Decided to Go Through With It!

Well, I had a radiation treatment today. So only 2 left! I'm a little worried about doing the last 2, because my bowels hurt a little more today. So, we'll just have to wait and see what I decide tomorrow!

When I saw my doc (Dr. B) today, he said he thinks we should quit, but then he said he knows Rich and I really want to finish this. He said there is no right or wrong answer here. He told me my last CT scan (from the night before I went into the hospital when I went to the ER) looked "remarkable" and when I asked him what that meant he said the walls of the lower bowel were quite thickened. But we don't know if that's from the radiation or the C-diff infection. So, after talking some more he said he was willing to give it a try. He also called my oncologist(Dr. J.) to let him know what we decided, and he was ok with it too. I hate "gray" areas! I'm am such a black and white person! I wish Dr. B could have said its definitely ok to have the last 3 treatments, or its not ok--none of this "we don't really know" crap. I really don't want to cause permanent damage to my bowels, but I want to reduce my risk of the tumor coming back as much as possible. Well, I hope I made the right decision--I prayed about it before, during and after the treatment, so its in God's hands now!

I changed the date I start chemo again to Wed., Sept. 9th. That's one week later than before, and the day after my 25th wedding anniversary! So that gives me a little extra time to "feel good" and enjoy what's left of summer. I think I figured out that if I were to stay on my every-other week schedule I should have my last treatment on Dec. 16th (my mom's birthday!), and I'd have my pump removed 2 days later on the 18th (Rich's birthday!!). The week after that is, of course, Christmas. I hope the girls aren't expecting much for the holidays this year! If they want the house decorated I have a feeling they'll be doing it themselves. :)

I have notified the school that I will be taking a medical leave of absence until Jan. 8th. Monday, Jan. 11th will be my first day back. The school board has to approve it, but that shouldn't be a problem. I just hope I'm ready to go back by then! Part of my job is to do recess, so I better get over the cold sensitivity quickly! I tried working during chemo last spring and I kept having to call in sick. That was very stressful and frustrating for me, and the teachers and students really need more consistency. I am REALLY going to miss the start of the school year, the kiddos, and all the wonderful people I work with. I hope I get a chance to see some of them occasionally. I'm planning on going up to the school one day this week, and maybe having lunch with some friends next week? That would be wonderful! And maybe on some of my good days I can go in to work as a volunteer and help out with some projects. I know the first grade teachers always have some project going on that the paras could use a hand with! Or I could always go in just to sharpen to Karen's pencils!! :)))
Take care everyone!
Tina