Six Years!

(I started writing this in February...and finished it today...! )
I just re-read my last update, and I had said I would update again soon. *sigh*  I had good intentions of doing so! Oh well, here is an update:
Feb. 6th marked 6 years since the day my tumor was found during a colonoscopy.  I remember that day so well, and all the emotions that went with it. (Go back to the beginning of my blog, if you want to read more about those first few weeks, here.).  Exactly 2 weeks later, on 2/20, I had a Low Anterior Resection (LAR) and had about 18" of my colon and rectum removed. My first surgery, and it was a doozy! Then, as some of you may know, not long after I finished chemo in Jan. of 2010, I found out I had breast cancer, and had to go through surgery,chemo, and radiation all over again. (Start reading about my journey with breast cancer here.) While I occasionally stop to think about all that happened, starting 6 years ago, mostly I am just so happy to be here, cancer-free and living life!

I am happy to say (albeit awkwardly) that I had a final fistula surgery in Nov., and it was repaired and the area healed nicely!  It was totally unexpected.  My surgeon scheduled a surgery for me with her and her partner, who has an ultrasound machine he can use in surgery (I had to have it done at "his" hospital, and my surgeon had to get guest privileges). With the help of the ultrasound they were able to see that it was fixable, and wouldn't make my situation worse if they cut it open.  It did heal slowly, but my surgeon was very happy with the results! And so am I! I had 3 surgeries on that area in 2014, and hopefully I won't have ANY surgeries this year--wouldn't that be wonderful?!

Well, it's now June, and I am happy to say things are still going well. I have more good days than bad, as far as the digestive system goes, and that makes this girl happy!  I had a bad couple of days earlier this week, and was so thankful it is summer time and I didn't have to take a day off work.  Sometimes my system just start moving and doesn't stop!  And that causes a lot of pain too!  Did I eat to many cooked carrots? Was it that small piece of watermelon I had?  The sandwiches I had with 12 grain bread (I'm putting my money on this one), or just my system deciding it wanted to kick things into high gear??   It's really hard to tell.  But, things have done a 180, and I am better.  Got my energy back too (for some reason I get really tired on those bad days--might be psychological from the frustration).
Just as an example of the PTSD that can creep up when least expected, I share something that happened to me today (although VERY minor compared to what some people experience!).  I was going through and old file (6 years old!) of medical receipts and paperwork for an FSA we used to have during my chemo and radiation days.  I started reading the names of some of the prescriptions, and my hands started shaking! Strong antibiotics for C-diff, something for the bladder irritation caused by rads, ambien, percocet, ativan, lots of anti-nausea meds, lovenox syringes, neupogen syringes, etc.  Some I had to look up because I couldn't remember what they were for! I shredded them quickly, but I still felt shaky and nauseated (oh how I remember the pain of rads, and how much I hated giving myself all those shots!).  Most days it's hard to believe all that happened to me, but sometimes it's all too real and seems like yesterday.  Thankfully, if I remember to pray, God calms me down.
You should know by now that I try to let people know some of the things survivors go through.  Because of the great things that have been done in the field of medicine, more and more people are surviving cancer.  But along with that survivorship, comes many late side effects caused by chemo, radiation, and surgery.  Some don't pop up until 15-20 years later. I want everyone to be aware that your family member/close friend/co-worker/whatever that is now cancer free STILL has problems from that cancer.  They can not just move on, get-over it, and act like nothing happened to them.  Please be kind and helpful to survivors.  They still have pain, extreme fatigue, physical limitations, more surgeries to fix problems, etc.  NEVER TELL THEM they need to get back to work, quit faking it, that they are fine now. My heart hurts for the people that are still battling the beast that have heard these things from family members.  Makes me want to slap someone! *steps off soapbox*
In other news, I am enjoying my summer break, getting to spend more time with grandkids, and also taking time to clean and organize a bit.  (Something I'll never be done with!)  Our family continues to grow--Rachel and Ken are in the process of adopting their adorable little girl that they've had as a foster child for the past year, Shonna graduated from college in Dec. and recently started her first  "adult job", and Alyssa and Jaren are doing a wonderful job raising their beautiful daughter. In July we will spend time together as a family in Duluth again, and we all can't wait!  Rich and I will get a few days to ourselves first on the North Shore, then meet everyone in Duluth for a few days.  It's my favorite place, with my favorite man! God continues to bless us, and we are so grateful for all that we have!
God bless!
Tina

Neglected Blog!

