So far everything is going pretty well with radiation. I'm still getting used to the routine of going to the hospital everyday, it takes me about 20-25 minutes to get there, depending on traffic. I like that I have time to do things in the morning (I don't leave until 11 am), but my afternoons are useless. I eat lunch when I get home, then instead of working on projects(I've got a to-do list on the fridge) for at least a little while--I read, and sometimes even take a little nap! I'll have to work on structuring my time a little better. And I should probably find a little time in the morning for Bible study again, and some exercise would be good too. I guess my problem is that my time just seems so unstructured right now, and I feel like I'm wasting alot of it! Since I'm not feeling really sick, I should be doing more--but running to radiation everyday just messes things up. Oh well--I guess if that's all I've got to complain about, I must be doing pretty well, right??
Today(in addition to radiation) I had my port flushed, needle changed(that hurt!), and a new cartridge of 5FU put in my pump, plus labs done. My labs are ok, except for my hemoglobin, which went down to 9.5 (supposed to be 12-14). Its been below 11 most of the time since my surgery. The doc gave me iron pills, but I keep forgetting to take them. I don't know why it would go down. I didn't think chemo affected red blood cells--I'll have to go back and read all my info about chemo! That does add to the fatigue tho! I've been feeling yucky all day from that stupid saline flush of my port. I can taste it and the taste stays with me no matter what I eat--and just gives me a blah feeling. I held my nose for most of it (it really helps!), but not for all of it. My port was a little sluggish, so she had to keep flushing it until it cleared. I've also used an apple-cinnamon tea bag when I had my pump removed at home. You hold it to your nose and breathe it in and it really worked! Maybe I'll have to put some tea bags in a baggie and bring them on Mondays!
Other news--Rachel went in for an ultrasound on Friday morning and the baby is healthy and the right size. Very active too! The doc didn't like Rachel's blood sugars tho (they have been up, down, and all around!), so she put Rachel in the hospital for a few days so the endocrinologist (diabetes doc) can work on getting Rachel's numbers more stable. She was only supposed to be in for a few days, but event the experts are having a hard time getting her blood sugars under control! She says now she has proof its not just her! The endo thinks he's getting a handle on it, and she should be able to come home on Wed. She's bored silly! Ken spent the first few nights there with her, but tonight she's by herself. She has a word puzzle book, a jigsaw puzzle, books to read, plus a dvd player and dvds to keep her busy.
Alyssa and Jaren have been busy visiting friends, taking care of paperwork, and shopping! They have been staying at our house. Jaren leaves Wed. morning to go back to Iraq. It will be difficult for them, but they'll have lots of happy memories from this 2 weeks to help get them through the next 8 months! Keep them in your prayers!
North Heights Lutheran Church (our former church) will be having their annual Freedom Celebration on the 4th of July. Its a very patriotic service where they honor all service men and women. Vets are encouraged to wear their hats or uniforms. This year, at their Sat. eve. service, they will have a webstreamed, 2-way video between the church and the COB Basra, Iraq base, and the chaplain there, John Morris. That's the base where Jaren is! So we will definitely be going to that service! Maybe we'll be able to see Jaren! Altho I think it will be the middle of the night there. It'll be a good service anyway--it always brings a tear (or several)to my eye. I am SO grateful to ALL our servicemen and women! I just wish our country treated them better!
Shonna got a 32(out of 36!) on her ACT test. Hopefully that will help her get some scholarship money! She hasn't been home much since school's been out--tons of grad parties, fun times with friends, and work--whenever someone needs a day off, she gladly takes it for the extra money! Now she has a cold tho, so I hope she slows down the next few days.
So that's my update for now! Please keep all my little ones in your prayers, and Rich too, as work has been very stressful.
Take care everyone!!
Love,
Tina
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Only 15 Minutes!
So today was my 3rd radiation treatment (only 25 to go!). Yesterday took a little longer because they had to attach some wires and get a reading of how much radiation I was getting for their physicist. Sort of a quality control check, I think. Then I had to see the radiation doc (Dr. B). I'll see him every Tuesday. I knew I'd be seeing him occasionally, but couldn't remember how often. He just went over with me, again, some of the side effects, and what to do about them.
The main side effect is diarrhea, and skin irritation in that area. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, because the med. for diarrhea also affects my bladder. I still have some bladder problems; it never came back all the way after surgery, but the problems are minor. Dr. B said he'd rather I have bladder problems then the diarrhea, because I could lose too much fluids and electrolytes. When the problem starts, I think I'll call the urologist I saw after surgery and see what he thinks. In the meantime, I'm eating a low fiber diet, and trying to think of all the "binding" foods I can! The hard part will be not eating all the wonderful fruits of summer. But I'm very happy to be able to have cold stuff for most of the summer!
Today, I parked near the door at 11:18, and was back in the car by 11:33! When its just radiation, and no doc or other tests, its really fast! I'm learning how to position myself better so it's not quite as uncomfortable.
I did have a little nausea the first afternoon. I ate a little supper, then gave up and went to lay down and read for awhile. I also took a Compazine pill to help. I felt fine a little while later. I was a little queasy yesterday afternoon too, but was out shopping with Shonna, and it went away on its own. Today--so far so good! Most people don't have any nausea with this 5FU drug, but I've read about some that had bad reactions to it, so you never know!
