Scans and Such

Well, I've had just about every part of my body scanned recently!  I hope that's done for a while!
Last Friday I had to repeat the ultrasound I had back in June to look at my fistula.  When I went to see my surgeon about it on Tues., she didn't have the results!  She finally talked to a dr. (the "head honcho", as she called him) who read the scan to her over the phone.  He only had 4 pictures and they weren't very good.  He wanted to repeat the ultrasound, and do it himself.  After talking with my surgeon he knew my background and exactly what she was looking for.  I was very polite, and agreed, but I was SO BUMMED!  I cried a little when I got out to the car, was mad at God, and used all 8 cylinders in the truck on my way home (nobody got in my way that day!).  The ultrasound is a difficult test for me, causes pain and discomfort, and I really just hate it.  I can't fully explain why, because that is just TMI.  But I hope I never have to have that again!  When I called my surgeon's clinic to schedule another appt. with her after having the repeat scan done, they wanted to schedule me 4-6 weeks out.  Umm, no.  They were able to get me in this Thurs., less than a week after the scan. ;)  
Monday I had my MRI, to check for breast cancer, and today (Tues.) I had my ct scans and lab work.  Most of my labs are done already, and I can check them online.  So far, they all look good! My oncology nurse had a difficult time get blood from my port, so I had to let some "cath-flo" (draino like stuff) sit in there for about half an hour, then it worked fine.  Sometimes little flaps develop in the port line and they let stuff in (like saline) but the flap closes when drawing blood out.  The cath-flo eats that away and clears the line. It sure was nice having the port the past few days though.  It was used for my MRI, labs, and CT scan. No big ugly bruises on my arm, and relatively little pain!  
The bad part about the CT scan is that the yucky, horrible contrast I have to drink really messes up my stomach for the rest of the day.  Lots of gurgling and discomfort.  Oh well, by tomorrow I should be fine.
Now I wait for results. Thurs. I'll find out what we can do about the fistula, and next Tues. I'll see my onc and get the results of my scans.  They'll be all clear, I'm sure!
Even with all the strife and discomfort of the last week or so, I've been very happy.  I've been getting out for walks, now that the weather is cooler, and loving the exercise and the beautiful world God created for us.  I've felt very connected to my Lord lately, growing in my trust and faith.  I rarely worry about a recurrence, although I have been saddened that others I know have progressed to stage 4.  I do wonder sometimes if it will happen to me, but most of the time (75%?) I feel as though I've been healed and will never have cancer again (which would be a miracle, given my "young" age for both cancers).  No matter what happens though, I will continue to trust in God!
The rest of the fam is doing well--mom and Shonna are headed up north with my sister, and Alyssa and her husband.  Rich and I will have the house to ourselves woo-hoo!  :)  We had a great time recently in Duluth with our kids and grandkids.  I love having everyone together like that!
Life is good people--get out and enjoy it while you can!!
Love and blessings!
Tina

The Holiday Season is Upon Us!

I can't believe Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Christmas is quickly approaching!  I feel like I'm behind already!  You'd think this would be a normal feeling for me, since I am always behind, but I wish I could be ahead just one Christmas season.  Well, it's still early (not even December yet!), so maybe I'll catch up.
I do love this time of year though--a national day just for giving thanks to God, and of course Christmas, the celebration of the birth of God's greatest gift--our savior Jesus!  I hope everyone takes the time to soak in the meaning of the season.  Don't rush through and miss the beauty of it all!
We had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!  We've been having it here, at our house, the past few years, with our kids and grandkids, and usually my sister too.  It's very nice.  Everyone brings something, and my turkeys have been turning out PERFECT!  That's a big deal to me, because years ago, as a young wife and mom, I tried to make a turkey and it didn't turn out.  I cried.  My wonderful, patient, husband ran up to the store to buy some deli chicken to go with the rest of the meal I had prepared.  I said I'd never cook another turkey! Well, about 20 years later, I thought I'd give it another shot, and it turned out great!
This was Charlie's 1st Thanksgiving!   He is getting to be such a big boy!  He has physical, occupational, and speech therapy privately and through preschool.  He is learning to crawl, stand, and walk.  All his muscles are being worked--including core and mouth.  I love all his facial expressions.  He is a happy, funny, little boy.
His little brother, Brennan, is growing quickly too!  He knows all his colors, and his ABCs.  He loves pointing out letters and saying them all.  I love the way he says things, in his own Brennan way!
Shonna came home for the holiday.  She was going to be here for just a few days, but she surprised us and came home early!  She is back at school now, but will be back in a few weeks for a whole month!
I had my 3 month bloodwork and check-up with my oncologist recently.  Everything looks good!  My hemoglobin is back up into the normal range for the first time in over 2 years.  Still would like it a bit higher though.  My neuropathy in my feet has been bothering me more often.  Right now my feet feel tingly and like the bottoms are burning.  I found something that helps though--a foot massage!  Really, it does help, and I'm blessed with a husband who is willing! 
My next check-up will be in 3 months, and I'll have more bloodwork and ct scans before I see my onc.  My next mammogram and MRI will be in April.  After all those tests are done, I might get my port removed.  I like having it for the tests; it saves my veins.
Well, I'm going to go get a much needed foot rub now!  May the next few weeks bring you abundant joy and blessings!  Even when life doesn't seem so good, we can have true joy in knowing Jesus as our Savior, friend, and Lord!
Love,
Tina

