Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Feeling Down

I had a great day yesterday. I was awake early (my body is getting used to not getting alot of sleep), the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I decided I may as well get up. I had my shower, hair and make-up done, dressed, breakfast, all by 8:15 am!! We enjoyed the morning, then went to Fleet Farm to buy mulch and perennials. It was almost 11 when we left there and I was ready for "2nd breakfast", so we went to Perkins. In the afternoon Alyssa and I went shopping while Rich worked on the yard. I got a smoothie at Mrs. Field's--yum!! By 8 pm, I was pretty tired, so I went back to bed to read, but then Shonna flopped on my bed and we had to finish filling out the college PSEO papers. Seems everytime I try to relax in my bed I end up with 1 or more of the kids sprawled out with me!!(I LOVE it--it usually involves laughter!) I fell right to sleep when the lights finally went out, but of course I woke up 2 hours later and couldn't get back to sleep, so I took an Ambien.
Things went downhill from there. I did sleep, but not very well, and woke up feeling tired and groggy. Stayed in bed til 7:30 am, then tried getting ready for work and just got fed up. My stomach didn't feel well, I wasn't in the least bit interested in breakfast (just very thirsty), and I knew I couldn't make it thru the work day. I called Rich and told him I wanted to be done with work (only a few days left of the school year anyway), then called school and told them. I was in tears, which is what happens when I get tired and frustrated. Today was supposed to be my best day (chemo is tomorrow), and I'm tired of thinking I should be able to do certain things when I can't. Now I don't have to get up and try to make it to work, I can just take each day as it comes, which is a relief. I'm glad I worked as much as I did, but now I need to focus on myself and not worry about who I'm letting down. (but I'll sure miss everyone!!)
As I was sitting here feeling so blue, it occurred to me that I should take my temp. This is the time when my white blood cells should be at their lowest (2 weeks after chemo). Sure enough, I have a fever. Its not very high (99.6), but my "normal" is under 98. So, I'll keep an eye on it, and if it goes over 100 I'll have to call the doc. I'm thinking this means my wbc is low, hopefully I won't have to postpone chemo again! But now I know why I feel lousy.
Wow...tired all of a sudden. I'll end here and update after chemo tomorrow. Keep me in your prayers!

1 comment:

  1. Just happened across your blog.
    My husband has been fighting Stage IIIa Colon Cancer with mets since 2005. Here's the link to my blog:
    By the way, we are christians and former educators, so we also have that in common with you! Hope you have a better day today. Keep fighting!