Right after my last post I decided to sweep and mop the kitchen floor. As I swept behind the bench, out came a big blob of dust. The title to this blog is the thought that went through my mind when I saw that big dust bunny! More creative than my usual titles, don't you think?
Well, I think I'm ready for round 2 tomorrow. Especially now that my floor is clean! :) Although I never got around to paying bills. Oh well, I'll be able to do it Tuesday. Its later in the week that I get really "out of it".
Rich is doing some work from home in the morning tomorrow, then he'll take me to chemo. I have to be there at 11. They'll access my port to do labs, then I'll meet with my onc. While I'm meeting with him, the lab results will come in and he'll give me the go ahead (assuming the labs are ok!). Sometimes the labs take longer than usual, and then I just go back to the infusion room and hang out in a chair until we get the ok to start. Then we still have to wait a bit to get the meds ordered. I'll get my Emend pill, then Decadron and Zofran in the IV, then Adriamycin (aka red devil) administered by the nurse via large syringe into my tubing, then, finally, the Cytoxan via IV. I think the Cytoxan takes about an hour. That's the nasty crap that can cause bladder irritation (or worse), so you have to drink tons of liquids the first 2 days, and go to the bathroom frequently to flush it all out.
I think I am mentally more prepared this time, since I know more what to expect. I'm gonna "go with the flow", and just hang out and take it easy. There is nothing I HAVE to do. But, if I feel ok, then I'll do something. Sometimes its nice to get out of the house for a little bit, so Rich might just take me on a drive, or to DQ, or something. The weather is supposed to be really nice, so hopefully I'll feel like sitting out on the deck now and then.
Spiritually I think I am more prepared too. I'll be reading Psalms and my special verses (see tab at top of page), and throughout it all I will be singing praises to God! Today's sermon was about joy, one of the fruits of the Spirit (which reminds me I need to listen to last week's sermon online about love). It was a good sermon to hear just before going into "the fog" of chemo. Pastor Mark used Psalm 43, which is a good example of how to work through the times we feel God has rejected, or abandoned, us. It reminds us to pray and worship to reconnect with God.
Oh--something I forgot to mention in my last post. I was mentioning my spiritual gifts. And I said faith was my top gift. Now, I've come to understand that this is a good gift to have (as they all are), but at first I said to Alyssa "Faith, what can I do with that??" and Alyssa says "Duh mom, move mountains???" And I just said "oh yeah, there is that." Then started laughing at the stupidity of my statement! I'm still laughing! I was really looking for a "practical" gift that had something definite I could do for the church--- like the gift of hospitality--everyone knows what to do with that! (ahem, a gift I don't have, by the way!) I was telling a friend about this conversation, and he told me my faith has really moved him, and helped him with his faith. I was very humbled by that, and am thankful to God for using me that way. I never know what to say when someone tells me that, or that I inspire them. I just silently give thanks to God. Its such a privilege to show Him to others.
In closing, here's the lyrics to a song we sang today--love this song, because Love really did come down to rescue me!
Love and blessings!
Love Came Down
If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice
I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith I will believe
I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
I am Yours I am forever Yours
When my heart is filled with hope and every promise comes my way
When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me
Staying desperate for You God, Staying humbled at Your feet
I will lift these hands and praise I will believe
I am Yours, all my days, I am Yours
copyright ©2009 Brian Johnson Music.