Some Pics and an Update

The top pic is of me getting the "red devil" (Adriamycin) at my first chemo on June 14th.  The nurse has to slowly inject it into my port tubing.  It is a toxic drug and can cause a lot of damage if it should leak out of the vein.  That is why the nurse has to do it, instead of it hanging in an iv bag like the other chemo drugs.  Notice that she gets gown, gloves, and glasses, and I don't :).  This nurse is one of 2 that I usually have.  Her name is Andrea, and we just love her (well, we love them all!).  She is so perky and happy, and she reminds us of our niece Kyla.  We love to hear her stories about her toddler, and she loves to look at our pics of family, and especially Brennan!  I hope she can always stay positive--she is such a bright face in a place that can be so depressing.  I don't know how those nurses do it!  It's definitely a God-given gift!

The 2nd pic is a few days later when I got my new haircut.  Everyone seems to really like it.  On Facebook I joked how I paid $38 for a 10 day haircut, because it should be falling out soon.  I'm glad I tried something new first.  Gotta have a little fun, right?  And now I'll have less hair to fall out.

I have to say that I had some "down" days last week.  Not really depressed, just down.  I had so hoped that this chemo would be easier than my last stuff. But it really wasn't. Maybe I was a little less "out of it", but just barely, and this was only my first round.  Thank goodness I only have 4 rounds of this stuff, instead of 12 like last time!  I will have more chemo (Taxol) after these 4 rounds, but maybe that won't be as bad?  I think I've heard that its not--but with me, you never know!  My nausea has been there most every day, but thankfully, no vomiting.  Today was the first day I didn't need any anti-nausea meds.  The past few days I've just needed one.  I also have had more mouth sores.  It got to the point where my whole mouth felt pretty hacked up, but it didn't get too painful.  I've been pretty good about rinsing my mouth with baking soda and water.  Today my mouth seems to be getting better.

The day after chemo I had to get a Neulasta shot.  I had no bone pain at all from it--until yesterday!  I suppose that makes sense, because the shot works for 2 weeks, and now is the time in my chemo cycle when my white blood counts are taking a hit.  I took ibuprofen and Tylenol (and a claritin), and it didn't get too bad.  I will keep alternating the pills to stay ahead of the pain. 

We had Shonna's grad party on Sunday at our church.  My sister, Dee, and my friend, Heidi, did a TON of work for the party.  I had lots of other helpers too!  I was a little out of it, and had to sit a lot, but I'm very happy with how things turned out.  And glad its over with!  That was the last graduation for my hubby's family.  We have a few years to wait before the last one on my side!  Emma is going in to 6th grade, I think?

Well, I'm sure there was more I was going to write about, but can't think of what that might be.  I'm feeling good today, and hoping to have some more good days before round 2 on Monday.  There's so much to do!  I need to just accept that I won't be able to do much next week, and go with it.  Its when I try to fight it, and can't, that I start to feel depressed.  Cancer really sucks (I so hate that word, but nothing sounds as right).  I will try to remember to spend more time reading Psalms and reading my Bible verses that helped me so much last time.  Like I said before, I kept trying to fight the fatigue, instead of finding ways to make it through better.  Be warned, family!  I'll be taking to my room and doing what I have to, to get through this!  I know it sucks for them too.  I'm sure they're just as sick and tired of watching me be sick and tired, as I am feeling that way (did that make sense?).  But they are wonderful and strong and take good care of me!  Keep them in your prayers!

Love and blessings to you all!

Tina

Here's to Many "Lasts"

2 recent pictures of my grandson!

