March 2013 Update

Hello there!
It's almost the end of March and we still have LOTS of snow!  Our temps are running about 10 degrees below normal, but at least the sun has been out the last few days, and the snow is slowly melting.  Easter is this coming Sunday already!  We will be having everyone over to our house for a buffet lunch.  My house will be FULL.  May have to come up with a different plan next year, as there just isn't enough room in my house for our growing families!
I have been spending a lot of my online time on some private Facebook groups for those affected by colon cancer.  If you know anyone with ANY type of colon/rectal/anal issue (including crohn's, IBS, colitis, cancer), tell them to search FB for COLONTOWN.  This is the main group, and from there you can join the different 'neighborhoods' that are more specific to your particular issue, including a group for caretakers.  It's all private, so talk about colons, rectums, and bodily functions are the norm there!  It's a blessing for me to FINALLY connect with others who understand what I'm going through.  We all help each other and share ideas on what works and what doesn't.  I've gotten some good advice there for my on-going issues, and things have improved for me.  I'm still hoping to improve things more, but at least my problems are better than they were.
Being in this community makes me aware, once again, of the many, many people with colorectal cancer.  There are those on there that are newly diagnosed, and they will finish chemo and have a good prognosis, like me.  Then there are those that are stage 4, and will be on chemo, off and on, for the rest of their lives. And, lately, there seems to be many (WAY TOO MANY) who are dying from this horrible disease.  Almost daily there are posts that someone passed away. Sometimes this gets into my head a bit, and I start to worry more about a recurrence.  I start to think in terms of when, not if.  Thankfully, God knows those troubling thoughts I am having, and He reminds me to put my focus on HIM.  I don't need to fear ANYTHING.  That is such a freeing thought!  Whether I am sick, healthy, rich, poor, dying--none of it matters.  God has given me eternal life, and He is with me every moment of every day.  Nothing is too big for Him.  What a relief to know He has my back! Whew!
Soon I'll get a break from Dr. appointments and tests (I hope!).  I had to have another minor surgery on my bum, and the worst part was the 9 pokes it took to get my IV started!  Over 2 weeks later I can still see the bruise on the back of my hand!  The surgery went well though, and I had very little pain after.  I had a DEXA bone density scan last week, and hope to get the results of that soon.  That is an easy scan--no IVs or anything!  Chemo can damage/weaken the bones, and so can menopause (which started early for me because of chemo/radiation), so we are just checking to see if my bones are still strong.  I have a post-op appt. this week, then a port flush appt. next week.  Then I really should make an eye dr. appt. and dentist appt.  Sheesh!  It's always something~I've already met my deductible for the year, and it's only March!
Well, that's my March update.  All the kids and grandkids are doing well!  My oldest and her husband will soon be licensed to do foster care, so we are all excited about that.  I hope I have enough energy to help her out! Thankfully summer is only a few months away and I'll be off work for a bit. :)
God bless each one of you!
Tina