Other than that--the pump is annoying, but overall this is a lot better than chemo! Everytime I'm laying on the table for radiation I remember that God is there with me, and I relax, and it goes just fine!
Take care everyone!
Tina
The main side effect is diarrhea, and skin irritation in that area. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, because the med. for diarrhea also affects my bladder. I still have some bladder problems; it never came back all the way after surgery, but the problems are minor. Dr. B said he'd rather I have bladder problems then the diarrhea, because I could lose too much fluids and electrolytes. When the problem starts, I think I'll call the urologist I saw after surgery and see what he thinks. In the meantime, I'm eating a low fiber diet, and trying to think of all the "binding" foods I can! The hard part will be not eating all the wonderful fruits of summer. But I'm very happy to be able to have cold stuff for most of the summer!
Today, I parked near the door at 11:18, and was back in the car by 11:33! When its just radiation, and no doc or other tests, its really fast! I'm learning how to position myself better so it's not quite as uncomfortable.
I did have a little nausea the first afternoon. I ate a little supper, then gave up and went to lay down and read for awhile. I also took a Compazine pill to help. I felt fine a little while later. I was a little queasy yesterday afternoon too, but was out shopping with Shonna, and it went away on its own. Today--so far so good! Most people don't have any nausea with this 5FU drug, but I've read about some that had bad reactions to it, so you never know!
Other than that--the pump is annoying, but overall this is a lot better than chemo! Everytime I'm laying on the table for radiation I remember that God is there with me, and I relax, and it goes just fine!
Take care everyone!
Tina
Monday, June 22, 2009
1st Radiation Treatment
I had my first radiation treatment today! We sure got our exercise walking back and forth between radiation therapy and the cancer care center! We park by radiation because we got a card to swipe to get into their parking lot, and its free! Then we walked to the cancer center to get labs done and see the oncologist. Then back to R.T. to get my radiation. Then back to the cancer center to get my pump hooked up. I forgot my pump at home (all I was thinking about was radiation!), but they found a spare one I can use until next Monday. Then, of course, back to R.T. (after stopping at the cafeteria to eat lunch!), because that is where we are parked!
Today, during radiation, they took x-rays first, so it was a little longer than normal. I have to lay on my stomach, with my face on a hard donut pillow, and my arms up above my head. Its very uncomfortable, because I can't breathe very well (I hate breathing in my own breath--I need fresh air!), circulation gets cut off in my arms, and I get red marks on my face from the "pillow". Oh, and the pillow presses on my port too. I'll try to position myself better tomorrow. I have 27 more treatments to figure out how to be more comfortable! I have to be very still, but I don't feel a thing. Since the other treatments will be quicker, it really won't be that bad.
Every Monday I will go to the cancer care center after radiation to get a new cartridge in my pump, and my needle in my port changed. Other than that the radiation itself should be pretty quick.
I found out today that I won't start chemo rounds again until 3-4 weeks after radiation is done(July 30th). They'll give me a little time to recoup. So I figure it'll be late Nov. to early Dec. before I'm done. All I care about is being able to go to the hospital when Rachel has her baby in Nov. Even if its just a quick visit to hold the baby. I can hardly wait!
I went to Rich's work today to get him to drive me to my first appointment. He likes to be there when I see the doctor, and I wanted him to figure out the parking lot for me! He'll go with me when he can, but I can drive myself when I have to. I'm just glad he could go with me today, I was pretty nervous! So thanks, Rich's work, for letting him leave! I know he had a meeting he was supposed to go to, but some things are just more important than work. I couldn't do this without him!
Well, that's about it! All in all, not too bad. :-)
Take care everyone!
Tina
Today, during radiation, they took x-rays first, so it was a little longer than normal. I have to lay on my stomach, with my face on a hard donut pillow, and my arms up above my head. Its very uncomfortable, because I can't breathe very well (I hate breathing in my own breath--I need fresh air!), circulation gets cut off in my arms, and I get red marks on my face from the "pillow". Oh, and the pillow presses on my port too. I'll try to position myself better tomorrow. I have 27 more treatments to figure out how to be more comfortable! I have to be very still, but I don't feel a thing. Since the other treatments will be quicker, it really won't be that bad.
Every Monday I will go to the cancer care center after radiation to get a new cartridge in my pump, and my needle in my port changed. Other than that the radiation itself should be pretty quick.
I found out today that I won't start chemo rounds again until 3-4 weeks after radiation is done(July 30th). They'll give me a little time to recoup. So I figure it'll be late Nov. to early Dec. before I'm done. All I care about is being able to go to the hospital when Rachel has her baby in Nov. Even if its just a quick visit to hold the baby. I can hardly wait!
I went to Rich's work today to get him to drive me to my first appointment. He likes to be there when I see the doctor, and I wanted him to figure out the parking lot for me! He'll go with me when he can, but I can drive myself when I have to. I'm just glad he could go with me today, I was pretty nervous! So thanks, Rich's work, for letting him leave! I know he had a meeting he was supposed to go to, but some things are just more important than work. I couldn't do this without him!
Well, that's about it! All in all, not too bad. :-)
Take care everyone!
Tina
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A Secret Elopement!