Friday I had my 5FU chemo pump removed for the last time, and took my last shower where I had to tape up my port with Glad Press N Seal! Yesterday I happily removed the hook from the wall near the shower where I hung my pump. I hated toting that thing around. I was always getting the tubing stuck on the kitchen drawer handles and such.
Saturday I did my last Neupogen shot. I had one left, so the doc said I may as well use it. We know that my wbc will drop, so this one shot will help keep them up a little and protect me from illness. My platelets were still low too, so they will be dropping lower after this last chemo. I'll have to remember to be careful the next week or 2 until they start coming back up.
It will be a long time (4 months!) before I get my blood checked again. I wish I could get it checked sooner, just so I would know that all my levels went back up.
Today is a crappy day. Woke up with nausea--I think I forgot to take my Zofran last night. Finally managed to have some oatmeal, warm oj, and coffee. Now I'm starting to feel yucky again--I'll probably take an Ativan soon. After eating and some coffee, I had just enough energy to take a quick shower, but it really tired me out!
I feel bad that I couldn't go to church--Shonna is singing with the worship team, and also doing the offering song. Rich and Alyssa are recording it for me on my new camcorder Rich gave me for Christmas. I hope all is going well! She gets nervous sometimes, but always does great once she starts singing. I don't know if I've said this before, but next Fall she is going to a music school run by The International House of Prayer (aka IHOP) in Kansas City. She wants to see what God has in store for her, and has no idea where it will take her. I find it very exciting, and am very proud of her for stepping out in faith like that.
Rachel's hubby left on a business trip today, so she will be taking care of Brennan on her own for a few days. Of course she knows she can always bring the little guy over here if she needs a break or a nap! Brennan still doesn't sleep much, he eats often. But he is 11 pounds now! A little chunker! :)
Alyssa's hubby should be home sometime this week!! We are so excited! He's in the US, but had to do some Sargent training before he came home. I think he's back in Fort Lewis, WA. He was in Utah for the training. We all want to see him right away, but we are going to let him decide when he's ready to see everyone. He may need some time to adjust to being home..and he and Alyssa probably need some time alone together! We haven't seen him since June. Speaking of "lasts" hopefully this will be Jaren's last deployment!
Even tho today is a yucky day, it makes it easier to handle knowing that I only have a few more days of this, and then I'll start feeling better for good! Not for just a week, then back to sick again!
I just hope I can get my strength back in the next few weeks for work. So much to do....
I hope this makes some sort of sense, and there are not too many errors! I'm too tired to proof read it again.
Take care everyone!
Love,
Tina

Mild Nausea

I've been having mild nausea off and on all day. This is unusual for the day after chemo. Its not too bad, but kept me awake early this morning. I finally got up around 5 am to eat some applesauce, then took an Ativan. Stayed awake for awhile and went back to bed about 6:30. Got back up about 8:30. The nausea didn't stay away too long. I've taken my Zofran, Decadron, Emend, and compazine. Now its time to take my Zofran and Decadron again.
I also took a hour nap this afternoon, but am really tired again. I think I'll go back to bed and read for awhile, til I can't keep my eyes open any longer! Rich should be home soon from a class at church, and he'll probably want to get to bed pretty early too.
I should get my pump removed around noon tomorrow--can't wait! It's so nice to know that I may never have to have it again!
I have one more Emend to take tomorrow. I'm hoping the nausea will go away. I can handle the extreme fatigue so much better without the nausea.
I doubt I'll be able to make it to church on Sunday, which makes me sad. Not only is Shonna singing with the worship team, but she told me she is doing the offering song as well. I'll have Rich record it for me, but I'll be there myself it at all possible. Everyone is welcome to come to Bridgewood!
But, I have to keep in mind that in less than a week I'll be feeling better, and won't ever have to go through this again (God willing!). Its an awesome thought, and I will be clinging to that the next few days!
Take care everyone!
Tina

Eating Nilla Wafers...

