Monday, June 14, 2010

Pre-Chemo Post

Its raining, again.  At first I thought Seriously?  But now I am enjoying the soothing sounds...I was watching the squirrel in the bird feeder dish eating away in the pouring rain.  Every now and then he'd (she'd?) stop and shake off all the water.  They are pests, but cute too!
I'm taking it easy and slow today.  Enjoying my morning doing whatever I want.  I'm trying to remember the things I'll need from my last chemo experience.  I got out all my pills and put them back on the bathroom counter.  I was relieved to find I still have some Ativan.  It was intended for nausea, but it is also an anti-anxiety med., and I plan on taking one before chemo today.  I think I will be nervous and probably nauseated just sitting in that chair again.  Some of the other meds I have are colace and senekot (needed for the nausea meds!), compazine (nausea), Ambien (many sleepless nights, esp. with the steroids!), oh, and I forgot to look for the Zofran--its also for nausea, and is very expensive. 
I am so blessed to have such good insurance.  I almost feel guilty about it.  It hasn't denied me any expensive drugs or treatments (made the doc jump through a few hoops, but at least I got what I needed!).  I just read that insurance will be going up quite a bit next year, and deductibles will be increased.  Which wouldn't be so bad if we could keep our health spending accounts, but I think those are being axed next year thanks to Obamacare.  I really worry about what's going to happen to our good healthcare...  I prayed last night that God will continue to bless us with good health insurance!
I hope this chemo doesn't hit me too hard.  I'm most worried about throwing up--didn't do that at all with the last stuff.  I have a wig appt. on Wed., and I want to get my haircut on Thurs., so I hope I'm able to do all that!  Plus, we are getting ready for Shonna's party on Sunday.  A lot of people who are getting the same chemo as me say that the worst days start on about day 3, and last for a couple of days.  Of course, everyone is different.  One drug, Andriamycin (aka red devil), will make my urine red for a few days.  A friend commented that its called red devil because "its red and nasty!".  The other drug, Cytoxin, can cause bladder irritation so I will need to drink LOTS of liquids to flush it out.  The steroids I get pre-chemo for nausea make sleeping difficult, and the other anit-nausea drugs can make me constipated--so all in all not a fun time! But, hopefully not too bad either.
I had a hard time getting to sleep last night.  My brain was busy thinking about chemo stuff.  Since I was awake, I thought it would be a good time to talk with God.  Praise songs were going through my head, and lots of prayers for others fighting cancer.  I discussed with God what I would like to get out of all this (hey--we are supposed to bring our requests to God, and pray for things like wisdom!  Not sure when He's going to answer?).  I also asked Him what He wants me to get out of this.  I really get the sense that part of what He wants, at least, is that I spend more time just doing this--talking to Him and reading His word.  He wants more relationship with me.  Isn't that amazing?  He wants me to talk to Him!  WOW.  We were created to have a relationship with our Creator.  Sometimes its hard for Christians to grasp that.  We think we have to do certain things.  But, remember, we are saved by Grace, not works. Yup, pretty amazing.
Well, I better go start drinking water--I think I'll start with a glass of Citrucel...
My appt. is at one today...prayers appreciated!
Blessing to you all!

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