Friday, June 12, 2009

Such a Sad Day

This morning we went to the funeral for my cousin Joe. Its so sad when someone dies so young (50) and unexpectedly. His family is incredibly strong; I don't know how they made it through the service. I'm glad they have a strong faith to help them through this. Joe did a wonderful job raising his daughters. What beautiful young ladies. I'll keep praying for his family--Love you guys!

A few thoughts kept going thru my mind today: first, I don't know how I'd survive if it was my husband that died suddenly, and second, I'm the one with cancer. I'm not sure how to explain what that thought means--but if I died, it wouldn't be so unexpected. Joe was a healthy guy--or so everyone thought. Something in his heart "exploded", possibly a defect that had been there awhile. Anyways, I won't get anymore morbid about my cancer, because I expect to fully recover, but it just feels weird somehow that I'm here and will possibly live a long life, and Joe is gone. I wonder if others with cancer understand at all what I'm feeling/thinking?

As sad as funerals are, it is good to connect with the relatives, and I appreciated all the hugs I got. I'm so thankful I'm feeling better, and was able to be there. I'm amazed at God's timing and how I seem to always feel good on the days I really need too. I remember being disappointed when my chemo had to be delayed a week, but then I soon realized that my new chemo schedule worked so much better. God is good! (even when His timing isn't what we think it should be!)

I'm going to put the words to a Casting Crowns song here. I may have put this up before, but it really fits now. Its called "I'll Praise You in This Storm" and its a very special song to me.
"Praise You In This Storm"
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Love you all,


  1. Yes, I totally understood what you are saying.

  2. Yup - right there with you. I don't think it gets any easier, but it's something you learn to cope with.

  3. Thanks ladies for letting me know you get it, altho I'm not even sure I get it....this really sucks, doesn't it?

  4. Hi Tina,

    Again our condolences go out to you and your family regarding your cousin's death. I know how hard it is to lose someone so quickly. We continue to pray for you. Also, I just LOVE that Casting Crowns song. Thank you for putting it on your blog.