and trying to ward off the nausea that's been getting worse since last evening. I've taken my Zofran and Decadron, but not Compazine or Ativan yet. The cookies are helping a little. Also feeling very tired. I did manage to get a shower and even slapped on some mascara, but I'll probably head back to bed soon. At least just to rest and maybe listen to some relaxing music and look at the pretty leaves out the window.
Its 11:50 and the poor dog hasn't been out yet! She seems to know when I'm not feeling well, and is staying curled up in her bed not bothering me to take her out. Rich went into work for awhile, Shonna hasn't emerged from her room yet, and Alyssa woke up with a sore throat. It may be up to me to bundle up and take her out. Can you believe there is snow on the ground?? WAY to early !!! October is usually my favorite month--hope it warms up soon. Such an odd year.
We think Shonna had/has the flu. I talked to the nurse at our clinic (they didn't want her to come in!), and she was pretty sure its the flu, probably H1N1. I wasn't sure at the time whether or not Shonna had a fever. She was at class and said she felt feverish, but when she came home her temp was normal--so maybe its not the flu? She felt worse the day before. It came on quickly, she had a stuffy head, backache and headache, really bad sore throat, and a cough. Every symptom except the fever, so I think its the flu, just a mild case. She's been staying in her room mostly, to keep me from getting sick. The clinic won't give her Tamiflu; they are keeping it for those that really need it. If I start to show flu symptoms, I can get Tamiflu right away to help me fight it.
This morning Alyssa woke up with a bad sore throat! I'm sure standing out in the cold last night at the football game didn't help any! She's one of the cheerleading coaches so she has to be there for the whole game. At least our team has been winning! Yay!
I have just a few days left of my Lovenox shots (blood thinner). I've got huge bruises all over my stomach. One is really bad and has a big lump under it. The oncologist felt it and said it must have bed under the skin for awhile. It'll eventually reabsorb.
Baby update: Brennan finally started gaining weight! He was having a tough time keeping his feeds down, but now he's up to 4 lbs! He's 2 weeks old today. Haven't seen him since Sunday :( I'll try to get down there later this week when I'm feeling better. The next few days I probably won't be leaving the house. Rachel is doing very well also! She is off the blood pressure meds and doesn't have any restrictions other than lifting too much. God is really watching over them!
Love and blessings!
Tina

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well, I am 45 now--getting old! :-) I told Rich not to do anything special; we might go out Friday for steak, if I'm feeling up to it. Its ok if this birthday goes by without much fanfare--but wait til next year! I'll be cancer free and ready to celebrate another year of life!
I've had a little more pain today--so didn't cut back on those pain pills yet, and some nausea which I think is from all the meds. I'm also more tired than yesterday. But overall, not too bad!
I think I'm going to try to get to Target with Alyssa. We are seriously behind on our grocery shopping. Lys and Rich have been trying to get there for days now, but something always comes up, so maybe she and I can finally get it done.
I'm glad the docs gave me a week off before I have to start again--my body really needed this break. I think mentally I needed it too--to help me prepare for the months that lie ahead. The part of me that says "I can do it!" is becoming stronger, and the fear is starting to fade (a little!) With God ALL things are possible!
Love and blessings!!
Tina

Tummy Aches

I've been feeling pretty yucky the last few days. Lots of tummy cramps. Nothing so bad that I have to take Immodium (I don't think that helps the cramping part anyways), but I have taken a Pepto Bismol now and then, and I'm trying to eat more bananas and "binding" foods. No fresh fruit or veggies. I think I should make an appt. with the dietician at Regions. I can see one while I'm down there for radiation. I was told I can eat cooked veggies, but I wasn't sure about corn on the cob. I ate 2 the other day (yum!), and my tummy started hurting after that and has been hurting since (I ate it on Sat.). So, these are things the dietician could tell me. I've been more tired too--but my hemoglobin and other red blood cells counts are low. Hemoglobin was 9.2 today--9.5 last week. I've never been this low except maybe after Shonna was born--but I don't remember how low I was then, just that I had lost a lot of blood so the doc expected it to be low. I asked the nurse today if she knew how low it has to be for them to give me blood and she said "in the eights"--so I'm pretty close to that!
I did find out that this chemo drug (5FU) does cause low white and red blood cells counts. I thought it was just white blood cells I had to worry about! My white blood cells and platelets are all just fine, thank God!
I've been having a little more nausea too. I mentioned before that I had to take one of my pills on Friday, and I took another one today. Over the weekend I just felt a little yucky at times--not bad enough to take anything.
To anyone that has a port, or central line that needs to be flushed with saline--it REALLY helps to plug your nose. You can breathe thru your mouth, but don't unplug until the nurse is completely done flushing the line. I got very little of that yucky taste today. Last week I unplugged in the middle of it and got the full hit. I felt sick the rest of the day, and couldn't get that taste out of my mouth. I don't think everyone is as affected by it as I am, but don't take the chance!
I have a nice, red, bumpy rash around my port. Its been itching a little from the dressing that covers it, but it got really bad when the nurse put extra plastic tape around it last Thursday. So today, the nurse just put a clear plastic covering over it. Its not much different than saran wrap. Hopefully this won't itch as bad!
All in all, this is still better than chemo, but I wish the cramping would stop! I wasn't prepared to be lazin' around--I thought I'd be feeling well enough to keep busy most of this summer!
Thanks for your prayers!
Love to all!
Tina