This was soooo hard to keep off my blog last week!! My daughter Alyssa and her fiance, Jaren, got married Wednesday in our backyard! When Jaren found out a few weeks ago that he was coming home on leave in June (he's with the Nat'l Guard in Basra, Iraq), he told Alyssa he wanted to get married. He said his biggest regret was that they didn't get married before he left. They will still have a ceremony and reception next year in May, as planned. It was a beautiful ceremony--very personal and romantic. There were many tears! Here are some pics:
The next 2 pics were taken on the bridge over the wetlands behind our house. Its our house you can see over their shoulders.
The next 2 pics were taken on the bridge over the wetlands behind our house. Its our house you can see over their shoulders.
Well, tomorrow I start radiation. The first of 28 treatments. Plus I'll get labs done, meet with oncologist, and get my pump with the 5FU chemo drug attached to me. I'm a little nervous, but less so after going to church today. 3 of the pastors at church today told me they were continuing to pray for me, and the sermon reminded me that God is right by my side when I'm going thru difficult times. It was sort of a "duh" moment. Why hadn't I thought of that before? I know He has been answering my prayers, but I never thought of Him as being by my side. That will help me alot tomorrow!
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13
Amen!
Love to all!!
Tina
Thursday, June 18, 2009
3 Tattoos
Yep, I got 3 tattoos today. 3 small dots to mark where they will aim the radiation. They will be there forever. Not a reminder I will really want! I'm toying with the thought of getting a real tattoo after I am done with treatment and they remove my port-a-cath. I'm not a tattoo person, but after the battle I'm going to fight, it just seems a fitting way to remember what I've been through. But, I doubt I'll actually go through with it--we'll see.
At my appt. today, Dr. B, (the radiation therapist), went over again all the side effects and addressed any concerns Rich or I had. The main side effect of radiation and the 5FU chemo drug I will have is diarrhea. Fun. I'll have to eat a low fiber diet--no fresh fruit or veggies. And I should eat several small meals and no big meals. There is always a risk of scar tissue and permanent damage to the bowels or bladder, but the risk is small. I shouldn't have too many other side effects from this chemo drug; maybe some fatigue, but hopefully no nausea.
Then I had to get a ct scan of the pelvic/lower abdominal area. It took about 25 minutes, and was VERY uncomfortable. I had to lay on my stomach with my face on a very hard "donut" pillow, and my arms up over my head. I could breath normally, but not move at all. My arms were asleep after, and I had big red marks on my face. I couldn't wait til it was over! Then they marked me with the tattoo dots.
So, they set me up with 28 appointments for radiation--starting Monday! It'll be at 11:30 every day. Most days I'll drive to Rich's work, and then he can take me to radiation. I should be able to drive myself on days he's busy. I want him with me the first few times, but after that I should be fine on my own. He really spoils me! I thanked him for going with me today--then I hit him (playfully!) and told him I am a big girl, and I could've done it myself! (but I am REALLY glad I didn't have too!) I've warned him that I might get used to him spoiling me and not want it to stop after I'm all better!
I'm nervous about starting this next phase of treatment. But I have to remember that I have to keep fighting!! I can't let the cancer grow or come back. My family is by my side going thru it with me, and I won't let them down. Prayers are appreciated for next Monday--I'm sure I'll have lots of butterflies--and aggravation at getting that stupid chemo pump hooked up to me for the next 5.5 weeks!
Love to all!
Tina
At my appt. today, Dr. B, (the radiation therapist), went over again all the side effects and addressed any concerns Rich or I had. The main side effect of radiation and the 5FU chemo drug I will have is diarrhea. Fun. I'll have to eat a low fiber diet--no fresh fruit or veggies. And I should eat several small meals and no big meals. There is always a risk of scar tissue and permanent damage to the bowels or bladder, but the risk is small. I shouldn't have too many other side effects from this chemo drug; maybe some fatigue, but hopefully no nausea.
Then I had to get a ct scan of the pelvic/lower abdominal area. It took about 25 minutes, and was VERY uncomfortable. I had to lay on my stomach with my face on a very hard "donut" pillow, and my arms up over my head. I could breath normally, but not move at all. My arms were asleep after, and I had big red marks on my face. I couldn't wait til it was over! Then they marked me with the tattoo dots.
So, they set me up with 28 appointments for radiation--starting Monday! It'll be at 11:30 every day. Most days I'll drive to Rich's work, and then he can take me to radiation. I should be able to drive myself on days he's busy. I want him with me the first few times, but after that I should be fine on my own. He really spoils me! I thanked him for going with me today--then I hit him (playfully!) and told him I am a big girl, and I could've done it myself! (but I am REALLY glad I didn't have too!) I've warned him that I might get used to him spoiling me and not want it to stop after I'm all better!
I'm nervous about starting this next phase of treatment. But I have to remember that I have to keep fighting!! I can't let the cancer grow or come back. My family is by my side going thru it with me, and I won't let them down. Prayers are appreciated for next Monday--I'm sure I'll have lots of butterflies--and aggravation at getting that stupid chemo pump hooked up to me for the next 5.5 weeks!
Love to all!
Tina
Monday, June 15, 2009
A Little Update
Just a little update...not too much new.
Saturday I had a fever and terrible headache in the evening, and it continued Sunday morning, but by Sun. afternoon I was fine. Weird! The only time I've had a fever so far was when my white blood cell count was low, but since I did a shot on Wed., my counts should be way up. Usually one shot makes my counts go above normal range. Oh well, I was worried about the fever, but now I'm just glad it went away! I have a very busy week and I don't need to be sick anymore!