Well now, I've neglected this blog for over 6 months!  Anyone just stopping by for the first time, make sure you check out the tab at the top labeled "My Journey".  That will give you an overview of my 2 cancers and treatments, and also give you links to take you to the beginning of each cancer diagnosis.
I recently had several tests done and met with my oncologist for my 6 month check up.  I've had CT scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis, a brain MRI, lots of labs, a mammogram, and .....I think that's it, although I feel like I'm missing something.  Bottom line---everything looks good!! And yes, I DO have a brain!  ;)
I won't have to have any more CT scans, because I've reached my 5 year anniversary for the colon cancer, which means NO MORE colon cancer!  I will still have a chest MRI for the breast cancer, and see my onc. every 6 months.
My brain MRI was because of some unusual headaches I've been having.  Still don't know what's causing them, but it's not brain cancer (THANK YOU LORD!!!!!).  That is the only test that has really scared me.  I REALLY was afraid that they might find a tumor up there.  I can handle tumors almost anywhere else--just NOT MY BRAIN.
The other thing I've been having issues with is the neuropathy in my feet.  I talked to my primary physician, and she put me on Neurontin (gabepentin).  I only stayed on it 9 days because it made me so groggy. I was supposed to double the dose on day 14, but there was no way I was going to do that.  My onc. wants me to try acupuncture, which surprised me because he's sort of a skeptic about things, but we've both heard many people say they've had improvement with it.  I haven't done it yet...I keep forgetting to call my insurance to see if they cover it.  If that doesn't work, Cymbalta might help. My neuropathy isn't too bad, but the burning feeling on the bottoms of my feet has been getting worse.  It's never terribly painful, just annoying.  It hurts worse when I've been on my feet a lot, or with any extreme temperature.  Too hot or too cold--they both cause that burning feeling.
Stomach/digestive issues are still there, but probably always will be due to the type of  colon resection surgery I had (Low Anterior Resection).  Things are better, but I find the side effects from cancer treatment to be very annoying some days.  I get tired of it and it gets me down sometimes.  I realized a while ago that I am almost always in some kind of pain/discomfort--no wonder I feel blue sometimes!  But don't worry, overall I feel happy and blessed!  Because, hey, I'm alive and cancer free, right??  :)
Well, that's my little update for now.  March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness month, so if you are over 50, and haven't had your colonoscopy, GO GET IT DONE ASAP.  Colorectal cancer can be PREVENTED by getting your screenings done!  If you are younger and have any bowel changes, bleeding, etc. INSIST on getting a colonoscopy.  More and more young people are getting colon and rectal cancer now.  The best way to fight this disease is to catch it early!
Blessings!!
Tina

