Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Funny One-Liners

I have to post some of these one-liners. They are very funny--but so many of them are true too!!
1st a little update: yesterday I still had a lot of nausea, but made it thru work ok; rested for a few minutes, and helped Rachel set up her garage sale. It was really hot (90's for Pete's sake!!), so mom and I didn't stay too long. I turned on the a/c last night because I cannot sleep when its hot! Today is very hot also! I didn't sleep well last night anyway, but most of the nausea was gone, so that makes me feel MUCH better. I'm pretty tired now, but after a few minutes of rest (the phone never seems to stop ringing!), I'm going to try to stay awake until bedtime. Maybe I'll sleep better. And yes, my hair is thinning--slowly, I hope!! A wonderful co-worker provided supper tonight, so I didn't have to cook--THANK YOU!
Ok, on to the "jokes":
Don't let your worries get the best of you; Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited; Until you try to sit in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, But only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons Than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, But mosquitoes come close.
When you get to your wit's end, You'll find God lives there.
Quit griping about your church; If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If a church wants a better pastor, It only needs to pray for the one it has. God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' Are just sitting on the premises.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell. (One of my favorites!)
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you. (AMEN!!)
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given. (AMEN AGAIN!!!)
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tina,

    You really inspire me. You have such an upbeat attitude for everything you have been going through! I love these one liners. They are great! Congrats to Shonna on her acceptance to Bethel. That is great news! Still praying!