Last night I couldn't sleep again. I don't know why I'm still having trouble with sleeping. I didn't think about taking an Ambien until about 2am, and then I figured it might be too late. I went out to the recliner like I usually do when I can't sleep, and was still awake at 4 this morning. That's when the first birds start singing. So, I'm a little out of it, being that I only had 4 hours (or less) of sleep! Most nights I sleep fine, but 1 or 2 nights a week I have trouble either falling asleep, or staying asleep.
This coming Friday will be 3 weeks since I've had chemo. Its taking a little longer than expected to get rid of all my side effects, but overall I'm doing good. I still can't hold anything cold for long, but I can eat/drink anything I want, so I'm happy with that!!
Thurs. I see the radiation therapist--I kinda am looking forward to getting started with radiation. I'm nervous, but yet I want to keep battling the cancer, and keep moving toward the finish line! I am grateful, tho, for this break in treatment.
I'm finding that there is alot of strange thoughts that come along with a cancer diagnosis. I'm so glad there are blogs out there of others who have gone through this already. There is fear even in the strongest of survivors; its what we live with every day. It helps me to know that I'm not alone with my thoughts. Now, I don't want people worrying about me. Overall I'm pretty positive-my faith in God helps alot with that. But, if I'm honest in this blog, then there are going to be times where maybe I'm not so positive and happy. I think its important for me to "tell it like it is".
Hope everyone out there is doing well!
Love to all,
Tina
Saturday I had a fever and terrible headache in the evening, and it continued Sunday morning, but by Sun. afternoon I was fine. Weird! The only time I've had a fever so far was when my white blood cell count was low, but since I did a shot on Wed., my counts should be way up. Usually one shot makes my counts go above normal range. Oh well, I was worried about the fever, but now I'm just glad it went away! I have a very busy week and I don't need to be sick anymore!
Last night I couldn't sleep again. I don't know why I'm still having trouble with sleeping. I didn't think about taking an Ambien until about 2am, and then I figured it might be too late. I went out to the recliner like I usually do when I can't sleep, and was still awake at 4 this morning. That's when the first birds start singing. So, I'm a little out of it, being that I only had 4 hours (or less) of sleep! Most nights I sleep fine, but 1 or 2 nights a week I have trouble either falling asleep, or staying asleep.
This coming Friday will be 3 weeks since I've had chemo. Its taking a little longer than expected to get rid of all my side effects, but overall I'm doing good. I still can't hold anything cold for long, but I can eat/drink anything I want, so I'm happy with that!!
Thurs. I see the radiation therapist--I kinda am looking forward to getting started with radiation. I'm nervous, but yet I want to keep battling the cancer, and keep moving toward the finish line! I am grateful, tho, for this break in treatment.
I'm finding that there is alot of strange thoughts that come along with a cancer diagnosis. I'm so glad there are blogs out there of others who have gone through this already. There is fear even in the strongest of survivors; its what we live with every day. It helps me to know that I'm not alone with my thoughts. Now, I don't want people worrying about me. Overall I'm pretty positive-my faith in God helps alot with that. But, if I'm honest in this blog, then there are going to be times where maybe I'm not so positive and happy. I think its important for me to "tell it like it is".
Hope everyone out there is doing well!
Love to all,
Tina
Friday, June 12, 2009
Such a Sad Day
This morning we went to the funeral for my cousin Joe. Its so sad when someone dies so young (50) and unexpectedly. His family is incredibly strong; I don't know how they made it through the service. I'm glad they have a strong faith to help them through this. Joe did a wonderful job raising his daughters. What beautiful young ladies. I'll keep praying for his family--Love you guys!
A few thoughts kept going thru my mind today: first, I don't know how I'd survive if it was my husband that died suddenly, and second, I'm the one with cancer. I'm not sure how to explain what that thought means--but if I died, it wouldn't be so unexpected. Joe was a healthy guy--or so everyone thought. Something in his heart "exploded", possibly a defect that had been there awhile. Anyways, I won't get anymore morbid about my cancer, because I expect to fully recover, but it just feels weird somehow that I'm here and will possibly live a long life, and Joe is gone. I wonder if others with cancer understand at all what I'm feeling/thinking?
As sad as funerals are, it is good to connect with the relatives, and I appreciated all the hugs I got. I'm so thankful I'm feeling better, and was able to be there. I'm amazed at God's timing and how I seem to always feel good on the days I really need too. I remember being disappointed when my chemo had to be delayed a week, but then I soon realized that my new chemo schedule worked so much better. God is good! (even when His timing isn't what we think it should be!)
I'm going to put the words to a Casting Crowns song here. I may have put this up before, but it really fits now. Its called "I'll Praise You in This Storm" and its a very special song to me.
A few thoughts kept going thru my mind today: first, I don't know how I'd survive if it was my husband that died suddenly, and second, I'm the one with cancer. I'm not sure how to explain what that thought means--but if I died, it wouldn't be so unexpected. Joe was a healthy guy--or so everyone thought. Something in his heart "exploded", possibly a defect that had been there awhile. Anyways, I won't get anymore morbid about my cancer, because I expect to fully recover, but it just feels weird somehow that I'm here and will possibly live a long life, and Joe is gone. I wonder if others with cancer understand at all what I'm feeling/thinking?