Nerves and Nausea

Today I had to go to the Cancer Care Center to get my port flushed. I remembered to put the Emla cream on my port (numbs the area so the needle doesn't hurt so much), and I remembered to bring the treats we had bought (if anyone still wants to donate treats, we'll be going back in a month). Before I went out the door I felt like I was forgetting something. Do I need my scarf to protect my throat from the cold? No. Do I need my bag with books and snacks? No. I better drink cold water now because I won't be able to later. Oh, wait, yes I will still be able to have cold stuff because I'm NOT getting chemo!!!
My stomach started tightening up with all these thoughts. I just kept taking deep breaths, and reminded myself that I'm done with the bad stuff. I started feeling nauseous as soon as I left the house. I brought my Ativan with, just in case, but didn't want to take anything because I figured since I wasn't getting chemo, the nausea wouldn't last long. (3 hours later my stomach still feels a little yucky!)
It felt so weird being back there. My nurse, Andrea, was there, but she wasn't the one flushing my port. But she did come over to see new pics of Brennan, and to see how I was doing. That's the good part about going in--the nurses are so nice! Rich went with me, even tho I assured him I would be fine going by myself. But I'm always glad to have him there with me!
While I was there I asked my oncologist's nurse to ask him what he thinks about the mammogram report. She talked to him then came back to the infusion room to tell me what he said. Basically, he agreed with the radiologist and I should go ahead and get a "stereotactic" biopsy. I'll have to look that word up--but from what the radiologist said, its a thin needle that will take some of the calcifications out so they can be biopsied (sp?). He said it doesn't hurt. The nurse gave me a copy of the report, and it says that one group of calcifications looks like it may be DCIS (a non-invasive type of breast cancer).
DCIS is a cancer that doesn't spread, and doesn't grow very fast. The radiologist said if I left it for a few years, it may become a lump. So its not life-threatening. The worst part about it is I will be at higher risk for other types of breast cancer. I'm still annoyed at the whole thing, but not worried. :)
I hope that anyone reading this who has cancer, or is going through any other deep valley, realizes they don't have to go through it alone. God is there to hold you and carry you, all you have to do is ask! On this earth we will have troubles, but if we believe in God and His son Jesus, we can spend eternity with them, where there is no sickness, no pain, and no tears. That is so amazing to think about! God is so good!
Love you all!
Tina

Here's to Many "Lasts"

2 recent pictures of my grandson!

Friday I had my 5FU chemo pump removed for the last time, and took my last shower where I had to tape up my port with Glad Press N Seal! Yesterday I happily removed the hook from the wall near the shower where I hung my pump. I hated toting that thing around. I was always getting the tubing stuck on the kitchen drawer handles and such.
Saturday I did my last Neupogen shot. I had one left, so the doc said I may as well use it. We know that my wbc will drop, so this one shot will help keep them up a little and protect me from illness. My platelets were still low too, so they will be dropping lower after this last chemo. I'll have to remember to be careful the next week or 2 until they start coming back up.
It will be a long time (4 months!) before I get my blood checked again. I wish I could get it checked sooner, just so I would know that all my levels went back up.
Today is a crappy day. Woke up with nausea--I think I forgot to take my Zofran last night. Finally managed to have some oatmeal, warm oj, and coffee. Now I'm starting to feel yucky again--I'll probably take an Ativan soon. After eating and some coffee, I had just enough energy to take a quick shower, but it really tired me out!
I feel bad that I couldn't go to church--Shonna is singing with the worship team, and also doing the offering song. Rich and Alyssa are recording it for me on my new camcorder Rich gave me for Christmas. I hope all is going well! She gets nervous sometimes, but always does great once she starts singing. I don't know if I've said this before, but next Fall she is going to a music school run by The International House of Prayer (aka IHOP) in Kansas City. She wants to see what God has in store for her, and has no idea where it will take her. I find it very exciting, and am very proud of her for stepping out in faith like that.
Rachel's hubby left on a business trip today, so she will be taking care of Brennan on her own for a few days. Of course she knows she can always bring the little guy over here if she needs a break or a nap! Brennan still doesn't sleep much, he eats often. But he is 11 pounds now! A little chunker! :)
Alyssa's hubby should be home sometime this week!! We are so excited! He's in the US, but had to do some Sargent training before he came home. I think he's back in Fort Lewis, WA. He was in Utah for the training. We all want to see him right away, but we are going to let him decide when he's ready to see everyone. He may need some time to adjust to being home..and he and Alyssa probably need some time alone together! We haven't seen him since June. Speaking of "lasts" hopefully this will be Jaren's last deployment!
Even tho today is a yucky day, it makes it easier to handle knowing that I only have a few more days of this, and then I'll start feeling better for good! Not for just a week, then back to sick again!
I just hope I can get my strength back in the next few weeks for work. So much to do....
I hope this makes some sort of sense, and there are not too many errors! I'm too tired to proof read it again.
Take care everyone!
Love,
Tina

I'm DONE!!!!!!!!!!!