Less Nausea

Yes, I'll talk to the doc tomorrow! I see him at 8:50, after having my blood drawn. I just figured each day would get better, so I didn't really need to talk to him until my appt. If I had known I'd be sick so long, I would have called, really. I have less nausea today, but feel very "out-of-it" and woozy. I even fell over getting out of the chair! (hurt my knee a little, but nothing major!) Knowing I am getting close to 2 weeks since my last chemo (Friday) I thought I should take my temp., because it seems it always goes up, and I end up with low white blood cells. Sure enough, my temp is 100. So that is part of the reason I feel crappy! Last time my doc tried to come up with all these other reasons I might have a fever, but its just the low counts. Maybe I'm unusual that I get a fever everytime? I'm guessing I'll have to do a neupogen shot, but since I'm not having chemo in awhile, I should be fine after that.
I'm curious to see how the 5fu affects me without the oxaliplatin. I know the oxa stuff causes the cold sensation, but I don't know which one causes more nausea. The nurses think I'll do better w/o the oxalip. We shall see!
Rich was gone to AZ for a short business trip since Sun. He got back today. He really didn't want to go, and told his boss awhile ago that he wasn't going to go on any trips while I was sick, but the project needed him, and I told him I'd be fine...this was a good time for him to go. And he's even back in time for my dr. appt. But I sure did miss him!!! I think it was good for him to have a break and not have to look at me lay around for a couple of days! I told him to think of some things he can do just for himself while I'm sick. He did get some books about building bird houses. We just may end with a big bird sanctuary here when he's all done!!
On a VERY sad note--my cousin Joe died Sunday morning. I still can't believe it. Only 50 yrs old, something to do with his heart, but very unexpected. Please pray for his wife and kids, and his brother and parents. They are my God parents and have been so good to me (I keep my "special" blanket with me all the time, it really soothes me). I wish I had something that could soothe them. I've been praying for them all day, and will continue to do so as long as God brings them to my mind. Love you guys, hang in there, and hold on tight to Jesus! I'll do my best to make it Friday to give you a BIG HUG!
Well, hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight. I don't believe God causes bad things to happen, but sometimes he allows it, and we may never understand why.
God Bless you all!
Tina

Tired of Nausea

So, Friday was an ok day, like I posted. Was able to get out and do a few things. One would think that meant each day would get a little better. Well, I certainly thought wrong. Yesterday I started out in the morning with nausea, and it pretty much stayed with me all day. I was able to sit on the couch with the laptop, and read a little, so at least it wasn't a bed-ridden day. Today is pretty much the same. I had my pump removed last Sunday, so I thought I would be better by now! Ate some applesauce and crackers in bed, and took my meds. Glad Rich and the girls made it to church. Sounds like I missed some good worship. I will probably listen to the sermon online later.
Rich is gone most of the day, so I'm going to take the Sunday paper and computer back to bed. Awhile ago, while everyone was at church, I found that I had fallen asleep sitting up in bed with crackers on my lap! So, I'm thinking I'll be sleeping more than reading! That is mostly because of the Ativan. I try to just take 1 at a time to spread them out, but I'm so tired of nausea right now, that I'd rather take 2 and sleep.
Wed. I get my blood drawn again, and see the oncologist. I'll talk to him about the nausea, because I know there are other drugs out there (Emmend, Reglan), that might help. (or because I'm not actually vomiting, I should just put up with this?) But now we'll have to wait and see how sick the 5FU makes me, because I won't have the Oxaliplatin again until after radiation which will be around the end of July. I'm not sure which chemo drug causes more nausea, or if it is the combo of the 2.
Right now I just want to get thru another day, and pray that tomorrow is at least a little better!
Love you all! And thanks for your prayers!!
Tina

Takin' a Little Longer....