Update on Scans and Labs

Hello!
Just wanted to do a quick update about my CT scans and lab tests I had done last Monday.  By Monday evening I already had the results!  Everything looks good!  My hemoglobin is up a little (finally--I've been taking iron pills!).  My platelets are at the low end of the range, and have been since surgery.  Before that they were much higher.  I'm going to ask my oncologist about that when I see him on Tues. I have a list of things in my head that I want to ask him--I really need to write these questions down!
I will have another little surgery on my backside on March 8th.  Not going to do any major surgery on the fistula yet.  My surgeon can't guarantee the outcome, so we will hold off as long as possible.  There is a chance it might close up on it's own, eventually.
I had to miss another day of work due to my 'digestive system'.  The barium stuff I have to drink for the CT scan really messes me up, and I spent most of the evening and into the night in the bathroom.  I wasn't able to go to work the next day either.  I think that's 5 days I've missed this school year related to my cancer treatment/side effects.  Then I missed 4 days due to illness recently too--first a stomach bug, then a cold/chest/cough thing.  I don't usually get those type of viruses, so it was weird to get them one right after another.  I've already used up the 10 days I get per school year!  I'm praying I don't miss any more this year!
It's a relief to have my scans done and over with. I was getting a little nervous this time. I couldn't shake the feeling that 'this might be it'.  On the way to the hospital to get my tests done, as I was driving, I was praying and praying. And I was asking forgiveness for the fear, because I knew I shouldn't be afraid--I should be trusting in God.  Finally, I realized where the fear was coming from and I said out loud  "Satan, you can't touch this! I am a child of the Most High King, and covered by the blood of the Lamb!  I have no cancer in me, and I will trust in God and not be afraid!".  I felt soooo much better after declaring that for the devil to hear.  He fled and I was filled with peace! I was able to be joyful the rest of the day, which I think was nice for those around me in the hospital.  That can be a very stressful place, and I made sure I smiled at everyone!
Oh-- I have to mention my infusion nurses again.  One of my regular nurses is working at a different place (I will miss her and hearing about her lovely children and family!), and the other 'regular' one wasn't there either.  The nurse I had, Carol (Carole?), is one I know though, from being there over the last 4 years, and she had a person with her that was in training.  At the end, when I was ready to go, Carol started asking me about my grandkids, and how I was doing after treatment.  I was only going to tell her a little, to not take up too much of her time, but she kept asking, so I kept talking!  That was so special to me, that she took the time to REALLY ask how I was doing.   Usually when I don't have one of my 'regular' 2 nurses, I am in and out of there pretty quick.  Everyone is very nice and says hi, but I am only there for a port flush or labs.  It just made me feel really good, that she remembered things about my family, and really cared about how I was doing.  Chemo nurses are truly angels!
Well, I see my oncologist Tuesday, and have my mammogram Thurs., then the following week I have a pre-op, and my minor surgery.  Then I think I'll be done for awhile!  *Whew*!
More updates later this week.  Hope everyone feels blessed this week, and feels the love of Jesus surrounding them! Amen!
Tina

Four Years!