The top picture is the certificate that the chemo nurses gave me for being done. The 2nd picture is the angels that have cared for me all these months. From left to right: Carol, Cheryl (my nurse for the first several rounds), me, Andrea (my main nurse for the last few months), and Sheryl. I've gotten to know all the nurses, as they all help each other out when one is at lunch or busy with another patient. They are all wonderful, as are the receptionists, and of course the doctors. Not a crabby one in the whole place. I highly recommend Regions Cancer Care Center!

I will have to go in every 4-6 weeks to get my port flushed. Andrea told me to make sure I bring in pictures of Baby Brennan! I'll keep the port at least until I have my ct scan (in 4 months), then I'll probably have it removed. What have others done? I'll have ct scans every 6months for awhile. Is it worth it to keep it in?

A few days before my scan, I'll see the doc and get blood tests done. He saw me in the infusion room today and said he didn't want to see me again for several weeks! I said "I don't want to see you either!", and we both laughed. I will miss all of them.

The end of Feb. I'll have my colonoscopy. The doc said depending on what things look like then, I would have one done every 1-3 years. I'm sort of glad to be having one done ( I know, I'm weird!), because I'm so curious to see what things look like after having 18" of my colon removed. My insides have been rearranged and I want to know what's going on in there! I'm hoping it won't hurt. I think sometimes it does after surgery because there might be scar tissue, or it might be narrower. The first one didn't hurt at all--but I'll never forget what that tumor looked like!

24 hours after I have the pump removed, Sat. afternoon, I'll do my last Neupogen shot. It will help keep my wbc from getting too low, and help me to stay healthy.

I've been warned several times that my neuropathy might take 6months or longer to go away. I'm hoping the cold sensitivity goes away enough in 4 weeks so I can stand outside for an hour doing recess at work. I'm supposed to go back to work on Tues. Feb. 16th--4 weeks from yesterday. I'm nervous about going back! I hope I'm not too tired after work, and I hope my chemo brain isn't too bad--I've forgotten alot of the kids' names! Plus I'll have to learn all new ones in Kindergarten. Thankfully the teachers and staff I work with are very kind and understanding!

Well, I've got about a week of yuckiness to get through, then when I start to feel better, I'll keep feeling better...and better, and better!

Here's to the rest of my life!! I'm praying that I'll be around for a long, long time!!

Love and Blessings to All!

Tina

Low Platelets!

Yep, my platelets are low, just as the doc and I thought they would be. They were 96 last time, and that was almost too low, and this time they were 85. My wbc were high due to the shots. We will wait a week and try again! In the meantime, I will be enjoying feeling good! :)
I asked the doc today about my tumor. I reminded him that it was "moderately differentiated" (sp?), and asked him how long he thought it took to grow. He said it probably took about 5 years to grow and was moderately aggressive--sort of middle of the road. It started as a polyp, and that is why I will have a colonoscopy every 1-3 years, so if another polyp starts they will find it and remove it before it gets cancerous. As for the cancer spreading, the fact that it only made it to 2 lymph nodes is a good thing, and the doc said all the treatment I had should have gotten any remaining cancer cells. My prognosis looks pretty good. Just off the top of his head, he thinks I have at least a 75% chance of it NOT returning. He doesn't expect it to spread. So that was all good to hear!
We also talked about my neuropathy. Its there, but doesn't hurt, just tingles. Dr. J said it would be alot worse if I didn't have that break from Oxaliplatin over the summer during radiation. He checked to make sure I still had feeling in my fingers, and told me I should call him if it gets "bothersome". There are trials going on now to find something that works better. Apparently there is a hand cream they are trying out.
I'll have a colonoscopy the end of Feb., then I'll see the doc and have labs done in about 4 months. After that I'll have a ct scan. I asked about pet scans and he said its harder to see details on the pet scan and the ct works better for the colon. I'll continue to see the doc every 3 months after that, and ct scans every 6 months. Not sure how long that will go on. It was an interesting office visit!
I couldn't help thinking how weird it will be after my last chemo--when I start feeling good, I'll KEEP feeling good. It won't only be a few days of feeling good. And then I'll be able to put ice in all my drinks again, and eat sherbet...ahhh that'll be soooo good!
My plan is to start using the treadmill and eat healthier so I can regain my strength (I can hardly make it up a short flight of steps these days. My legs are really weak!), AND keep the weight off (and hopefully lose more!!) I should start this week!
I've also got to make a better plan for Bible reading. I've always struggled with having a set time, but I really should be reading it daily. So I've got some ideas to make that work.
So much to think about--no wonder I can't sleep some nights!
Oh--I took an Ativan before my appt. this morning, and didn't have any trouble with feeling nauseous after having my port wiped with alcohol, or getting the saline flush. I'll have to remember that before every port draw!
Speaking of ports, I will leave mine in at least until I have my ct scan. I don't know if I'll want to leave it in longer than that--we'll see.
That's all for now!
Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers!
Love,
Tina

Only 6 Left!