Its taking me a little longer than I hoped to feel better. I figured Tues. would be the worst, then each day improve a little. But yesterday was the worst, so far. I stayed in bed pretty much ALL day. Not even a shower! The tiredness was there, but its the nausea that really makes me feel yucky. Not feeling much better today. I've taken 2 anti-nausea meds so far, and soon I'll take some more. I am trying to give the other ones time to work, because the next ones I take will make me sleepy and I was trying to avoid them. I guess I am doing a little better today, because I did shower already!
I wish food would taste better! An empty stomach makes me feel worse, but nothing is appealing to me so its hard to want to eat.
I'm trying to stay positive, because this is the last chemo treatment in awhile, and once I start feeling better,I know it'll last for awhile. The problem is I'm impatient and want to start feeling better NOW! But it'll come. I know it could be so much worse. There's just so much I want to do! And it does scare me a little(alot?) when I think ahead to my next 8 treatments after radiation. I guess I shouldn't let myself think about what that might be like...just take each day as it comes, right? *sigh*
Today is a big day for my youngest. Its Shonna's last day of 11th grade, and since she's going to college next year full time, its her last day at the high school! Congrats Baby Girl!!! I hope she keeps in touch with all her friends(she has some awesome friends!), and doesn't miss out on the fun "senior" stuff next year. We are hoping she can join the Bethel choir too, but don't know much about that yet. Now we just have to figure out where she should go to college after next year! She, of course, would like to go to some famous, well-known, college, like Harvard or something. Keep dreaming honey! :) She'll go wherever she gets the most scholarships for!
Rachel is 15 weeks pregnant now, and has really popped out! She can already feel the baby move a little too. Its sooo exciting! Her and Ken are going to Duluth for their 2nd anniversary.
Alyssa is busy with cheerleading tryouts (she's asst. coach at the high school next year), and getting ready for Jaren's visit. He's coming home on leave in a few weeks(yay!!). She's a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding soon too, so she has some planning to do for that. She still has not found a regular job, but I believe that is God's plan, because I really rely on her here to help me. She gets me anything I need, helps Rich with groceries (he's clueless! {love you honey!}), and makes to-do lists for him. I love it!! Last night she had a list for him to do when he got home from work, and he did it all--cleaned the sink and did dishes, took out garbage, and killed a spider! Poor guy didn't have a chance to sit hardly. AND she plans movie nights for us. She's waiting until I feel well enough to watch Pinocchio. The funny thing is she doesn't ask--she just stands the movie up on top of the tv and then we know what we'll be watching that evening! (watch out Jaren--she'll soon be yours!!)
I am so blessed! I feel better already just writing about my girls, and writing about how I'm feeling.
Well, just got off the phone with my mom (she's up north with my brother), talked to Alyssa for awhile (she's off somewhere-busy, busy), and then Rachel and Ken stopped by on their way to Duluth (I poked her belly, tee-hee)! Also got an e-mail from work about my assignment for next year, and now I can't wait to go back. Never realized how much I'd miss it!
I'm obviously feeling better than yesterday! Thank you God!!
I think I'm gonna try making some rice--or maybe soup? Something simple and warm. :)
Thanks for the continued prayers!
Love,
Tina

More on Round 4

Hi Everyone!
Today is one of the rough days. Been sleeping most of it. I think its weird when I'm already drifting off in the recliner before noon! Finally went back to bed and slept most of the afternoon. Nausea is present too, altho not too bad at the moment. I also am getting very light-headed when I get up; don't know what's causing that.

The weekend was pretty good. Had my pump removed yesterday. Sat. I was able to get out grocery shopping with Rich, and we had Culver's for lunch. Yesterday I was more tired, but sat outside a lot. Felt pretty yucky by bedtime, but slept well.

Now I've got a few days of yuck to get thru, and then I should start to feel better! As always, I'm looking forward to cold stuff--or even cool at this point!