As sad as funerals are, it is good to connect with the relatives, and I appreciated all the hugs I got. I'm so thankful I'm feeling better, and was able to be there. I'm amazed at God's timing and how I seem to always feel good on the days I really need too. I remember being disappointed when my chemo had to be delayed a week, but then I soon realized that my new chemo schedule worked so much better. God is good! (even when His timing isn't what we think it should be!)
I'm going to put the words to a Casting Crowns song here. I may have put this up before, but it really fits now. Its called "I'll Praise You in This Storm" and its a very special song to me.
"Praise You In This Storm"
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Amen.
Love you all,
Tina
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Low WBC Again
I had to do another Neupogen shot (by myself!) today, because my white blood cells were low again. Which I knew because I always get a fever! This should be the last time until radiation is over. Then I wonder if this is going to be a regular 2 week thing--get chemo, 10-14 days later get a fever, wbc low, get shot, repeat every 2 weeks! As I've said before I seem to be very sensitive to the Oxaliplatin. It'll be nice not to have it for awhile. The nurses and doc don't expect the 5FU that I'll have with radiation to be too hard on me.
As for the nausea, we'll work on it more when we restart the chemo process. The doc just said there are other things we can try. For now, if I still have some mild nausea (I think I'm over the bad stuff), I should try ginger and since I seem to feel worse when I'm moving around, I can try a patch for motion sickness. He said these are "old-school" remedies that seem to work. He told me to call if I have any more trouble. I got a lot of sympathy from everyone when they found out I've spent most of the last 8 days in bed! I love my nurses! Plus, I haven't been eating much, and that concerns them too. My hubby is going to make sure I start eating some protein now that I'm doing better.
Next Thurs, the 18th, I meet with the radiation therapist, and he will do a ct scan and plan everything out for radiation. I assume I'll start radiation the next week, but don't know for sure. The same day I start radiation, I'll also get hooked up to the pump with the 5FU chemo. I'll wear that 24/7, stopping in at the cancer center once a week for blood tests and a refill. Radiation will be everyday, Monday-Friday, and it will all last 5.5 weeks. Then I'll restart my chemo rounds. I'll have 8 more rounds(rounds 5-12). All that should take me thru mid Nov, at the earliest.
Not feeling too much pain from the shot yet, but I did take 3 ibuprofen and 2 Tylenol before I did the shot! I expect I'll have some spine pain eventually, but it should only be when I move, and then only last for a moment. Not too bad. :)
After my appt. today we did manage to get groceries-boy did that wipe me out. I'm still pretty shaky--I have to work on getting my strength back. After, I ate lunch, did my shot, and took a nice nap!
Thanks for the prayers for my cousin's family--its still so bizarre that he is gone. I can't imagine what they are going thru. I just keep praying!
That's all for now...
Love,
Tina
As for the nausea, we'll work on it more when we restart the chemo process. The doc just said there are other things we can try. For now, if I still have some mild nausea (I think I'm over the bad stuff), I should try ginger and since I seem to feel worse when I'm moving around, I can try a patch for motion sickness. He said these are "old-school" remedies that seem to work. He told me to call if I have any more trouble. I got a lot of sympathy from everyone when they found out I've spent most of the last 8 days in bed! I love my nurses! Plus, I haven't been eating much, and that concerns them too. My hubby is going to make sure I start eating some protein now that I'm doing better.
Next Thurs, the 18th, I meet with the radiation therapist, and he will do a ct scan and plan everything out for radiation. I assume I'll start radiation the next week, but don't know for sure. The same day I start radiation, I'll also get hooked up to the pump with the 5FU chemo. I'll wear that 24/7, stopping in at the cancer center once a week for blood tests and a refill. Radiation will be everyday, Monday-Friday, and it will all last 5.5 weeks. Then I'll restart my chemo rounds. I'll have 8 more rounds(rounds 5-12). All that should take me thru mid Nov, at the earliest.
Not feeling too much pain from the shot yet, but I did take 3 ibuprofen and 2 Tylenol before I did the shot! I expect I'll have some spine pain eventually, but it should only be when I move, and then only last for a moment. Not too bad. :)
After my appt. today we did manage to get groceries-boy did that wipe me out. I'm still pretty shaky--I have to work on getting my strength back. After, I ate lunch, did my shot, and took a nice nap!
Thanks for the prayers for my cousin's family--its still so bizarre that he is gone. I can't imagine what they are going thru. I just keep praying!
That's all for now...
Love,
Tina
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Less Nausea
Yes, I'll talk to the doc tomorrow! I see him at 8:50, after having my blood drawn. I just figured each day would get better, so I didn't really need to talk to him until my appt. If I had known I'd be sick so long, I would have called, really. I have less nausea today, but feel very "out-of-it" and woozy. I even fell over getting out of the chair! (hurt my knee a little, but nothing major!) Knowing I am getting close to 2 weeks since my last chemo (Friday) I thought I should take my temp., because it seems it always goes up, and I end up with low white blood cells. Sure enough, my temp is 100. So that is part of the reason I feel crappy! Last time my doc tried to come up with all these other reasons I might have a fever, but its just the low counts. Maybe I'm unusual that I get a fever everytime? I'm guessing I'll have to do a neupogen shot, but since I'm not having chemo in awhile, I should be fine after that.
