chemo round I still felt pretty good the third day, and got worse after that. So hopefully I'll feel pretty good on Mother's Day, but it might affect my work week more. Oh well, not much I can do about that.
I'll update again tomorrow or Friday; please keep me in your prayers! God keep the germs away!! And that dreaded shot! ;)
Love to all!
Tina

3 More days...But Who's Counting?

One cannot help but think about what is to come....but in the meantime, I am enjoying feeling good and eating cold things!
I had a very nice weekend; the weather has been perfect! Near 70 today! Did alot of shopping, and sitting outside. Also visited with cousin Kathy; they had a little get together for their daughter's confirmation. Was feeling pretty tired from my busy morning, so didn't stay too long, but it was nice to see her and her family.
Are there any other cousins out there? (Well, besides the ones I've heard from, obviously!) I'd love to hear from you! Sounds like we are not having a reunion this summer. Not sure if I'd be able to make it anyway! I'm still pushing facebook(its safe--don't believe everything you hear on the news!)--sign up so we can keep in touch. I wish I could see pics of everyone's kids and figure out all their names and stuff. I don't see anyone enough to keep it all straight. Family has always been important to me, but even more so now.
I'm finding I'm more bold about things too. Esp. with people. I've never been very outgoing. It wasn't that I didn't care--just didn't want to "bother" people. That's changing! (So watch out!) I've been so blessed with people who care about me and aren't afraid to show it that I want to make sure I let people know I care too. And not miss a chance to bless someone else. So, all of you that are helping me through this time are showing me how to bless others, so your blessings will continue on thru me to even more people! (That makes sense in my head!). You all are storing up treasures in Heaven, and someday God will say "well done!"
Today was the first day I didn't take any anti-nausea meds. I still have some cold sensitivity, but only if I hold something cold for a long time, or let something too cold sit on my tongue too long. I was eating a bunch of cold "finger-foods" like fruits and veggies, and all of a sudden the fingers I was holding the food with felt like they had freezer burn and I had to warm them up right away. I have some other annoying stomach problems (that are really getting on my nerves), but over all I can't complain!
The next 2 days should be good ones, and then round 3 of chemo starts Wednesday. I'm hoping it goes as well as last time because I felt pretty good those 3 days of chemo. Monday was the worst day, which was a bummer, because I was hoping to feel better by then and not worse! I had to take Mon. and Tues. off work. Thankfully there are not many days left of school!
Thanks for checking! Please pray for: lesser side effects and tummy problems; Rachel and "Bambino"; and Jaren in Iraq.
Love you all!
Tina
PS. I'm eating a Buster Bar now---yumm!!

Lovely Friday!

Glad its Friday! Today I was tired, but other than that, ok! I slept (w/o meds) until 2:30, and then slept off and on after that. Not too bad over-all. I still am taking 1 of my nausea meds regularly, and others as needed. I had to take an Ativan after work, because it just all of a sudden hit me. Had felt fine before that! Rested a little after work, but didn't sleep. Rich came home a little early and was doing yard work, so I went and sat in the sun and watched him. That's my favorite past-time->watching my husband do yardwork!! I finally picked up some sticks and then spread some plant food on the gardens. Its exciting to see all the little green sprouts coming up already. I don't have many spring plants, but there are alot of other things starting to grow.
These days are the best. I have 4 days (hopefully good ones!) before I have to do chemo round 3. There are so many things I want to get done before I feel sick again. The neat thing is everything is so exciting to me! Partly because of the "big picture", meaning I'm happy to be alive to enjoy every little thing, and partly b/c of the "small picture", meaning I feel like I'm waking up from a deep sleep and I only have a few days to enjoy everything. I don't know if that makes sense. Suffice it to say that pretty much everything makes me happy and excited!!
My cup overfloweth with blessings. 2 wonderful ladies at work gave me a basket of treats, and a big pot of Pansies today. It really brightened my day. And I know I've said this before, but I can't wait to pay it forward! I'm even clipping recipes that I think would be good to make for others when they need a meal--so someday I'll be on that list of people to ask to make someone a meal! I'm not exactly "Susie homemaker", so I sort of stayed in the background instead of jumping in and volunteering for meals. Prayer and encouragement are more my "thing". That and the fact that my own 3 children kept me very busy and were at times more than I could handle!
Busy day tomorrow. Probably more yard work, but more importantly, we have to pick up Alyssa's wedding dress!! I know the wedding is a year away, but she found the "perfect one" and had to have it! I can't wait to see it again. Then we are going to eat lunch at Eddington's (all you can eat breadsticks, oh and good soup too!), and after that I think we are going to stop at 1/2 price books to check out their big sale. Sounds like a fun day doesn't it? Its supposed to be in the 60's and sunny, so maybe I can leave my gloves at home! I've had to wear them all the time I was outside today, even tho it was near 60. My fingers really tingle easily this round.
Well, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!! Enjoy God's beautiful creation, and spend time with loved ones!
Love,
Tina