In a Holding Pattern

I still haven't made my decision yet--mastectomy (single or double), or another lumpectomy. I think I am leaning towards a mastectomy now--that's a BIG change from before. But we'll see.
My oldest brother called me the other day. Wanted to put his 2 cents in. He asked why wouldn't I do everything possible to make sure the cancer is gone and never comes back? Good question. He also shared some experiences others' have had, and that's always helpful. I think part of my problem is that cancer doesn't scare me anymore, but it should! I should be doing everything possible to be around to watch and help my girls become wives, mothers, or whatever God has for them. And watch my grandson become a Godly young man. And, HOPEFULLY, to see MORE grandchildren! And, of course, to grow old with the man I love.
On Tuesday I had a MUGA heart scan and an EKG. These tests are necessary to make sure heart function is good enough to handle the chemo I'll be getting. I'll get them throughout my treatment to make sure the drugs aren't damaging my heart. Those tests showed my heart is good to go!
Tomorrow I have a bone scan, 3 ct scans, and I'll have my drain tube pulled. I can't wait to get rid of it! I'm going to be a baby and take a pain pill before I go. Rich will drive me. Going to be a long day.
Monday I go back to work (guess I'll have to start wearing a bra again!). Tuesday I meet with my surgeon. I have lots of questions about different options for surgery, and reconstruction. Wednesday I meet with my oncologist to go over all my test results and talk about "the plan". I have lots of questions for him too--like what it means, exactly, to be HER2+, and is that +, ++, or +++ (apparently there's a difference). I think HER2 is a more aggressive cancer--should that make a difference in which surgery I should have? Am I at more risk for it to come back, and if it does, will it be aggressive and quick moving? [Shonna loves mama lots. ] Still have not gotten my genetic test results. I left a message for the genetic counselor, but I don't think she'll be back in before Tuesday. I really need to have those results to make my decision.
So, after all my appointments next week, I should be able to make my decision. I won't be having surgery or starting chemo until after May 23rd, so I'm thinking surgery will probably be Monday the 24th, or soon thereafter. I'll get 2 or 3 weeks to recover, then bring on the cancer killing poison!
Well, I see Shonna put her little message in the middle of my blog! Silly girl! I've been distracted by Brennan. So now I've forgotten everything else I was going to say! I guess I'll end here!
Love to all!
Tina