March 2013 Update

Hello there!
It's almost the end of March and we still have LOTS of snow!  Our temps are running about 10 degrees below normal, but at least the sun has been out the last few days, and the snow is slowly melting.  Easter is this coming Sunday already!  We will be having everyone over to our house for a buffet lunch.  My house will be FULL.  May have to come up with a different plan next year, as there just isn't enough room in my house for our growing families!
I have been spending a lot of my online time on some private Facebook groups for those affected by colon cancer.  If you know anyone with ANY type of colon/rectal/anal issue (including crohn's, IBS, colitis, cancer), tell them to search FB for COLONTOWN.  This is the main group, and from there you can join the different 'neighborhoods' that are more specific to your particular issue, including a group for caretakers.  It's all private, so talk about colons, rectums, and bodily functions are the norm there!  It's a blessing for me to FINALLY connect with others who understand what I'm going through.  We all help each other and share ideas on what works and what doesn't.  I've gotten some good advice there for my on-going issues, and things have improved for me.  I'm still hoping to improve things more, but at least my problems are better than they were.
Being in this community makes me aware, once again, of the many, many people with colorectal cancer.  There are those on there that are newly diagnosed, and they will finish chemo and have a good prognosis, like me.  Then there are those that are stage 4, and will be on chemo, off and on, for the rest of their lives. And, lately, there seems to be many (WAY TOO MANY) who are dying from this horrible disease.  Almost daily there are posts that someone passed away. Sometimes this gets into my head a bit, and I start to worry more about a recurrence.  I start to think in terms of when, not if.  Thankfully, God knows those troubling thoughts I am having, and He reminds me to put my focus on HIM.  I don't need to fear ANYTHING.  That is such a freeing thought!  Whether I am sick, healthy, rich, poor, dying--none of it matters.  God has given me eternal life, and He is with me every moment of every day.  Nothing is too big for Him.  What a relief to know He has my back! Whew!
Soon I'll get a break from Dr. appointments and tests (I hope!).  I had to have another minor surgery on my bum, and the worst part was the 9 pokes it took to get my IV started!  Over 2 weeks later I can still see the bruise on the back of my hand!  The surgery went well though, and I had very little pain after.  I had a DEXA bone density scan last week, and hope to get the results of that soon.  That is an easy scan--no IVs or anything!  Chemo can damage/weaken the bones, and so can menopause (which started early for me because of chemo/radiation), so we are just checking to see if my bones are still strong.  I have a post-op appt. this week, then a port flush appt. next week.  Then I really should make an eye dr. appt. and dentist appt.  Sheesh!  It's always something~I've already met my deductible for the year, and it's only March!
Well, that's my March update.  All the kids and grandkids are doing well!  My oldest and her husband will soon be licensed to do foster care, so we are all excited about that.  I hope I have enough energy to help her out! Thankfully summer is only a few months away and I'll be off work for a bit. :)
God bless each one of you!
Tina

It's a New Year!

Happy New Year!  2013 has arrived!
2012 wasn't so bad; I've heard many people say how glad they are to see it go, but for me it was a pretty good year!  The best part (besides being cancer-free still!) was baby Selah being born in October.  It is such a joy to have another baby around.  She is growing fast now and things are changing quickly!  She's got the cutest smile and dimples too!
When I look back on 2012, it seems like it was a year of settling in, and figuring things out.  It was a year without any cancer treatments (Thank God!), and I have just been trying to figure out what my 'new normal' is, what my body is doing, and what my energy levels are.  
I feel that 2013 is a year in which I need to really make some changes, and I think I'm ready to do that.  
I've been trying to figure out this last month how food affects me, and I've switched to a low residue diet.  I am not eating nuts, seeds, fresh fruits or veggies (except bananas). Only cooked/canned fruits and veggies, and esp. applesauce.  Also, no high fiber breads and cereals, except oatmeal.  This may not be the healthiest diet (we all know fresh fruits/veggies/high fiber is supposed to be the best), but it's what I need to eat because of my overactive digestive system. The problems I was experiencing were really starting to get me depressed.  I missed 2 days of work because of them in Dec.  I think I had been waiting for things to settle down on their own, and then I realized it's been long enough (almost 4 years since my colon resection), and I need to figure this out!  I remembered hearing about a low residue diet somewhere, so I thought I'd start with that.  That has really helped (so far, anyway).  I make sure I eat bananas and applesauce nearly everyday. Those 2 foods help the most.  I started taking Citrucel each morning after breakfast, but I don't think I need to do that everyday.  I've been ok without it.
The next thing to work on is my weight. I really want to lose the weight I've gained back since I've been done with chemo.  I can eat smaller portions (which also helps the digestive system!), and I especially need to exercise.  I am too young to be so out of shape!  Fatigue is a big problem for me,  but I can't let that stop me.  I've started drinking a small cup of coffee or tea every afternoon, and that helps!
Most of all, I've realized that I've just sort of been 'going through the motions' a lot this past year, and I want to live each day more fully.  I'm so blessed to be here, and I don't want to waste whatever time I've been given.  I think I needed this past year, to just 'be' (I don't know how else to explain it!), but now it's time to move on and really live! (If I can find the energy!)
If there are any people that like to pray reading this, please pray that the tiredness goes away, and doesn't keep me from being healthy.  Pray also for me physically, that my body continues to heal from the beating it's taken the last few years.  My oncologist always reminds me that I've been through a lot, and it's taken it's toll on me!  I really appreciate any prayers, and if you leave me a comment or send an e-mail, I will be sure to pray for you also!
As I close, I am sending up a prayer for everyone that stops by to read this.  May God reveal Himself to you more fully, and may the Creator and Giver of all life bless you with health, peace, and true joy in 2013!
Love,
Tina

PS: Some pictures from Christmas!