February 6th was the 4 year anniversary of my tumor being found during a colonoscopy.  I was having some symptoms that my primary Dr.(pcp) and gastro Dr. both thought were irritable bowel or colitis.  Thankfully, before my pcp looked further into my symptoms, she wanted me to have a colonoscopy, and then we'd know more what we were dealing with.  We were ALL surprised when the tumor was found. The gastro doc doing the procedure saw it right away (I was given some good drugs, but was fully awake) and said "See that? That shouldn't be there".  After the exam the doc came in and told us he was sure it was cancer, although we needed to wait for the pathology report for the 'official' word. I am so grateful Rich was with me!  We just held each other when the Dr. left.  Then he came back, and told me he had set up a CT scan for me that afternoon.  Things moved really fast!  I remember the nurse giving me a hug when she walked us out and telling me I was going to be ok.  That was so sweet, and yet scared me because I didn't really realize the gravity of the situation yet.  Thanks to my 'happy drugs', I wasn't too upset yet--I told Rich in the truck after to stop looking so gloomy!  Poor guy, he just found out his wife had cancer!  I'm sure he was overwhelmed! (I don't think I'll ever know how hard all of this was on him, as he did a good job of keeping it from me.  He was an EXCELLENT caregiver, and I'll always be grateful for that!)
Like I said, things moved quickly.  My CT scan didn't show any other areas of cancer (except a possible lymph node).  My gastro doc also contacted a surgeon, and an appt. to see him was scheduled, then my pre-op, then the surgery on Feb. 20th, just 2 weeks later.  During surgery, 18" of my colon was removed and I was able to be reconnected.  I came close to needing a colostomy, but am thankful I didn't!  It was a tough surgery, and I was in the hospital 8 days.  2 of 20 lymph nodes had cancer, and I was stage 3b.
My wonderful oncologist told me this type of cancer could be CURED.  Because of my young age (44),  I was given everything they could possibly throw at me!  None of my chemos were reduced, even with bad side effects.  Once he even let me get chemo when my counts were really low--the nurse had to go ask him if the orders were correct!  But he knew my counts always bounced back quickly when I had a neupogen shot, so he wasn't worried! I think it made a difference that my onc knew me well enough to know that I really wanted to complete all the treatments.  If I had said it was too hard and I wanted to back off a bit he probably would have, as I think he would have respected my wishes.  Same thing with radiation.  That was even more difficult, and I was told I didn't need to finish, but it was important to me to finish those last 3, and I did!  Although, I have to say, I never realized all the side effects I would have to live with!
Sometimes I have a hard time remembering how awful it all was, and other times I remember too well! I get frustrated dealing with painful side effects, but mostly, I am just so glad to be living life, cancer free.  I am enjoying my children and grandchildren.  My girls are such a blessing to me!  They really stepped up and did everything they could to help me get through those tough days of cancer treatment. I'm sure it was hard to watch their mom get cancer TWICE.  They are amazing young women!
Enough reminiscing...my 6 month CT scans are coming up next Monday, Feb. 18th.  I'll also get my labs done that day too.  Then the following week I see my oncologist and have a mammogram.  This coming Thurs. (the 14th) I'll see my colorectal surgeon about the fistula, and I'm thinking I'll have to have surgery on that soon. That is a side effect from surgery and radiation.  :(   
1 more year and I'll hit that 5 year mark!  I'm going to ask Dr. J about being 'cured'; if that still fits my case or not.  I don't remember if the breast cancer will ever be considered cured--maybe because I was  only stage 2b, I can be cured of that too.  I'm not sure--I hope I remember to ask! April 1st will be 3 years from the breast cancer diagnosis.
Life goes on, and God is good! :)
Love,
Tina

