Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Tomorrow is the Big Day!

Zephaniah 3:17 says, "The LORD Your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing!"
I saw this verse in an e-mail today and it made me feel good; I hope it does the same for you!
Well, tomorrow starts part 2 of this walk with cancer. The surgery is over with, and I'm all healed and feeling great. Now its time for chemo. Its so hard to wrap my head around what the next 8 months could be like. I feel too good to have cancer! I felt the same way before the surgery. Shouldn't I hurt? Look sickly? Be frail? Well I feel great, but I will probably "look" more like a cancer patient after chemo starts! Why do I have to do this again? Why can't I just ignore it and go on with my life? Oh yeah, because the tumor could come back, and the cancer could spread, and that could be real bad. I have too much to live for--I'm only 44! One of my daughters is getting married next May--another one is graduating next June--the other one will someday (soon hopefully?)make me a grandma (whether thru childbirth, adoption, or foster care--it doesn't matter to me!). My husband and I need to have MANY more getaways to Duluth (and beyond)! I told Alyssa's fiance that when he came back from Iraq I would be cancer free--I plan to keep that promise!
So, what I do when I start getting crazy over all this is just what I did here--remind myself of all I have to live for, and I think about all the people I have praying for me. I KNOW God hears those prayers, and I KNOW He is with me, helping me. As scary as the next few months are, at least I won't walk thru this valley alone.
My "blog buddies", Carol and Michelle, have been giving me all kinds of advice and encouragement, so I'm as prepared as I can be. Rich will be with me through it all. He has been my rock--I am so blessed to have him with me!
I want to mention Shonna's audition tomorrow. I think I mentioned it before too, but I wasn't sure it was all going to work out. While I'm starting chemo, she will be downtown auditioning for the cable tv show "Gospel Dream", on the Gospel Music Channel. I think she's decided to do a Barlow Girl song. I'm excited and nervous for her! I always get nervous for my daughters whenever they are on stage--probably because I can't imagine being up there myself--I'm too chicken! I'm glad Shonna is doing this--the more auditioning experience the better. She'll be singing at church on Sunday too, at all 3 Easter services. I try not to be too excited--I used to cry everytime I saw her on stage! I'm getting more used to it now. :-)
Alyssa finally started her jigsaw puzzles. Her goal is to have all 10(?) of them done before Jaren comes back. I like to go down and help a little too. Alyssa is going out to see Jaren soon--he has a 4 day pass. He is still at Fort Lewis in WA. She's very excited! He's doing great--but wants to get to Iraq and get on with the mission! We are very proud of both of them.
I finished reading the first book in the Mitford series (by Jan Karon), and have the 2nd one reserved at the library. I'm hooked! There are a lot of books in the series, so they will keep me busy! While I'm waiting for the 2nd one to come in I'm reading some of the "Love Inspired" books I have. They are Christian romance books that I can usually get thru in a day or 2. I still want to get a paint-by-number to do also. Painting is relaxing, and its all planned out for me, so I don't have to try to be more creative than I am!
Well, I'll try to update tomorrow and let you all know how I'm doing. Round 1 shouldn't be too bad. I'm hoping to feel nothing more than a little tired and maybe queasy. Not too bad. I'm going to fill a pitcher with filtered water and leave it out on the counter so its room temp. And if thats too cold, then I'll put it in a cup and microwave it a little. I have some good herbal tea I can drink also. Tonight I'll be drinking lots of ice water and I'm trying to think of something yummy to eat! Hmmm.......I'll let you know! (How does a Peanut Buster Parfait for supper sound? I wonder if I can convince Rich??)
Take care everyone!

Love you all!


  1. I keep forgetting to ask who your Chemo buddy is (person who takes you to and from treatment, goes out to get you a lunch, etc.)?

    I drove myself twice and that was at the very end of my Chemo treatment. Wait to see how you will feel following treatment before you try this on your own.

    I never had any pain with my cancer and I never looked sickly even if I felt nauseas. Unless you tell people they will not know you have are a cancer patient. You can tell everyone you are a "soon to be" cancer survivor because you are gonna get through this and beat it!

    P.S. People didn't even notice the Chemo fanny pack hooked up to the port in my chest!

  2. I agree with Carol - you may not ever look like a "cancer patient". And, isn't that the point - you are a cancer survivor. You are a person, not to be defined by your cancer, just refined. You are, first and foremost, a wife, mother, teacher, and all the other things you WANT to be. You didn't WANT to be a cancer survivor, and yet, here you are.
    I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Know that I will be hoping and praying for you. And, know that we are here. Call/email with questions. Have hubby do the same - no worries.
    And, have a second PB Parfait for me, will ya? LOVE those! (That's one of the things I miss about MN - DQ and Target.....)
    Hugs coming your way!

  3. P.S. We went to DQ for the peanut buster parfait last night in your honor!