A Loooong Overdue Update!

Well, I've been putting off updating, because so much has happened since March (I can't believe it's been that long!) that this could be a REALLY long post.  I'll do my best to shorten all the news, and hopefully update more often!
Let's start with my health~thankfully not much has changed!  I still have the Seton thingy in my fistula, and it's feeling a bit better (although sore now from sitting so long!).  I recently had an ultrasound of the area, but I can't get in to see my surgeon again until Aug 7th to find out the results and what we do next.  Remember, this was caused by the radiation I had for colon cancer, and the radiated skin makes this a bit more tricky. For now, we wait and see what the surgeon says.  She is really good, and I trust her judgement.
In May I had my 3 month check up with my oncologist and had my labs done.  Everything looks good--some things, like hemoglobin and platelets, have improved. I continue to have problems with neuropathy, esp. in my feet, I continue to be tired a lot, and I still have a lot of bowel issues from my Low Anterior Resection.  But I'm happy to be here, and be alive!  My surgery was over 3 years ago--can you believe it?!
In Aug. I'll have labs, CT scans, MRI, and see my onc. again.  I had an MRI and Mammogram in Feb., but he wants to start staggering them and doing one of them every 6 months.  So, I'll have the MRI in Aug., and the mammo  next Feb.  My oncologist is keeping a close eye on me, so if there ever is a recurrence, of either cancer, we'll catch it early!
Ok, on to other news!  In my last post I wrote about Rich going to a job interview that sounded promising--well he got that job!  The pay is BETTER, the people are nice, and the job is interesting, rewarding, and less stressful! The drive is about 24 miles one way (nearly double what he drove before), but it's not so bad.  He leaves early to beat the worst of the rush, and he is trying different routes.  What we thought might be a major trial, was God just answering my many prayers to get Rich a better job!   We have an AMAZING God (and He is amazing whether or not we go through difficult times!). Rich was miserable at the other place the last few years. Life is too short to live like that!
I have not found another job, and am thinking my little part time job at the school is really a blessing.  Although it doesn't bring in much money (enough for a car payment or 2), I get to spend more time with my girls and grandkids.  And those 3.25 hours a day I do work wear me out, so longer hours would be worse!  I still keep my eyes open for a quieter paperwork kind of job though.  That wouldn't wear me out as much as working with kids does.  But then I wouldn't have summers off, would I?
Now for the REALLY GOOD news! Alyssa is pregnant!!  And she is having a GIRL!  I am sooooo excited!  I was really hoping for a girl, because we've got the 2 boys.  Alyssa was hoping for a girl too, because she LOVES pink!  She warned Jaren that there might be 'pink overload'.  He is so good to her.  It makes him happy just to see her so happy about the baby.  Funny thing is, this wasn't planned, and they had actually just talked about putting off having kids for a long time.  God had other plans for them!  They will be great parents, and they will have lots of help!  Baby girl is due Nov. 5th.
Brennan and Charlie are growing like little weeds!  Charlie is walking with a walker, and can walk holding on to furniture.  He is so awesome.  He is happy, giggly, and loves to hug and be held! He'll soon be 5!  Brennan will be 3 the end of Sept.  He is so funny and has a great sense of humor.  Talks and sings all the time.
Alyssa and Jaren bought a house only 4 miles away.  They moved in mid-May.  Rachel and Ken sold their house in just a few days, and bought a house a little farther away.  They are about 25 min. away, instead of 5, but are a little closer to Ken's work.  Rachel is always planning and thinking about the next child they will adopt, but for now, there is work to be done on their new house, and 2 adorable little boys to give lots of attention to!
Shonna did move back home and we are so happy to have her back in MN!  She will be going to the the U of M!  Not the school I ever expected, but it is a lot less expensive than the Christian schools (even with some good scholarships she got!).  She adopted 2 cute bunnies, and they are taking up most of my family room!  But I love rodents, and these 2 are cute and have a lot of personality!  Shonna will eventually be going to live down the street with my sister.
Ok, how did I do?  Not too long I hope! I plan to do a post soon on some of the emotions and issues we cancer survivors can have.  I've experienced a lot of highs and lows lately.  But that's for another day....
May God greatly bless each reader that stops by here...love to all!
Tina