Only 6 radiation treatments left! I can't wait to be done! My last treatment will be next Wed., but I'll still have to go down to Regions Thurs. and Friday also to finish my 5FU injections. I found out from the nurses yesterday that I'll also get a "push" (injection) of the Leukovorin along with the 5FU, because it helps the 5FU work better. They'll access my port on Monday to draw blood for labs and give me my injection, and then leave it accessed for the rest of the week. I'm glad I remembered to put the Emla cream on my port before I went this last Monday. It numbs the skin so it doesn't hurt when they put the needle in. Otherwise it hurts! The nurse I usually have on Mondays, while I love her dearly, puts it in too slow, I think. I had another nurse who did it fast and it hurt alot less.

My intestines are starting to protest a little again, and the radiation is starting to bother the bladder as well. The doc gave me a scrip for something to soothe the bladder, but I haven't tried it yet.

Today Alyssa, Shonna and I went to Godfather's Pizza for lunch. We love it, but Rich doesn't, so its usually a special treat for the girls and I. Probably wasn't the best choice for my stomach, but oh well. I had white rice and lemonade for supper to make up for it! And I don't need to worry about calories because my radiation doc was concerned today that I'm still losing weight. I'm secretly thrilled, of course! Especially since I was expecting the scale to be up a little since I have my appetite back and have been eating more.

Since I didn't nap today, and don't have anything important to do tomorrow, I'm gonna try to sleep without an Ambien pill tonight. I've taken one 3 or 4 nights in a row, and I don't want to start to need them to get to sleep. I've never even taken a Tylenol PM before...I just don't like to take drugs I don't need. But, I have learned to take what I do need, to improve my quality of life. Why suffer if I don't have to?

I might try to get a haircut tomorrow or Thurs. I hate making appts. because I never know how I'm going to feel. My hair is still thinning and starting to look really flat. I REALLY want to get out to lunch with some girlfriends (I need some laughs!), but I always hesitate to make a commitment. But I am seriously needing some girl time!

Time for bed!
Goodnight everyone!
Tina

I Shouldn't Complain, But...

This is really starting to suck. (sorry--I hate that word, but it fits!) I have been having lower abdominal cramps for days now. The pain keeps me awake at night. I'm not even going to try to sleep in bed tonight--I'm staying in the recliner. Its easier to get comfy here than in bed. Today was really bad. I do not like having to get up and shower and get to radiation every day--just makes everything hurt worse.
Today I had to go to the cancer center after radiation to get my labs done and new pump cartridge, etc. The nurse was having some trouble getting my port flushed, but thought everything was working ok when I left. Halfway home the pump started beeping because something was blocking the med from getting thru. I checked all the clamps and repositioned everything, but ended up having to go back down to Regions to have them take a look at it. The doc wanted me to have a dye study done (they inject dye into the pump then look at it on xray to see if there are any blockages), and they were able to get me in right away. Everything looked fine. They put a new needle in and it worked great. The doc said it was "positional" which means I have to move around a little, or take a deep breath, and it should start working.
Cramps have been really bad tonight. Took Immodium this morning, but didn't help with the cramping like it was supposed to. Filled a prescription the doc gave me awhile ago for something called Lomotil; took that tonight, hasn't helped much yet, but I can take more if I need to.
I don't feel like eating anything, so have been hungry all day. Bought a box of potato flakes, and had Alyssa make me some mashed potatoes tonight, but didn't eat much of it.
Tomorrow I see the radiation doc. If I don't feel better, I'm tempted to ask him about taking a break for awhile, or quitting altogether. Brings tears to my eyes to even say that--I'm not a quitter, and I want to kick this cancer, but days of pain makes you think some crazy thoughts. I'm sure I'll be fine--God will get me through this! (prayers are appreciated!!)
Gonna try to rest now.
Love and blessings to you all!
Tina