Another Update

Well, don't know if anyone is out there reading this any more, but thought it was time for an update.  I've written blog posts in my head many times, but for some reason I just haven't taken the time to actually write it here!
As always, I'll start with a health update.  I saw both my colorectal surgeon (Dr.T) and my oncologist (Dr. J) a few weeks ago. The fistula has been bleeding more, and apparently something came loose, and Dr.T fixed it.  I found out she does colonoscopies (I had been going to a gastro doc for my previous scopes) and told her I'd like to see her for my next one, which is due in March.  Because there has been some bleeding, Dr. T. said insurance wouldn't have a problem with doing it sooner, and she figured my deductible has probably been met for the year, so we may as well get it done. She assured me, a couple of times, that she doesn't think the bleeding means there is anything wrong, and I agree.  Because of the radiation damage and fistula, there will always be some bleeding.  So, I am scheduled to have my colonoscopy next Monday, Dec. 3rd (yikes!).  
My 3 month check up with Dr. J went well. My blood tests are all ok, although my hemoglobin and red blood cell count both dropped a little.  Dr. J wasn't too concerned, and I told him I started taking a daily iron pill.  He checked my reflexes this time, and my wrists and knees were fine, but my ankles still don't respond.  This is from the neuropathy in my feet. I've been noticing that my balance seems slightly worse.  Just small things, nothing major.  This is probably from the neuropathy also.  I told him next time I see him (in 3 months) I'll be 4 years out from my diagnosis  of colon cancer (and 3 years from breast cancer).  He said that if the cancer does return, it wouldn't be as aggressive as a cancer that came back sooner.  He still wants to do scans every 6 months, so if anything does turn up we would be able to fight it aggressively, because I am still young and healthy (I love hearing that I am young!).   Dr. J also asked if I have been exercising, which the answer is an obvious no.  I think that was his gentle way of telling me he noticed I've been gaining weight.  This weight thing is so frustrating!  My metabolism is almost non-existent!  Oh well...I'll just have to try harder! 
Up until about 2 weeks ago I had been in a lot of pain (backside issues).  Sometimes it gets me a bit down.  You'd think after nearly 4 years I would have figured out what causes the 'bad' days. All I know is I have more bad days than good.  Although, whenever I have a stretch of good (like now), I hope that this will become the norm, and not the bad days!
I find there are still a lot of things that bring me back to my chemo days.  Thankfully, the nausea doesn't come back though.  For instance, today I heated up a bowl of leftover mashed potatoes, and it reminded me of how I ate them a lot during chemo.  I could almost feel that fog I was in for so many days each round of chemo.  There are reminders almost daily.
I always try to make sure people know (both those that are recently dx'd with cancer, and those that don't have it) that when the treatment stops, things don't go back to "normal".  This is where the term "new normal" really fits.  Because side effects, pain, psychological effects, are all a part of my life now.  I don't mean that to sound so bad, because I truly am grateful to be here and be cancer free.  But I think people need to know, so they can understand what they might go through, or what someone else might be dealing with.
God has answered so many prayers recently for my family and me.  I'm going to press in and pray for healing for my pain issues.  I've been praying for help with my fatigue, and I am feeling a bit better.  I just get busy and unfortunately don't have much energy left to spend time in God's Word as much as I should.  I really need to do that more...there is nothing like the feeling I get when I spend time with God!
Family update:  it's been so long since I blogged, I forgot I never wrote about my new granddaughter!  Alyssa and Jaren had their baby on 10/15, 3 weeks early, but she was considered full term.  They named her Selah ("say-la") Marie.  Selah is a musical term in Psalms that means to pause, or pause and reflect.  She is a beautiful little girl, and the new family is doing great.  They have plenty of babysitters to help them out!  Here is a picture of Selah, and one of my grandsons:

Aren't they cute?  Charlie is doing so well!  He is standing by himself in this picture!  He can walk with a walker.  It's hard to believe he is the same tiny 3 and a half year old that came to us from Ukraine. What a gift he is! Brennan is as smart as ever, and at the age of 3 he is reading a few words!  Love my babies!
Shonna is doing great at college--she just registered for spring sem.  I LOVE having her back in MN!  
Thanks for reading!  Let me know if there is anything I can do for any of you readers--be sure to contact me if you have questions about cancer (chemo, radiation, breast, colon, etc., etc.)  OR if you want info about adopting a beautiful child from an orphanage.  Or maybe you want to know how you can help a child other ways besides adopting.  Please ask!  You can e-mail me at nuttyoaks@gmaildotcom.  You can also send me prayer requests, and I'll be happy to pray for you or send you some helpful Bible verses. :)
God bless!
Tina

It's September Already!

As usual, I'll start with the health stuff, because I figure that's what most people are here to read about!  All my scans were clear, and bloodwork was good! My onc. asked me if I planned to do reconstruction, and we talked about the pros and cons of that a little.  He said they have some very good and newer procedures now, but also said there is no reason to do recon.  He said I should do whatever Rich and I think is best.  He said it is unlikely that I would get cancer in my remaining breast--if I did it would be a new primary, and not a recurrence. I'm seriously considering another surgery to go completely flat and just be done with it all! I feel like I'm always uneven and it's getting annoying. Plus, I wouldn't have to have the MRIs and Mammograms any more! I keep saying this, but I really should just see a plastic surgeon, so I would at least know my options.  My biggest fear with recon is that my radiated skin won't heal properly.  So many women never achieve good results after rads.  I don't want several more surgeries and revisions.  But I could handle one more, if it would make life easier.  We'll see.  
We also talked about my neuropathy--not much new there.   I still have it, and my onc. thinks I probably always will.  I have Lhermitte's sign again, which is a tingling down my back and left leg everytime I bend my head forward.  I had that after chemo, but went away, and now it's back.  It can be a sign of MS, but it's also common after chemo.  Doc said it's nothing to be concerned about and brushed it off.  I, of course, did some research, and I agree with doc.  It's just more nerve damage from chemo.  It's been less than 2 years since I finished chemo, and I still get new and different signs of the nerve damage.  Last Fall, after going back to work and being on my feet a lot, I started getting a burning feeling on the bottom of my feet--it felt like I stepped on hot pavement.  That doesn't happen as often, but now I am getting more cramping in my feet--esp. my right foot.  When I am sitting here on the couch with my feet up, sometimes my toes and the top of my foot will just cramp up and my toes will be stuck in a certain position, until I stretch it out. 
Anyways--there wasn't much else to discuss with my onc.  He does want blood tests again in 3 months, and ct scans again in 6. I'll also have my colonoscopy then, and mammo.  I almost told him I would rather wait a year to get scanned, because I'm so sure they'll be clear again, but there is always that little fear, and I kept my mouth shut and am going to go along with his expert recommendation.
As for the fistula, it involves only a little muscle, so I could have it cut open, with the hopes that it would heal completely and be gone, but there is always the issue of my radiated skin.  I told the surgeon that I am worried it wouldn't heal.  She agreed that could happen.  We decided to leave it as it is, with the Seton in (the rubber band like thing that lays through the fistula), and keep checking on it every 3 months.  She said it can be left in for a couple of years.  It doesn't bother me too much, so that's what I'm going to do.  She also said it won't affect any of my options, and I can change my mind at any time.
Ok, enough of that.  In other news...I go back to work Tuesday, which is when the new school year starts.  I am sort of looking forward to it, but I am worried about how tired I will be.  I only work 10-1:15, but that is a busy 3.25 hours and I am on my feet a lot.  Nearly 2 hours of it is lunch and recess.  It wears me out.  I don't like coming home so exhausted I can't do anything else the rest of the day!  I've been tired a lot lately, even without working.  It's frustrating.  I've even been exercising more, because I assumed not exercising was part of my problem.  It hasn't helped, and I am often even more tired after exercising.  I have been eating better (although not this weekend!!), and that hasn't helped either.  I might go see my family doc, but really, there is not much that can be done for "fatigue". One thing I would like to try though, is taking Synthroid (brand name) instead of generic meds for my thyroid.  I've read several times that the generic is not always as good as the name brand in this case. Another dr. appointment to make....
How did that turn into talking about my health again?  In OTHER news....Alyssa is 31 weeks pregnant now, and getting big.  She is more beautiful than ever!  Her baby shower is coming in 2 weeks!  She is working 2 jobs, and has been feeling too stressed (a lot of other stuff going on too), so she will soon be quitting 1 job.  She needs to take it easy and have time to relax, enjoy her new house and spend quality time with her husband.
My grandson Charlie is starting preschool in a new school district this week.  He just turned 5, but will do another year of preschool before starting kindergarten.  But, wow, he is learning fast now!  He knows lots of signs (sign language), and is starting to be more and more verbal.  Brennan has slimmed down and turned into a little boy over night.  No more toddler!  He will be 3 the end of this month.  He says things like "That's pretty cool" and "Are you kidding me?!" and many, many other cute things.  You can tell he listens to every word his momma says! ;)  The boys will be over tomorrow morning, to give Rachel some time to get things done, while Ken is keeping his bees company and harvesting more honey.  
Shonna starts college at our big city college on Tues.  She learned how to ride the city bus a few days ago, and checked out the campus, then flew to Louisville to photograph a friend's wedding.  We picked her up this afternoon.  It's going to be a crazy busy week for her!
September is not my favorite month, because of the busy-ness.  It just rushes by in a blur.  I suppose by the end of it, we are pretty settled into our routines, and then I can finally enjoy it.  I LOVE the cool fall air.  We got a taste of that earlier in Aug, but now it is back to warm and muggy (although not nearly as hot and muggy as July!).  Sept. 8th is a very special day though, as that is our anniversary (28 years!!).  Unfortunately we are often too busy to celebrate much on that day, but usually find time later in the month.  I am still considering another trip to Duluth this fall, this time just the 2 of us.  We have gone there many, many times to celebrate our anniversary!
Here are a few pictures from our family vacation in Duluth this summer:

(Just want to mention that I had just gotten a TOO short haircut, and was not happy with it--don't plan on having it that short again!)
Have a blessed week everyone!
Tina