I miss everyone at school! Thanks for the meals, snacks, and e-mails! Keep in touch over the summer!
Take care everyone!
Love,
Tina

Round 3 Blahs

Today is a little better. Yesterday was the worst day of this cycle, I think. Very tired, layed in bed alot looking out the windows and listening to the birds. Lots of nausea (but thankfully no vomiting yet!). Its hard to explain the tiredness. At times its just impossible to move your body. Every movement wears you out. Rich did some dishes, and it was so hard not to go show him how to do things "correctly". I just layed in bed and was thankful they were getting done at all! Thank you honey for helping out! He's been helping his dad out too with yard work. Another burden he does not need, but I'm proud of him for doing it. I wish the 2 of us could just escape somewhere until this is all over. No job pressures, no family pressures, just us. Of course I wouldn't be happy if the kids were too far away!
Its a gorgeous day today! Supposed to hit 80! I love the springtime colors and birds. They soothe me. I'm going to go lay down for awhile (1 of my anti-nausea drugs makes me sleepy!), then hopefully sit outside for a bit.
Rachel is having a garage sale on Thurs., Fri., and Sat. She's in the Willow Creek area of Shoreview--stop by to say hi. I'll be there after 2:30 Thurs., and Fri. We'll have a trumpet, aquarium, lawn mower, and lots of clothes and household!
A friend from work will be delivering supper tonight--perfect day for it! We still have gift cards, and frozen items for other dinners. I should feel like cooking in a day or 2 (maybe :-). Thanks to everyone for helping us out. We REALLY appreciate it.
Love you all!
Tina

Round 3 Update

Hi!
Just a little update to let you all know how its going.
The "blahs" have kicked in. Had a hard time getting out of bed, and have been moving slow ever since! A bit more nausea today, have taken several different pills, and its better now (altho never completely gone!). Rich and I went out for lunch--unfortunately nothing tasted very good, but it was nice to be out of the house! Took a nap when we got back (with a little help from the Ativan pill!), and then watched an old Elvis movie. Rich has been putzing around the yard all day. Usually I'd keep him company, but I just don't have the energy, and its very chilly(only 53 now!) and super windy--so I'd have to wear the scarf and mittens! Hopefully this will be the last time its will be this chilly!? Tomorrow should be mid 60's and then 70's after that--yay!

I'm anticipating tomorrow to be worse, and maybe even Monday worse yet, because that's how it was last time. But I do know that each time can be different, so maybe it won't be so bad. I'll be praying about it too. God always gives me His peace when I take the time to talk with Him. Here is a passage from a friend's calendar that she sent me in an e-mail:

Trusting God completely means
having faith that He knows what is best for your life.
You expect Him to keep His promises, help you with problems,
and do THE IMPOSSIBLE when necessary.

The Lord your God is the faithful God
who for a thousand generations keep His promises.
Deuteronomy 7:9 tlb

I do trust God completely! And am so thankful for His love and mercy. It amazes me everyday!

I have been praying for some others I have found thru blogs that have colon cancer also. Some really have it rough. Their faith and strength are an inspiration to me to continue to be strong and fight. I'm young to have colon cancer (44), but one young gal is only only 19, and a few others are in their 20's and 30's and have young children. I pray for them often! So many stories start with a doc telling them they are too young for a colonoscopy, and then they waste time searching for other problems, and sometimes even being treated for other things, like colitis. By the time the doc (or a different, wiser doc) does the test, the cancer has spread! So, I BEG you--if you have bowel problems (any bleeding at all, or changes in bowel habits) DON'T WAIT! Insist on getting a colonoscopy. Its an easy procedure-- not bad at all!

Take care everyone!
Love and blessings to you!
Tina

Lovely Friday!