Tummy Aches

I've been feeling pretty yucky the last few days. Lots of tummy cramps. Nothing so bad that I have to take Immodium (I don't think that helps the cramping part anyways), but I have taken a Pepto Bismol now and then, and I'm trying to eat more bananas and "binding" foods. No fresh fruit or veggies. I think I should make an appt. with the dietician at Regions. I can see one while I'm down there for radiation. I was told I can eat cooked veggies, but I wasn't sure about corn on the cob. I ate 2 the other day (yum!), and my tummy started hurting after that and has been hurting since (I ate it on Sat.). So, these are things the dietician could tell me. I've been more tired too--but my hemoglobin and other red blood cells counts are low. Hemoglobin was 9.2 today--9.5 last week. I've never been this low except maybe after Shonna was born--but I don't remember how low I was then, just that I had lost a lot of blood so the doc expected it to be low. I asked the nurse today if she knew how low it has to be for them to give me blood and she said "in the eights"--so I'm pretty close to that!
I did find out that this chemo drug (5FU) does cause low white and red blood cells counts. I thought it was just white blood cells I had to worry about! My white blood cells and platelets are all just fine, thank God!
I've been having a little more nausea too. I mentioned before that I had to take one of my pills on Friday, and I took another one today. Over the weekend I just felt a little yucky at times--not bad enough to take anything.
To anyone that has a port, or central line that needs to be flushed with saline--it REALLY helps to plug your nose. You can breathe thru your mouth, but don't unplug until the nurse is completely done flushing the line. I got very little of that yucky taste today. Last week I unplugged in the middle of it and got the full hit. I felt sick the rest of the day, and couldn't get that taste out of my mouth. I don't think everyone is as affected by it as I am, but don't take the chance!
I have a nice, red, bumpy rash around my port. Its been itching a little from the dressing that covers it, but it got really bad when the nurse put extra plastic tape around it last Thursday. So today, the nurse just put a clear plastic covering over it. Its not much different than saran wrap. Hopefully this won't itch as bad!
All in all, this is still better than chemo, but I wish the cramping would stop! I wasn't prepared to be lazin' around--I thought I'd be feeling well enough to keep busy most of this summer!
Thanks for your prayers!
Love to all!
Tina

Radiation Ain't too Bad

So far everything is going pretty well with radiation. I'm still getting used to the routine of going to the hospital everyday, it takes me about 20-25 minutes to get there, depending on traffic. I like that I have time to do things in the morning (I don't leave until 11 am), but my afternoons are useless. I eat lunch when I get home, then instead of working on projects(I've got a to-do list on the fridge) for at least a little while--I read, and sometimes even take a little nap! I'll have to work on structuring my time a little better. And I should probably find a little time in the morning for Bible study again, and some exercise would be good too. I guess my problem is that my time just seems so unstructured right now, and I feel like I'm wasting alot of it! Since I'm not feeling really sick, I should be doing more--but running to radiation everyday just messes things up. Oh well--I guess if that's all I've got to complain about, I must be doing pretty well, right??
Today(in addition to radiation) I had my port flushed, needle changed(that hurt!), and a new cartridge of 5FU put in my pump, plus labs done. My labs are ok, except for my hemoglobin, which went down to 9.5 (supposed to be 12-14). Its been below 11 most of the time since my surgery. The doc gave me iron pills, but I keep forgetting to take them. I don't know why it would go down. I didn't think chemo affected red blood cells--I'll have to go back and read all my info about chemo! That does add to the fatigue tho! I've been feeling yucky all day from that stupid saline flush of my port. I can taste it and the taste stays with me no matter what I eat--and just gives me a blah feeling. I held my nose for most of it (it really helps!), but not for all of it. My port was a little sluggish, so she had to keep flushing it until it cleared. I've also used an apple-cinnamon tea bag when I had my pump removed at home. You hold it to your nose and breathe it in and it really worked! Maybe I'll have to put some tea bags in a baggie and bring them on Mondays!
Other news--Rachel went in for an ultrasound on Friday morning and the baby is healthy and the right size. Very active too! The doc didn't like Rachel's blood sugars tho (they have been up, down, and all around!), so she put Rachel in the hospital for a few days so the endocrinologist (diabetes doc) can work on getting Rachel's numbers more stable. She was only supposed to be in for a few days, but event the experts are having a hard time getting her blood sugars under control! She says now she has proof its not just her! The endo thinks he's getting a handle on it, and she should be able to come home on Wed. She's bored silly! Ken spent the first few nights there with her, but tonight she's by herself. She has a word puzzle book, a jigsaw puzzle, books to read, plus a dvd player and dvds to keep her busy.
Alyssa and Jaren have been busy visiting friends, taking care of paperwork, and shopping! They have been staying at our house. Jaren leaves Wed. morning to go back to Iraq. It will be difficult for them, but they'll have lots of happy memories from this 2 weeks to help get them through the next 8 months! Keep them in your prayers!
North Heights Lutheran Church (our former church) will be having their annual Freedom Celebration on the 4th of July. Its a very patriotic service where they honor all service men and women. Vets are encouraged to wear their hats or uniforms. This year, at their Sat. eve. service, they will have a webstreamed, 2-way video between the church and the COB Basra, Iraq base, and the chaplain there, John Morris. That's the base where Jaren is! So we will definitely be going to that service! Maybe we'll be able to see Jaren! Altho I think it will be the middle of the night there. It'll be a good service anyway--it always brings a tear (or several)to my eye. I am SO grateful to ALL our servicemen and women! I just wish our country treated them better!
Shonna got a 32(out of 36!) on her ACT test. Hopefully that will help her get some scholarship money! She hasn't been home much since school's been out--tons of grad parties, fun times with friends, and work--whenever someone needs a day off, she gladly takes it for the extra money! Now she has a cold tho, so I hope she slows down the next few days.
So that's my update for now! Please keep all my little ones in your prayers, and Rich too, as work has been very stressful.
Take care everyone!!
Love,
Tina

