Such a Sad Day

This morning we went to the funeral for my cousin Joe. Its so sad when someone dies so young (50) and unexpectedly. His family is incredibly strong; I don't know how they made it through the service. I'm glad they have a strong faith to help them through this. Joe did a wonderful job raising his daughters. What beautiful young ladies. I'll keep praying for his family--Love you guys!

A few thoughts kept going thru my mind today: first, I don't know how I'd survive if it was my husband that died suddenly, and second, I'm the one with cancer. I'm not sure how to explain what that thought means--but if I died, it wouldn't be so unexpected. Joe was a healthy guy--or so everyone thought. Something in his heart "exploded", possibly a defect that had been there awhile. Anyways, I won't get anymore morbid about my cancer, because I expect to fully recover, but it just feels weird somehow that I'm here and will possibly live a long life, and Joe is gone. I wonder if others with cancer understand at all what I'm feeling/thinking?

As sad as funerals are, it is good to connect with the relatives, and I appreciated all the hugs I got. I'm so thankful I'm feeling better, and was able to be there. I'm amazed at God's timing and how I seem to always feel good on the days I really need too. I remember being disappointed when my chemo had to be delayed a week, but then I soon realized that my new chemo schedule worked so much better. God is good! (even when His timing isn't what we think it should be!)

I'm going to put the words to a Casting Crowns song here. I may have put this up before, but it really fits now. Its called "I'll Praise You in This Storm" and its a very special song to me.

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to you

And you raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Amen.

Love you all,

Tina