Enjoying Lazy Days

What a busy time last week was!  Thursday all the kids (3 girls and 2 spouses, and Brennan!) were here making cookies.  The girls get together here every year to make sugar cookies.  We do it the easy way and buy the Pillsbury dough, then shape them, bake, and decorate.  Decorating is the highlight.  I make butter cream frosting, and we have lots of sprinkles and such.  Alyssa, my mom, and I did a little shopping while Rachel was making the cookies.  When we got home Rich and Jaren were on the roof clearing off snow.  Alyssa was driving and when she saw her hubby up there she squealed and covered her eyes.  She didn't like seeing him up there--I hate it when Rich goes up there!  Next thing you know, Alyssa is up on the roof too!  Lots of prayers were said by me! Jaren jumped off into the huge pile of snow on the ground, after helping Alyssa down the ladder, and Rich carefully slid/jumped off!  After the cookies were done, we all ate pizza for dinner, then the kids headed home.  At the end of the day I was very tired, but very happy!  I am always amazed at how God has blessed me with such wonderful kids!
Friday (Christmas Eve), we all went to church together at 2pm.  We didn't go to Bridgewood, as their times didn't fit our schedule.  We went to our former church, North Heights, and got to see some of their Christmas production.  It was nice visiting there as they have wonderful productions, music, decorations and such, but I don't miss it.  Bridgewood is home now.  After church we had dinner (I make a simple spaghetti dinner) then we opened some presents.  Our tradition is the girls open their presents to each other, and Rich and I open our presents to each other.  When the kids were really little, Rich and I would open our gifts to each other after the girls went to bed, by the lights of the tree.
Christmas day started off with the kids coming back about 10am, and then they opened their stockings, we had cinnamon rolls, and they we opened the rest of our gifts.  My big gift this year was my new laptop, which I got about a week earlier.  Love it!!  I also got a Chronological Bible from Rich.  I plan to read through the Old Testament again, and I thought this might make more sense to me.  We'll see.  All the gifts Rachel bought for us this year were items that supported orphans, or the families trying to adopt them.  She gave me a pretty necklace.  Brennan was the highlight of the day.  He would help rip open a present now and then, but never really cared what the gift was!  He was happy and silly, and fun to watch!   The kids all dispersed about noon, then we met up again later at my brother's house for the family get-together.  We finished the day around 7:30 or 8. 
On Sunday church had only one service at 10, so no sleeping in then either.  Rich had to be there a little early in case they needed him for ushering. Alyssa, Rachel and I went shopping after church for some after Christmas sales.
Rich has this whole week off, and we have been doing a lot of shopping.  Using gift cards, and getting things we need at good sale prices.  I'm finding that going to more than one store at a time is too much for me, unless we are traveling between stores and I get a bit of a break in the car.  If I get too tired, Rich will drop me off at the door and pick me up again. Sometimes I just need to find a spot to sit for a bit, or wait in the car and let Rich run in by himself.  After we get home (usually late afternoon) I'm pretty much done for the day!
The mornings have been especially nice. I've been sleeping in, and taking it slow, and enjoying the mornings.  Rich has been taking it easy too--he needs that.  I'm glad he's getting some downtime. We head out around lunch time, get a bite to eat, then hit a few stores. 
I was thinking this morning how much I am enjoying this break.  I've been doing chemo, then rads (every day for 33 days!), then when radiation was done I so busy with Christmas stuff!  So Monday was the first day in a loooong time that I could really take it easy and just do fun stuff, or whatever I wanted!  So free feeling!  Finally! 
I've been very happy lately (although sometimes I'm sure I just look tired!).  Some people get depressed after they are all done.  There is such a whirlwind of activity for so many months, then it just all stops.  While going through treatment you don't always have time to really think about things.  Then when it's all over, you have too much time...and think too much.  It's hard to understand if you haven't been through it.  If you know someone who is going through cancer treatment, don't expect them to bounce back to "normal" right away.  They may never be back to the "normal" that you expect them to be.  They will be different; changed.  And it may take them awhile to move on.  Be patient, and just be there for them.  And never tell them to "get over it"!!!  You might get punched!
Although I have a little different perspective on things, I totally understand what others go through. And I can not say I never feel down or will never get depressed.  Right now I am just grateful for each day God gives me.  My life is in His hands.  None of us know how long we have.  Why waste time wishing for this or that?  Just count your blessings.  Do you have a roof over your head?  Heat?  Clothes?  Food?  Family and/or friends?  Then you are truly rich and blessed!  Help those that don't have those things.  And pray for them.
Speaking of those that don't have much, the country that Rachel and Ken are adopting from are NOT closing the adoptions!  Our prayers were answered!  Things can always change though, and we won't rest too easy until we have that little boy home with us.
Shonna and friends are down in KC at the Onething convention.  She'll be back on Sat.  Which is Alyssa's birthday.  Tomorrow we are watching Brennan for a little while in the afternoon.  It's been awhile since I actually babysat him.  We have a lot of new toys for him to play with!
Next Monday Rich goes back to work and I will try to put together some sort of schedule for myself.  I need to get back to reading God's word, exercise, and make a "to-do" list.  There are so many things I want to do, I need to list and prioritize them, or they won't get done!  There are things that have been put off for 2 YEARS! :)
On the medical front, I have my next MUGA (heart function) scan next Thursday.  Hoping and praying my heart function has increased with the new med I'm on so I can continue getting Herceptin.  I will see the doc the following Wed.(the 12th) to discuss the results and hopefully get my next Herceptin infusion.
Time for bed!