Blah

"blah" is about the only way I can describe how I feel right now, so I'll probably use that word alot when writing about chemo!
Last night I was overly tired, had a headache and normal body aches that come with being so tired, so I finally took some tylenol about 9:15 (I was too lazy to take it earlier). We went bed not long after that and I put my anti nausea drugs and some warm water next to the bed to take awhile after the tylenol. I told Rich that I was so happy to not feel sick to my stomach, that I didn't care if I couldn't get to sleep or not! I tried for over an hour to get comfy and fall asleep, and I knew I was waking Rich up everytime I rolled over. I finally went out to the living room. Shonna was still up, but I told her I didn't care, I just didn't want to be in the bedroom any longer. She put her dvd into the computer and watched it with her headphones, and I finished reading one of my books. She went to bed about 12:15, and I still couldn't sleep, so I moved to the recliner chair (I had been on one of the recliners on the loveseat). Finally about 1 I fell asleep! I slept until Rich got up for work about 6:15, then I went back to the bed. I dozed off and on until Rachel called at 8:05 to see what the temp was going to be for the day (!). Then I turned the radio on and listened to the news. I started feeling hungry, and I thought uh-oh, cuz I was worried I'd start feeling nauseous, and of course a little while later I did. I got up and choked down some saltines, and took my drugs. Then I had a bowl of oatmeal (no cold cereal for me!). I felt queasy until about 10:45, at which time I finally dragged my butt into the shower!
I covered my port with Glad press and seal for the shower, but it didn't work as well as it should have, and the port covering got a little wet. I was very careful the rest of the shower, and just made it a quick one. I toweled it off good, and seems to be ok.
I have NO energy. I did make tomato soup and rice ( I love rice in my soup!) for lunch, and that didn't taste as good as I wanted, but still ok. After I'm done with this I think I'll go back to bed and listen to my new cd--something about rain and a garden. Don't know if I'll sleep--didn't yesterday when I tried to nap, but it will feel good to just relax and listen to rain. When I'm feeling better I need to get a cheap mp3 player and put some soothing music on it. Rich's small Ipod has the Bible on it, but I've been too lazy to figure out how to work it--I seem to be having a hard time concentrating or even caring about anything right now! Just want to get thru it and get some energy back! I'm making a mental "to-do" list of things to have ready next time.
Some wierd side effects: my cheeks and nose have been bright red and warm feeling since I got up this morning; my jaws hurt with the first few bites of any food--esp. bad with tart stuff, goes away after a few bites; and last night tears popped up during a touching moment on American Idol, and I had sharp pain behind my eyes for a few seconds. Its like things that might normally cause a little ache, now hurt worse--esp. my on my face. I've also been sneezing alot, altho I don't feel any allergy symtoms.
Normal side effects are: some mild nausea; can't touch, eat or drink cold; tiredness, yucky taste in mouth that affects the taste of foods I eat.
So, even with all my complaining, I am pleased with how I am doing. God has been hearing and answering everyone's prayers! So far, its nothing bad or too uncomfortable. I'm glad I took the day off, so there is really nothing I have to do all day. I feel a little guilty having so much "me" time, but I plan to stuff that guilt and soak it up! I warned Rich that if he keeps spoiling me so much I'm going to be hard to live with when this is all over!
Well, I'm gonna try eating a cinnamon roll (mom bought some-it better taste ok!!), and then go rest.
Hope everyone else's day is going well!
Love to all!
Tina

More Info

Hey everyone! (Another long one--sorry!)
I'm going to start this blog while making tacos. I usually end up burning supper when I try to multi-task, so wish me luck :-) .
Yesterday Rich and I spent most of the day down at Regions. I had a 10:30 appt. with the Radiation Therapist, and a 2:30 appt. with a nurse at the Cancer Center for a chemo class.
The RT's name is Dr. Bisignani, and I liked him very much. I met with his nurse first and she went over the details about radiation. Then he pretty much went over the same stuff, and added some details. After 4 rounds of chemo (2 months) I will make an appt. to see him again for the planning session. At that time he will do a ct scan of my pelvic area to get exact measurements and stuff. Then he will put 3 little dots on my back (permanent tattoos--I'll sort have a "tramp stamp"!!) to mark where to pinpoint the radiation. I think I mentioned in my last blog the side effects of radiation--but mostly they are fatigue, diarrhea, skin irritation (in places the sun don't shine!), bladder/bowel irritation, and feeling the "urge to go". These side effects don't usually start until about 3 weeks into the treatment, but I might already have the fatigue and diarrhea from the chemo. The doc said they have creams, drugs, etc to help ease all the symptoms, and it really didn't sound as bad as I was expecting. I will have to have radiation for 5 1/2 weeks, Mon.- Fri. I'll be getting 1 of my chemo drugs (5FU) continuously for the duration. I'll stop in at the cancer clinic once a week and they'll change the needle and give my pump a new cartridge. The best part?? FREE PARKING! We'll get some sort of ID that will let us in a gated parking lot right by the door to the radiation clinic! That ramp parking is getting expensive!

