Monday, July 13, 2009

I Shouldn't Complain, But...

This is really starting to suck. (sorry--I hate that word, but it fits!) I have been having lower abdominal cramps for days now. The pain keeps me awake at night. I'm not even going to try to sleep in bed tonight--I'm staying in the recliner. Its easier to get comfy here than in bed. Today was really bad. I do not like having to get up and shower and get to radiation every day--just makes everything hurt worse.
Today I had to go to the cancer center after radiation to get my labs done and new pump cartridge, etc. The nurse was having some trouble getting my port flushed, but thought everything was working ok when I left. Halfway home the pump started beeping because something was blocking the med from getting thru. I checked all the clamps and repositioned everything, but ended up having to go back down to Regions to have them take a look at it. The doc wanted me to have a dye study done (they inject dye into the pump then look at it on xray to see if there are any blockages), and they were able to get me in right away. Everything looked fine. They put a new needle in and it worked great. The doc said it was "positional" which means I have to move around a little, or take a deep breath, and it should start working.
Cramps have been really bad tonight. Took Immodium this morning, but didn't help with the cramping like it was supposed to. Filled a prescription the doc gave me awhile ago for something called Lomotil; took that tonight, hasn't helped much yet, but I can take more if I need to.
I don't feel like eating anything, so have been hungry all day. Bought a box of potato flakes, and had Alyssa make me some mashed potatoes tonight, but didn't eat much of it.
Tomorrow I see the radiation doc. If I don't feel better, I'm tempted to ask him about taking a break for awhile, or quitting altogether. Brings tears to my eyes to even say that--I'm not a quitter, and I want to kick this cancer, but days of pain makes you think some crazy thoughts. I'm sure I'll be fine--God will get me through this! (prayers are appreciated!!)
Gonna try to rest now.
Love and blessings to you all!


  1. Tina, I've had the same thoughts ... it all gets to be too much ... hang in there.

    I hope better days are around the corner.

  2. My prayers are coming your way Tina! Hope you are feeling better soon!

  3. Oh God, the strength of the weak and the comfort of sufferers, mercifully accept our prayers, and grant to your servant Tina the help of your power, that her Cancer may be turned into health, and our sorrow into joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen


  4. I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. Just remember, you are over half-way there! Try to focus on the future, not the present. You have so much to look forward to, you will beat this cancer, you will be a grandmother, you will see your new son-in-law soon, you will see Shonna start college.... and so much more. I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but I know that God is with you and you are a strong women - you can do this. Thoughts and prayers are always with you. Stay tough! Jeanne