Glad its Friday! Today I was tired, but other than that, ok! I slept (w/o meds) until 2:30, and then slept off and on after that. Not too bad over-all. I still am taking 1 of my nausea meds regularly, and others as needed. I had to take an Ativan after work, because it just all of a sudden hit me. Had felt fine before that! Rested a little after work, but didn't sleep. Rich came home a little early and was doing yard work, so I went and sat in the sun and watched him. That's my favorite past-time->watching my husband do yardwork!! I finally picked up some sticks and then spread some plant food on the gardens. Its exciting to see all the little green sprouts coming up already. I don't have many spring plants, but there are alot of other things starting to grow.
These days are the best. I have 4 days (hopefully good ones!) before I have to do chemo round 3. There are so many things I want to get done before I feel sick again. The neat thing is everything is so exciting to me! Partly because of the "big picture", meaning I'm happy to be alive to enjoy every little thing, and partly b/c of the "small picture", meaning I feel like I'm waking up from a deep sleep and I only have a few days to enjoy everything. I don't know if that makes sense. Suffice it to say that pretty much everything makes me happy and excited!!
My cup overfloweth with blessings. 2 wonderful ladies at work gave me a basket of treats, and a big pot of Pansies today. It really brightened my day. And I know I've said this before, but I can't wait to pay it forward! I'm even clipping recipes that I think would be good to make for others when they need a meal--so someday I'll be on that list of people to ask to make someone a meal! I'm not exactly "Susie homemaker", so I sort of stayed in the background instead of jumping in and volunteering for meals. Prayer and encouragement are more my "thing". That and the fact that my own 3 children kept me very busy and were at times more than I could handle!
Busy day tomorrow. Probably more yard work, but more importantly, we have to pick up Alyssa's wedding dress!! I know the wedding is a year away, but she found the "perfect one" and had to have it! I can't wait to see it again. Then we are going to eat lunch at Eddington's (all you can eat breadsticks, oh and good soup too!), and after that I think we are going to stop at 1/2 price books to check out their big sale. Sounds like a fun day doesn't it? Its supposed to be in the 60's and sunny, so maybe I can leave my gloves at home! I've had to wear them all the time I was outside today, even tho it was near 60. My fingers really tingle easily this round.
Well, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!! Enjoy God's beautiful creation, and spend time with loved ones!
Love,
Tina

Hanging in There!

Well, today is definitely better. There is still some nausea, but not nearly as bad as yesterday. I'm still very sleepy, and that is made worse by the meds. I took every drug I had today (with the doc's ok!), and had hoped to feel even better--but I can handle this. The Oncologist called this morning to see how I was doing. That makes me feel good to have the doc himself call, and not just the nurse; makes me feel like I'm in good hands.
I can't believe how much I slept yesterday, and even slept through most of the night (only 1 potty-break!). I NEVER sleep like that. I think it must be the chemo and not just because I don't feel well. Unfortunately, the chemo seems to affect me more after a few days. I've heard of that happening to others as well.
Ugh--listening to the news--this swine flu stuff is scary--usually I ignore this type of stuff, but I really can't afford to get the least bit sick. I may not survive it. Not a pleasant thought. Oh well, its in God's hands anyway, right? OK, now that I remembered that I feel better! See how this journaling stuff helps?
Thanks to my wonderful sister, and Renee from church, my fridge is FULL! Thank you, Thank you! We won't need a meal for awhile, and we'll save money by not being tempted to get something from a restaurant. I wish people knew my sister as well as I do--she goes way above and beyond anyone I know when it comes to helping others. And she just does it, and most of the time no one even knows it. There will be alot of saints in heaven to great her someday to thank her for getting them there. Love you Dee! (and I'm sure she's very uncomfortable with this right now--but that's what little sisters are for!!!)
I've been trying to stay awake for awhile, but its time for more meds and a nap! I would like to read, but feel to woozy to focus on a book. Listening to some good praise music might be just the thing.
Craig or Mary--tell mom I got her message, but have been to sick to talk on the phone--let her read my blog please-thanks! Hope you are well up there!!
Love to all!
Tina

Not So Good

Hey everyone,
Just an update, in case you're checkin'. Today has been a rough day. I called the doc and got a new prescription for nausea, but only took it about half an hour ago, so I hope it works! Its Ativan, and I've heard good things about it, but its supposed to make me tired. That's about all I've done all day is sleep! I'm taking tomorrow off work too, because I don't think this is going to magically disappear overnight, and I'm not sure if I can work with this new med. I have to wait and see how it affects me.
Wed., Thurs. and Fri., I felt pretty good. Sat. I started having some nausea, but was still able to sit outside and even rake a little (with a scarf and gloves!). Things started getting worse yesterday, and I can only hope that the new med will work for me so I can start feeling better soon!
Thanks for your prayers!
Take care!
Tina