The chemo class was good. There was one other woman there who is having the same chemo drugs I am. I pretty much knew everything we talked about, and had already read over the literature she used, but it was nice to be able to ask the nurse some questions. The procedure when I go to chemo is (and sorry if I've covered this before!), I get my blood drawn to check blood counts and kidney and liver function, then I meet with the oncologist, then, if my labs come back ok, they start giving me the drugs. First they give me some fluids and an anti-nausea drug thru my port, and that takes 15 to 20 min. Then they give me 2 of the "Folfox" drugs together over 2 hours. I then get a 2 min. boost of the 5fu drug(the 3rd Folfox drug) that I'll be taking home in the pump. Last, they hook me up to my pump and I take it home! The whole thing should take about 3.5 to 4 hours.
We talked alot about side effects. I'm still not sure about the hair thing. I was pretty sure I had figured out that people don't usually lose their hair with this chemo, but I guess some do, and some have enough thinning that they like to wear a wig. I'll eventually get a shorter hair cut, but I think I'll wait and see before I do anything too drastic. I'm going to get some Emla cream to put on my port to numb the skin before chemo. I've heard that it can hurt the 1st few times. A friend told me about the cream and the nurse called today to tell me the doc ok'd it and sent in a prescription for me. If I didn't have the cream, I could also ask the nurses to use ice to numb the area first. (Speaking of my port, its feeling much better--just a little sore.)As I said, I'll get one anti-nausea drug in the IV, and then I'll have 2 others to take at home every few hours, even if I don't feel sick. Then I think I'll have 2 other anti-nausea drugs to take as needed if all the other stuff isn't working!
The nurse, Andrea, showed us around the clinic. The chemo area has about 15 chairs, some with curtains. There are 5 private rooms filled on a "first-come" basis. The private rooms have tvs with a vcr and dvd. They have a fridge with lots of juices and different drinks, a microwave and soups, and baskets with crackers and treats. You can also bring your own food to microwave.

The biggest thing I got out of today is that any side effect that gets too uncomfortable, or doesn't seem right, I need to call and let the doc know. If I'm throwing up alot and can't keep anything down, I'm supposed to call. There are things they can do to help almost any situation, and that goes for radiation too. There is a dietician and a social worker (and probably other specialists) that can be scheduled to meet with me during chemo, if needed.

The lady that was in the chemo class with me is really nervous about chemo. She watched her husband go thru it several years ago for lung cancer (he eventually died), and he was really sick from the drugs. It sounds like he didn't have all the anti nausea drugs we have now, and supposedly our regimen is not as strong as for some types of cancer (thank God!). I do know what she is feeling tho. I'm in a really good place emotionally now, and I know that's God's doing, because for awhile, right after surgery, I was feeling really scared and upset about all this. My peace right now is definintely God given!! For awhile I was upset because I have no other options. I never was one who liked being told what to do! I felt like I was on some evil train that I couldn't get off, and I was doomed to feeling sick and miserable. Now I keep thanking God for my blessings, and I'll trust in Him that I'll get thru this all ok.

On Wed. I went to work for a visit. Thanks for all the hugs!!!! I didn't even mind that they hurt my newly implanted port! It was worth a little discomfort! It looks like I'll be able to work 3.5 hours, instead of my usual 4.5 (5 hours with lunch). That's the plan now until the end of the school year. We'll figure my Fall schedule in Aug. I'll have a better idea how I'm feeling then. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have waited to see how I feel before cutting my hours, but I know me, and I know I'll be tired, and working 3.5 hours will be much more doable. Working with kids is a stressful job, and its hard to be loving, caring, and attentive when you feel like crap! I definitely LOVE my job tho. I miss the kiddos. I'll be putting some hand sanitizer in the lunchroom to use, and do my best to keep all those germs off me! Hopefully my white blood cell count will stay up and I won't have to worry about infections. I start back to work next Thurs, April 2nd!

Ok, I'll quit now. Oh! I want to thank my friend Carol for dinner the other night! I had a great time! It was good to see everyone.
Love and blessings!!
Tina :-)