Good night and God bless!
Tina

Some Pics and an Update

The top pic is of me getting the "red devil" (Adriamycin) at my first chemo on June 14th.  The nurse has to slowly inject it into my port tubing.  It is a toxic drug and can cause a lot of damage if it should leak out of the vein.  That is why the nurse has to do it, instead of it hanging in an iv bag like the other chemo drugs.  Notice that she gets gown, gloves, and glasses, and I don't :).  This nurse is one of 2 that I usually have.  Her name is Andrea, and we just love her (well, we love them all!).  She is so perky and happy, and she reminds us of our niece Kyla.  We love to hear her stories about her toddler, and she loves to look at our pics of family, and especially Brennan!  I hope she can always stay positive--she is such a bright face in a place that can be so depressing.  I don't know how those nurses do it!  It's definitely a God-given gift!

The 2nd pic is a few days later when I got my new haircut.  Everyone seems to really like it.  On Facebook I joked how I paid $38 for a 10 day haircut, because it should be falling out soon.  I'm glad I tried something new first.  Gotta have a little fun, right?  And now I'll have less hair to fall out.

I have to say that I had some "down" days last week.  Not really depressed, just down.  I had so hoped that this chemo would be easier than my last stuff. But it really wasn't. Maybe I was a little less "out of it", but just barely, and this was only my first round.  Thank goodness I only have 4 rounds of this stuff, instead of 12 like last time!  I will have more chemo (Taxol) after these 4 rounds, but maybe that won't be as bad?  I think I've heard that its not--but with me, you never know!  My nausea has been there most every day, but thankfully, no vomiting.  Today was the first day I didn't need any anti-nausea meds.  The past few days I've just needed one.  I also have had more mouth sores.  It got to the point where my whole mouth felt pretty hacked up, but it didn't get too painful.  I've been pretty good about rinsing my mouth with baking soda and water.  Today my mouth seems to be getting better.

The day after chemo I had to get a Neulasta shot.  I had no bone pain at all from it--until yesterday!  I suppose that makes sense, because the shot works for 2 weeks, and now is the time in my chemo cycle when my white blood counts are taking a hit.  I took ibuprofen and Tylenol (and a claritin), and it didn't get too bad.  I will keep alternating the pills to stay ahead of the pain. 

We had Shonna's grad party on Sunday at our church.  My sister, Dee, and my friend, Heidi, did a TON of work for the party.  I had lots of other helpers too!  I was a little out of it, and had to sit a lot, but I'm very happy with how things turned out.  And glad its over with!  That was the last graduation for my hubby's family.  We have a few years to wait before the last one on my side!  Emma is going in to 6th grade, I think?

Well, I'm sure there was more I was going to write about, but can't think of what that might be.  I'm feeling good today, and hoping to have some more good days before round 2 on Monday.  There's so much to do!  I need to just accept that I won't be able to do much next week, and go with it.  Its when I try to fight it, and can't, that I start to feel depressed.  Cancer really sucks (I so hate that word, but nothing sounds as right).  I will try to remember to spend more time reading Psalms and reading my Bible verses that helped me so much last time.  Like I said before, I kept trying to fight the fatigue, instead of finding ways to make it through better.  Be warned, family!  I'll be taking to my room and doing what I have to, to get through this!  I know it sucks for them too.  I'm sure they're just as sick and tired of watching me be sick and tired, as I am feeling that way (did that make sense?).  But they are wonderful and strong and take good care of me!  Keep them in your prayers!

Love and blessings to you all!

Tina