Grumble

Ok, I HAVE to complain! This cold thing is ridiculous!! I wore gloves to take Sadie out in 60 degree weather, then decided since I'm feeling mostly "ok", and its so beautiful out, I would do a few minutes of garden raking, just to get it started. I took my jacket off, cuz I was starting to sweat, but noticed after I started breathing heavy that my throat was getting sore from the cool air! When I went in to get a drink (warm apple juice) my throat and lips felt tight. Ugh! I have to wear slippers on the cool bathroom and kitchen floor, wear gloves to take anything out of the fridge, and even the cans in the cupboard are cool enough to make my fingers tingle. Anything metal is too cool--even my eyelash curler! What I found to be really painful was taking the cold clothes out of the wash machine to put them in the dryer!! Alyssa is going to have to do that from now on! My fingers had that pins and needles feeling for about 20 minutes after--even after running them under warm water.
Needless to say, I'm learning to be very careful. I now make sure I wait for the water to warm up before washing my hands, or taking a drink.
Other than that, I'm not doing too bad. I joked that I'm glad I feel well enough to be so annoyed, and most of the time I'm actually chuckling at the weirdness of it all.
Another new side effect is my calves and hands seem to stiffen up occasionally, making me have to do a funny shuffle walk. And as for sleeping--it took a long time to get to sleep because of the steroids, so I came out to the recliner to let Rich sleep. I think I fell asleep by 1 or so, not too bad! The pharmacy didn't have my prescription sleeping med, so that wasn't an option last night. They should have it today.
The Oncologist called me last night, and after reviewing my labs decided I should take some iron pills, so he called in a scrip for that. I have to wait a few days to take them, until my tummy feels ok, and then try and take them 3 times a day. He said I should take them between meals with apple juice--they work best that way. I've always taken them with meals because they are hard on the stomach, so we'll see how it goes.
I took my Zolfran about 6:45am, then stayed in bed until 7:30, got up and ate 2 cinnamon rolls and apple juice, then took the steroid pill. It seemed to work pretty well. I started feeling nauseous after raking (more from being hungry than the activity, I think), so I took a Compazine and had some crackers and more apple juice. I got tired of warm cherry Kool-aid! Now I'm going to take it easy for awhile, feeling a little tired and woozy, and still hungry, but not sure what to eat. I kinda want a bologna sandwich, but not sure if that would be too cold to eat? I don't feel like eating anything else, and don't want anything with sugar--had too much of that for breakfast! Maybe oatmeal...
Rachel came over and made some Fettucine Alfredo--so I'm going to go eat that!
Take care everyone!
Love,
Tina

Round 2 Begins

It was a long day! Got to Regions at 8:27 am, but for some reason everyone there was a little behind already. At least they acknowledged it and apologized, and its not like I had anywhere else to go! We didn't get home until almost 2:30.
My numbers all look ok, only the hemoglobin is still a little low--10.8 (10.9 last time). We talked with the doc alot about the sleeplessness and nausea, and EXACTLY how and when to take my anti-nausea meds. I will still take the Decadron (steroid), but only until Sat. The nurse said to take 9 doses total--which should put me at Sat. afternoon. I got a new scrip for Zolfran, which I'm very happy about. I can take it first thing in the morning without food or water! It dissolves in the mouth. Then I stay in bed for about a 1/2 hour and take the steroid with a little food. I still have Compazine also, to take as needed for nausea.
The doc gave me a scrip for a sleep med too. Its a 1/2 dose, so if I find myself awake in the middle of the night, I can take it and not worry about being too sleepy in the morning. Also, I can take 2 if I think I need a stronger dose.
I found out alot about this steroid--which they also give me with Zolfran thru my port before chemo. The bad side effects are: jitteryness, sleeplessness, and goofy heartbeat (its the "fight or flight" reaction, intensified!). The good side effects are: it should help my allergies, and it takes away my elbow pain--which had been pretty bad!
All in all, I think I have a better idea how to stay on top of my side effects. So I'm feeling hopeful! Of course, that may end when the nausea starts!!
So far my hands and arms feel very weak, and the cold sensitivity has kicked in big time! Standing outside with the dog in 60 degree weather my hands started to tingle and I could feel the coolness in my throat! So I have to be extra careful this time! I started getting the yucky tummy during chemo, but after eating a few crackers I feel better, and have been snacking since! Hopefully the nausea will hold off at least until tomorrow morning, like last time.
Well, I still have a few things I want to get done while I still can--so better get moving!
Thanks for checking in--and remember GOD IS GOOD!! (all the time--sing it with me!)
Love,
Tina