Port-A-Cath

Well, I had my port put in yesterday. A fairly simple procedure. It was done in the out patient surgery area at Regions. They didn't give me any "happy" drugs until they were almost ready for surgery, so I was a little nervous while they were prepping me in the surgery area. Because of the location of the port (upper right chest) my whole head had to be draped. My head was turned to the left and they had this arm thing attached to the bed to hold the drape off my face so I could see out a little. The nurses would bend over and stick their faces down there to check on me and see how I was doing. One guy told me to let him know if anything itches-- he said they are specially trained in nose itching--made me giggle! They finally gave me my IV drugs, and then the surgeon came in to start the procedure. I was awake for the whole thing--the nurse was surprised I didn't drift off at all. Every now and then the surgeon would tell me I'd feel a little stick, and that was the novacaine. Other than that all I felt was alot of pushing on my chest.
After surgery I thought I'd just get some juice and crackers, but she asked me what I wanted to drink (apple juice) and then brought me a tray with a small turkey sandwich, cup of pudding, banana, milk, and a small pack of Oreos. I let Rich have the milk and cookies :-).
We got home about 3 pm, and I took a nap. The site was very sore and any movement hurt. I could only take Tylenol, because of risk of bleeding from other pain meds. Didn't sleep to well. I can't sleep in one position all night, and it hurt to move around. I'm still sore now (its almost 11am), but not nearly as sore as I was when I first got up.
My advice for anyone getting a port: Plan on resting after the surgery, and don't plan anything for the next day--you'll be a little sore, and a lot tired! (I had to get up this morning to take my mom to the clinic--not a good plan!).
Well, I won't be doing much housework today-- I've started reading "At Home in Mitford", so I'll probalby read alot. And I'll be napping--very sleepy.
Next up--Thursday appt. with the radiation therapist in the morning, and a chemo class in the afternoon. Should be an interesting day. I'll find out what to expect during radiation, and how long I have to have it, and then I can get all my questions answered about chemo.
Tomorrow I am going to dinner with some friends-can't wait--should be alot of fun!
Take care everyone!
Love and blessings!!
Tina
ps. Thanks Karri for the comment (nice to hear from you!! Make sure you read Dee's comment after yours!) And thanks Karen for the phone call--I heard from both of you on the same day I think--maybe Keith had something to do with that?? Love to both of you!

My Meeting With the Oncologist

Here it is folks...I'll try not to get too long winded!
I'll start off by saying that I like my doctor( Dr. Jahagirdar), and all the folks at the Regions Cancer Care Center seemed really nice! The treatment is pretty much the same treatment I've read about on the blogs of those who recently have gone thru this, so there was nothing new or out of the ordinary. I will have to have radiation also, due to the location of the tumor.
So this is what's going to happen: My chemo will start on Wed., April 8th. I wanted a Wed. so I have the weekend to recover before going back to work. I'll get chemo every other week, for 3 days. The first day of chemo I'll go to Regions and I'll have blood drawn (too make sure everything is ok before they start chemo), meet with the oncologist, get some fluids and IV drugs to help with side effects, and then I'll start the chemo. The whole process takes about 4 hours. I'll come home with a pump (like a fanny pack) that'll continuously give me 1 of the chemo drugs for 46 hours. On the 3rd day (Friday) either a nurse will come to the house to disconnect the pump, or I'll go to Regions to get it disconnected.
After 4 rounds of this (2 months) I'll start radiation for about 5 weeks. During radiation I'll only be getting 1 of the chemo drugs. Radiation doesn't sound like much fun! My bladder and bowels will be irritated and will feel like I have to "go" frequently. Great, just what I need. And there could be permanent damage to the bowels. Hopefully this is rare! I meet with the radiologist next week, so I'll find out more about all of this.
After radiation I'll restart the chemo process for 8 more rounds. The whole chemo/radiation process should take about 7-8 months.
The drug "cocktail" I'll be getting is called Folfox. This is a combo of 3 drugs--5FU, leucovorin, and oxaliplatin. Common side effects are diarrhea, mouth sores, nausea and vomiting, fatigue, decreased blood counts, sensitivity to cold, and tingling, burning and numbess in hands and feet. I was happy to hear hair loss is less common, and if it happens its usually thinning, not total loss. Shonna and her friends apparently talked about buying me colorful scarves, but I may not need them. Thanks anyways for thinking about me!!
The doc said they have drugs that greatly reduce the nausea, and he didn't think the side effects with this regimen were all that bad. We'll see! I have a chemo class next week, and I'll find out more then. I've read about the cold sensitivity and its really extreme. It hurts to drink anything cold (1 guy said it felt like swallowing shards of glass), you can't touch anything cold (have to use gloves to get things out of the freezer), and it even hurts to breath in cold air (like the refrigerated section of the store).
Next Monday I get the Port-A-Cath put in. This is a port that will go under my skin in the front shoulder area and stay there until I'm done with chemo. This is how they draw blood and give the chemo drugs. I think I'll have an IV also the first day of each cycle.
Next Thurs. I meet with the radiologist and have my chemo class.
The following Tues. I meet with a genetic counselor. Dr. J wants to do genetic testing on my tumor. It may tell me whether or not this runs in the family, or am I just an oddball. :-P
Then I'm back to work the Thurs. after that (April 2nd). So much for getting lots of rest!
So, this morning I woke up saying to myself over and over "This is really gonna suck". Then I read some e-mails and messages I've gotten, and that lifted my spirits. If I look at it as only being 8 months out of my life, then that doesn't seem so bad. By this time next year I should be cancer free, and getting ready for my daughter's May wedding! Oh my, there will be a June graduation too! My baby will be done with high school!! My family is my life, and they are what's going to get me thru this.
I thank God that He is with me thru all this, carrying me when the going gets tough. And I thank Him that I have such a wonderful husband, daughters, family and friends. Please continue to pray for me, and I am asking God to heap blessings on each and everyone of you!
Love ya all!
Tina
ps this was enough info for one day...if I think of anything else I'll write it tomorrow. If you have any questions post a comment or e-mail me and I'll be happy to try and answer!