There's a Name For It!

Since this blog is still primarily about my health and cancer issues, I'm going to share some personal things with you. I won't get into too much detail though...
I saw my doctor about a week and a half ago, after having a lot of pain and missing a day of work so I could rest and take some Percocet.  She and I both thought I had a fistula (not going to describe that here, other than to say it's a major pain in the bum!).  I was supposed to see my surgeon, but he referred me to a colon-rectal surgeon. I was able to get in this past Thurs., due to a cancellation.  I'm so glad I was able to get in to see an expert in my issues! Good news was, there is no fistula. There are some other minor problems that could be fixed with surgery, but since I had radiation there is a risk that the area wouldn't heal.  Surgery of a radiated area is always risky due to the damage done to the skin. So no surgery!  I'm so glad!
I started telling her (the surgeon) of some of my problems and pain, and she said my surgeon must've mentioned these things to me, and I said, no, he didn't! She told me my problems are very common for my type of colon resection (low anterior resection), so common in fact, that there is a syndrome named for them--Low Anterior Resection Syndrome!  We talked about how my colon now functions, and she gave me some tips and ideas on how to improve things.  It's mostly trial and error, as each person is different.  I can't tell you how nice it was to talk to someone openly and have them understand exactly what I was saying!  I hope some of the things we talked about will work.  Problem is that it takes time to figure out what works and what doesn't.
I had a pretty good week and a half or so, but the pain came back full force today.  I couldn't wait to get home from work today and take a pain pill!  I feel much better now, and hopefully tomorrow won't be so bad.
Other news-- This past week I had Wed., Thurs. and Friday off of work.  Wed. I stayed home and did some MUCH needed cleaning.  Thurs. I ran some errands, saw the surgeon, and packed for the weekend.  Friday morning Rich and I left for Kansas City, MO.  We went to visit Shonna.  I haven't seen her since early Aug. and that's way too long! 
Friday night we had a late dinner with her, then we spent all of Saturday together.  We visited a couple of Jesse James historical sites.  We love that stuff!  Shonna has loved museums and history stuff since she was about 3 or 4.  After supper on Sat. she came to our hotel and we sat in the hot tub and then hung out in our room for a bit--a lovely evening!  Sunday we took her and one of her roomies to brunch, then Rich and I headed home.  We could have spent more time there, but Shonna has very little time during the week to visit. Rich and I both had to get back to work today (Monday).
Rachel and Alyssa were also gone this weekend.  Rachel and her 2 boys went to Alabama with another mom and her 3 kids to visit some other families that adopted from the same orphanage.  Sort of a little reunion!  But what a long drive!  All survived though, and they had a good time!
Alyssa flew to AZ to visit her best friend that recently moved there.  Alyssa HATES flying, but she did it by herself---tells you how much her friend means to her!  She flew once before by herself to see Jaren before he went to Iraq.  I think she's very brave!!  I got to see her today and got to here all about her trip.  Tomorrow Rachel is coming over with the boys and I'll hear all about their trip.  It'll be so nice to see them all!
Life has been busy, and good (mostly!).  I really wish I could take a break from cancer though.  I think it's really starting to sink in that this is my life now, and cancer will always be a part of it.  I sort of knew that before, but now I'm living that reality!  I can't complain too much though--I'm still here and there is no sign of any cancer in my body!  There are too many people I know that have had their cancer spread, or return.  They are always in my prayers!
Well, that's my update for now.  I'll try and update soon with some pictures of the boys--I know they are the real reason you are here!  ;D
Love and blessings!!
Tina