I'm curious to see how the 5fu affects me without the oxaliplatin. I know the oxa stuff causes the cold sensation, but I don't know which one causes more nausea. The nurses think I'll do better w/o the oxalip. We shall see!
Rich was gone to AZ for a short business trip since Sun. He got back today. He really didn't want to go, and told his boss awhile ago that he wasn't going to go on any trips while I was sick, but the project needed him, and I told him I'd be fine...this was a good time for him to go. And he's even back in time for my dr. appt. But I sure did miss him!!! I think it was good for him to have a break and not have to look at me lay around for a couple of days! I told him to think of some things he can do just for himself while I'm sick. He did get some books about building bird houses. We just may end with a big bird sanctuary here when he's all done!!
On a VERY sad note--my cousin Joe died Sunday morning. I still can't believe it. Only 50 yrs old, something to do with his heart, but very unexpected. Please pray for his wife and kids, and his brother and parents. They are my God parents and have been so good to me (I keep my "special" blanket with me all the time, it really soothes me). I wish I had something that could soothe them. I've been praying for them all day, and will continue to do so as long as God brings them to my mind. Love you guys, hang in there, and hold on tight to Jesus! I'll do my best to make it Friday to give you a BIG HUG!
Well, hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight. I don't believe God causes bad things to happen, but sometimes he allows it, and we may never understand why.
God Bless you all!
Tina
I'm curious to see how the 5fu affects me without the oxaliplatin. I know the oxa stuff causes the cold sensation, but I don't know which one causes more nausea. The nurses think I'll do better w/o the oxalip. We shall see!
Rich was gone to AZ for a short business trip since Sun. He got back today. He really didn't want to go, and told his boss awhile ago that he wasn't going to go on any trips while I was sick, but the project needed him, and I told him I'd be fine...this was a good time for him to go. And he's even back in time for my dr. appt. But I sure did miss him!!! I think it was good for him to have a break and not have to look at me lay around for a couple of days! I told him to think of some things he can do just for himself while I'm sick. He did get some books about building bird houses. We just may end with a big bird sanctuary here when he's all done!!
On a VERY sad note--my cousin Joe died Sunday morning. I still can't believe it. Only 50 yrs old, something to do with his heart, but very unexpected. Please pray for his wife and kids, and his brother and parents. They are my God parents and have been so good to me (I keep my "special" blanket with me all the time, it really soothes me). I wish I had something that could soothe them. I've been praying for them all day, and will continue to do so as long as God brings them to my mind. Love you guys, hang in there, and hold on tight to Jesus! I'll do my best to make it Friday to give you a BIG HUG!
Well, hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight. I don't believe God causes bad things to happen, but sometimes he allows it, and we may never understand why.
God Bless you all!
Tina
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Tired of Nausea
So, Friday was an ok day, like I posted. Was able to get out and do a few things. One would think that meant each day would get a little better. Well, I certainly thought wrong. Yesterday I started out in the morning with nausea, and it pretty much stayed with me all day. I was able to sit on the couch with the laptop, and read a little, so at least it wasn't a bed-ridden day. Today is pretty much the same. I had my pump removed last Sunday, so I thought I would be better by now! Ate some applesauce and crackers in bed, and took my meds. Glad Rich and the girls made it to church. Sounds like I missed some good worship. I will probably listen to the sermon online later.
Rich is gone most of the day, so I'm going to take the Sunday paper and computer back to bed. Awhile ago, while everyone was at church, I found that I had fallen asleep sitting up in bed with crackers on my lap! So, I'm thinking I'll be sleeping more than reading! That is mostly because of the Ativan. I try to just take 1 at a time to spread them out, but I'm so tired of nausea right now, that I'd rather take 2 and sleep.
Wed. I get my blood drawn again, and see the oncologist. I'll talk to him about the nausea, because I know there are other drugs out there (Emmend, Reglan), that might help. (or because I'm not actually vomiting, I should just put up with this?) But now we'll have to wait and see how sick the 5FU makes me, because I won't have the Oxaliplatin again until after radiation which will be around the end of July. I'm not sure which chemo drug causes more nausea, or if it is the combo of the 2.
Right now I just want to get thru another day, and pray that tomorrow is at least a little better!
Love you all! And thanks for your prayers!!
Tina
Rich is gone most of the day, so I'm going to take the Sunday paper and computer back to bed. Awhile ago, while everyone was at church, I found that I had fallen asleep sitting up in bed with crackers on my lap! So, I'm thinking I'll be sleeping more than reading! That is mostly because of the Ativan. I try to just take 1 at a time to spread them out, but I'm so tired of nausea right now, that I'd rather take 2 and sleep.
Wed. I get my blood drawn again, and see the oncologist. I'll talk to him about the nausea, because I know there are other drugs out there (Emmend, Reglan), that might help. (or because I'm not actually vomiting, I should just put up with this?) But now we'll have to wait and see how sick the 5FU makes me, because I won't have the Oxaliplatin again until after radiation which will be around the end of July. I'm not sure which chemo drug causes more nausea, or if it is the combo of the 2.
Right now I just want to get thru another day, and pray that tomorrow is at least a little better!
Love you all! And thanks for your prayers!!
Tina
Friday, June 5, 2009
A Better Day
Thank Goodness!
