Nerves and Nausea

Today I had to go to the Cancer Care Center to get my port flushed. I remembered to put the Emla cream on my port (numbs the area so the needle doesn't hurt so much), and I remembered to bring the treats we had bought (if anyone still wants to donate treats, we'll be going back in a month). Before I went out the door I felt like I was forgetting something. Do I need my scarf to protect my throat from the cold? No. Do I need my bag with books and snacks? No. I better drink cold water now because I won't be able to later. Oh, wait, yes I will still be able to have cold stuff because I'm NOT getting chemo!!!
My stomach started tightening up with all these thoughts. I just kept taking deep breaths, and reminded myself that I'm done with the bad stuff. I started feeling nauseous as soon as I left the house. I brought my Ativan with, just in case, but didn't want to take anything because I figured since I wasn't getting chemo, the nausea wouldn't last long. (3 hours later my stomach still feels a little yucky!)
It felt so weird being back there. My nurse, Andrea, was there, but she wasn't the one flushing my port. But she did come over to see new pics of Brennan, and to see how I was doing. That's the good part about going in--the nurses are so nice! Rich went with me, even tho I assured him I would be fine going by myself. But I'm always glad to have him there with me!
While I was there I asked my oncologist's nurse to ask him what he thinks about the mammogram report. She talked to him then came back to the infusion room to tell me what he said. Basically, he agreed with the radiologist and I should go ahead and get a "stereotactic" biopsy. I'll have to look that word up--but from what the radiologist said, its a thin needle that will take some of the calcifications out so they can be biopsied (sp?). He said it doesn't hurt. The nurse gave me a copy of the report, and it says that one group of calcifications looks like it may be DCIS (a non-invasive type of breast cancer).
DCIS is a cancer that doesn't spread, and doesn't grow very fast. The radiologist said if I left it for a few years, it may become a lump. So its not life-threatening. The worst part about it is I will be at higher risk for other types of breast cancer. I'm still annoyed at the whole thing, but not worried. :)
I hope that anyone reading this who has cancer, or is going through any other deep valley, realizes they don't have to go through it alone. God is there to hold you and carry you, all you have to do is ask! On this earth we will have troubles, but if we believe in God and His son Jesus, we can spend eternity with them, where there is no sickness, no pain, and no tears. That is so amazing to think about! God is so good!
Love you all!
Tina