I had to still take it easy yesterday, but I was a little better--still not able to leave the house or do much (a little mail sorting, a few dishes, folded clothes). Today, tho, was much better. Still have some nausea, and nothing tastes good (argh!), but I was able to get out and do some stuff with Alyssa. We ran a few errands, stopped at school to clean out my locker and talk to a few teachers (so nice to see you!!!), and then we had lunch at Matthew's. I had a walleye sandwich and fries, which actually tasted pretty good. I had to stop myself from finishing my fries tho! No need to stuff myself! We had to stop at Target to look at some things, and while we were there I hit the produce section and bought red grapes, bananas, and a cucumber. A friend from work brought supper today(Thank YOU!!!), and she brought a bag of salad (which I will add cukes and carrots too), and some fresh strawberries. Doesn't it all sound good? I also have pineapple I cut up yesterday. I just have to remember to put some of the fruit out in the morning so its not too cold for me to eat!! I've been wanting the pineapple, but its too cold. Also bought a single serving size piece of yellow cake with choc. frosting, but that didn't taste good--I'm glad the healthier stuff tastes better--Rich ate the cake for me!
I was telling Alyssa today that even when I am at my worst I love when she, and Shonna, and Rachel end up ON my bed sharing their day and plans. I can only take it so long tho! Alyssa said I have a blank look on my face during those times, and she knows she'll have to tell me everything again. But that's ok! I just enjoy having them around!
Anyways, just wanted to let everyone know I made it out of bed--showered, did my hair and make-up (barely), and got out of the house!! Its a good feeling!
Love ya all!
Tina
I had to still take it easy yesterday, but I was a little better--still not able to leave the house or do much (a little mail sorting, a few dishes, folded clothes). Today, tho, was much better. Still have some nausea, and nothing tastes good (argh!), but I was able to get out and do some stuff with Alyssa. We ran a few errands, stopped at school to clean out my locker and talk to a few teachers (so nice to see you!!!), and then we had lunch at Matthew's. I had a walleye sandwich and fries, which actually tasted pretty good. I had to stop myself from finishing my fries tho! No need to stuff myself! We had to stop at Target to look at some things, and while we were there I hit the produce section and bought red grapes, bananas, and a cucumber. A friend from work brought supper today(Thank YOU!!!), and she brought a bag of salad (which I will add cukes and carrots too), and some fresh strawberries. Doesn't it all sound good? I also have pineapple I cut up yesterday. I just have to remember to put some of the fruit out in the morning so its not too cold for me to eat!! I've been wanting the pineapple, but its too cold. Also bought a single serving size piece of yellow cake with choc. frosting, but that didn't taste good--I'm glad the healthier stuff tastes better--Rich ate the cake for me!
I was telling Alyssa today that even when I am at my worst I love when she, and Shonna, and Rachel end up ON my bed sharing their day and plans. I can only take it so long tho! Alyssa said I have a blank look on my face during those times, and she knows she'll have to tell me everything again. But that's ok! I just enjoy having them around!
Anyways, just wanted to let everyone know I made it out of bed--showered, did my hair and make-up (barely), and got out of the house!! Its a good feeling!
Love ya all!
Tina
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Takin' a Little Longer....
Its taking me a little longer than I hoped to feel better. I figured Tues. would be the worst, then each day improve a little. But yesterday was the worst, so far. I stayed in bed pretty much ALL day. Not even a shower! The tiredness was there, but its the nausea that really makes me feel yucky. Not feeling much better today. I've taken 2 anti-nausea meds so far, and soon I'll take some more. I am trying to give the other ones time to work, because the next ones I take will make me sleepy and I was trying to avoid them. I guess I am doing a little better today, because I did shower already!
I wish food would taste better! An empty stomach makes me feel worse, but nothing is appealing to me so its hard to want to eat.
I'm trying to stay positive, because this is the last chemo treatment in awhile, and once I start feeling better,I know it'll last for awhile. The problem is I'm impatient and want to start feeling better NOW! But it'll come. I know it could be so much worse. There's just so much I want to do! And it does scare me a little(alot?) when I think ahead to my next 8 treatments after radiation. I guess I shouldn't let myself think about what that might be like...just take each day as it comes, right? *sigh*
Today is a big day for my youngest. Its Shonna's last day of 11th grade, and since she's going to college next year full time, its her last day at the high school! Congrats Baby Girl!!! I hope she keeps in touch with all her friends(she has some awesome friends!), and doesn't miss out on the fun "senior" stuff next year. We are hoping she can join the Bethel choir too, but don't know much about that yet. Now we just have to figure out where she should go to college after next year! She, of course, would like to go to some famous, well-known, college, like Harvard or something. Keep dreaming honey! :) She'll go wherever she gets the most scholarships for!
Rachel is 15 weeks pregnant now, and has really popped out! She can already feel the baby move a little too. Its sooo exciting! Her and Ken are going to Duluth for their 2nd anniversary.
Alyssa is busy with cheerleading tryouts (she's asst. coach at the high school next year), and getting ready for Jaren's visit. He's coming home on leave in a few weeks(yay!!). She's a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding soon too, so she has some planning to do for that. She still has not found a regular job, but I believe that is God's plan, because I really rely on her here to help me. She gets me anything I need, helps Rich with groceries (he's clueless! {love you honey!}), and makes to-do lists for him. I love it!! Last night she had a list for him to do when he got home from work, and he did it all--cleaned the sink and did dishes, took out garbage, and killed a spider! Poor guy didn't have a chance to sit hardly. AND she plans movie nights for us. She's waiting until I feel well enough to watch Pinocchio. The funny thing is she doesn't ask--she just stands the movie up on top of the tv and then we know what we'll be watching that evening! (watch out Jaren--she'll soon be yours!!)
I am so blessed! I feel better already just writing about my girls, and writing about how I'm feeling.
Well, just got off the phone with my mom (she's up north with my brother), talked to Alyssa for awhile (she's off somewhere-busy, busy), and then Rachel and Ken stopped by on their way to Duluth (I poked her belly, tee-hee)! Also got an e-mail from work about my assignment for next year, and now I can't wait to go back. Never realized how much I'd miss it!
I'm obviously feeling better than yesterday! Thank you God!!
I think I'm gonna try making some rice--or maybe soup? Something simple and warm. :)
Thanks for the continued prayers!
Love,
Tina
I wish food would taste better! An empty stomach makes me feel worse, but nothing is appealing to me so its hard to want to eat.
I'm trying to stay positive, because this is the last chemo treatment in awhile, and once I start feeling better,I know it'll last for awhile. The problem is I'm impatient and want to start feeling better NOW! But it'll come. I know it could be so much worse. There's just so much I want to do! And it does scare me a little(alot?) when I think ahead to my next 8 treatments after radiation. I guess I shouldn't let myself think about what that might be like...just take each day as it comes, right? *sigh*
Today is a big day for my youngest. Its Shonna's last day of 11th grade, and since she's going to college next year full time, its her last day at the high school! Congrats Baby Girl!!! I hope she keeps in touch with all her friends(she has some awesome friends!), and doesn't miss out on the fun "senior" stuff next year. We are hoping she can join the Bethel choir too, but don't know much about that yet. Now we just have to figure out where she should go to college after next year! She, of course, would like to go to some famous, well-known, college, like Harvard or something. Keep dreaming honey! :) She'll go wherever she gets the most scholarships for!
Rachel is 15 weeks pregnant now, and has really popped out! She can already feel the baby move a little too. Its sooo exciting! Her and Ken are going to Duluth for their 2nd anniversary.
Alyssa is busy with cheerleading tryouts (she's asst. coach at the high school next year), and getting ready for Jaren's visit. He's coming home on leave in a few weeks(yay!!). She's a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding soon too, so she has some planning to do for that. She still has not found a regular job, but I believe that is God's plan, because I really rely on her here to help me. She gets me anything I need, helps Rich with groceries (he's clueless! {love you honey!}), and makes to-do lists for him. I love it!! Last night she had a list for him to do when he got home from work, and he did it all--cleaned the sink and did dishes, took out garbage, and killed a spider! Poor guy didn't have a chance to sit hardly. AND she plans movie nights for us. She's waiting until I feel well enough to watch Pinocchio. The funny thing is she doesn't ask--she just stands the movie up on top of the tv and then we know what we'll be watching that evening! (watch out Jaren--she'll soon be yours!!)
I am so blessed! I feel better already just writing about my girls, and writing about how I'm feeling.
Well, just got off the phone with my mom (she's up north with my brother), talked to Alyssa for awhile (she's off somewhere-busy, busy), and then Rachel and Ken stopped by on their way to Duluth (I poked her belly, tee-hee)! Also got an e-mail from work about my assignment for next year, and now I can't wait to go back. Never realized how much I'd miss it!
I'm obviously feeling better than yesterday! Thank you God!!
I think I'm gonna try making some rice--or maybe soup? Something simple and warm. :)
Thanks for the continued prayers!
Love,
Tina
Monday, June 1, 2009
More on Round 4
Hi Everyone!
Today is one of the rough days. Been sleeping most of it. I think its weird when I'm already drifting off in the recliner before noon! Finally went back to bed and slept most of the afternoon. Nausea is present too, altho not too bad at the moment. I also am getting very light-headed when I get up; don't know what's causing that.
The weekend was pretty good. Had my pump removed yesterday. Sat. I was able to get out grocery shopping with Rich, and we had Culver's for lunch. Yesterday I was more tired, but sat outside a lot. Felt pretty yucky by bedtime, but slept well.
Now I've got a few days of yuck to get thru, and then I should start to feel better! As always, I'm looking forward to cold stuff--or even cool at this point!
I miss everyone at school! Thanks for the meals, snacks, and e-mails! Keep in touch over the summer!
Take care everyone!
Love,
Tina
Today is one of the rough days. Been sleeping most of it. I think its weird when I'm already drifting off in the recliner before noon! Finally went back to bed and slept most of the afternoon. Nausea is present too, altho not too bad at the moment. I also am getting very light-headed when I get up; don't know what's causing that.
The weekend was pretty good. Had my pump removed yesterday. Sat. I was able to get out grocery shopping with Rich, and we had Culver's for lunch. Yesterday I was more tired, but sat outside a lot. Felt pretty yucky by bedtime, but slept well.
Now I've got a few days of yuck to get thru, and then I should start to feel better! As always, I'm looking forward to cold stuff--or even cool at this point!
I miss everyone at school! Thanks for the meals, snacks, and e-mails! Keep in touch over the summer!
Take care everyone!
Love,
Tina
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