Scans and Such

Well, I've had just about every part of my body scanned recently!  I hope that's done for a while!
Last Friday I had to repeat the ultrasound I had back in June to look at my fistula.  When I went to see my surgeon about it on Tues., she didn't have the results!  She finally talked to a dr. (the "head honcho", as she called him) who read the scan to her over the phone.  He only had 4 pictures and they weren't very good.  He wanted to repeat the ultrasound, and do it himself.  After talking with my surgeon he knew my background and exactly what she was looking for.  I was very polite, and agreed, but I was SO BUMMED!  I cried a little when I got out to the car, was mad at God, and used all 8 cylinders in the truck on my way home (nobody got in my way that day!).  The ultrasound is a difficult test for me, causes pain and discomfort, and I really just hate it.  I can't fully explain why, because that is just TMI.  But I hope I never have to have that again!  When I called my surgeon's clinic to schedule another appt. with her after having the repeat scan done, they wanted to schedule me 4-6 weeks out.  Umm, no.  They were able to get me in this Thurs., less than a week after the scan. ;)  
Monday I had my MRI, to check for breast cancer, and today (Tues.) I had my ct scans and lab work.  Most of my labs are done already, and I can check them online.  So far, they all look good! My oncology nurse had a difficult time get blood from my port, so I had to let some "cath-flo" (draino like stuff) sit in there for about half an hour, then it worked fine.  Sometimes little flaps develop in the port line and they let stuff in (like saline) but the flap closes when drawing blood out.  The cath-flo eats that away and clears the line. It sure was nice having the port the past few days though.  It was used for my MRI, labs, and CT scan. No big ugly bruises on my arm, and relatively little pain!  
The bad part about the CT scan is that the yucky, horrible contrast I have to drink really messes up my stomach for the rest of the day.  Lots of gurgling and discomfort.  Oh well, by tomorrow I should be fine.
Now I wait for results. Thurs. I'll find out what we can do about the fistula, and next Tues. I'll see my onc and get the results of my scans.  They'll be all clear, I'm sure!
Even with all the strife and discomfort of the last week or so, I've been very happy.  I've been getting out for walks, now that the weather is cooler, and loving the exercise and the beautiful world God created for us.  I've felt very connected to my Lord lately, growing in my trust and faith.  I rarely worry about a recurrence, although I have been saddened that others I know have progressed to stage 4.  I do wonder sometimes if it will happen to me, but most of the time (75%?) I feel as though I've been healed and will never have cancer again (which would be a miracle, given my "young" age for both cancers).  No matter what happens though, I will continue to trust in God!
The rest of the fam is doing well--mom and Shonna are headed up north with my sister, and Alyssa and her husband.  Rich and I will have the house to ourselves woo-hoo!  :)  We had a great time recently in Duluth with our kids and grandkids.  I love having everyone together like that!
Life is good people--get out and enjoy it while you can!!
Love and blessings!
Tina

A Loooong Overdue Update!

Well, I've been putting off updating, because so much has happened since March (I can't believe it's been that long!) that this could be a REALLY long post.  I'll do my best to shorten all the news, and hopefully update more often!
Let's start with my health~thankfully not much has changed!  I still have the Seton thingy in my fistula, and it's feeling a bit better (although sore now from sitting so long!).  I recently had an ultrasound of the area, but I can't get in to see my surgeon again until Aug 7th to find out the results and what we do next.  Remember, this was caused by the radiation I had for colon cancer, and the radiated skin makes this a bit more tricky. For now, we wait and see what the surgeon says.  She is really good, and I trust her judgement.
In May I had my 3 month check up with my oncologist and had my labs done.  Everything looks good--some things, like hemoglobin and platelets, have improved. I continue to have problems with neuropathy, esp. in my feet, I continue to be tired a lot, and I still have a lot of bowel issues from my Low Anterior Resection.  But I'm happy to be here, and be alive!  My surgery was over 3 years ago--can you believe it?!
In Aug. I'll have labs, CT scans, MRI, and see my onc. again.  I had an MRI and Mammogram in Feb., but he wants to start staggering them and doing one of them every 6 months.  So, I'll have the MRI in Aug., and the mammo  next Feb.  My oncologist is keeping a close eye on me, so if there ever is a recurrence, of either cancer, we'll catch it early!
Ok, on to other news!  In my last post I wrote about Rich going to a job interview that sounded promising--well he got that job!  The pay is BETTER, the people are nice, and the job is interesting, rewarding, and less stressful! The drive is about 24 miles one way (nearly double what he drove before), but it's not so bad.  He leaves early to beat the worst of the rush, and he is trying different routes.  What we thought might be a major trial, was God just answering my many prayers to get Rich a better job!   We have an AMAZING God (and He is amazing whether or not we go through difficult times!). Rich was miserable at the other place the last few years. Life is too short to live like that!
I have not found another job, and am thinking my little part time job at the school is really a blessing.  Although it doesn't bring in much money (enough for a car payment or 2), I get to spend more time with my girls and grandkids.  And those 3.25 hours a day I do work wear me out, so longer hours would be worse!  I still keep my eyes open for a quieter paperwork kind of job though.  That wouldn't wear me out as much as working with kids does.  But then I wouldn't have summers off, would I?
Now for the REALLY GOOD news! Alyssa is pregnant!!  And she is having a GIRL!  I am sooooo excited!  I was really hoping for a girl, because we've got the 2 boys.  Alyssa was hoping for a girl too, because she LOVES pink!  She warned Jaren that there might be 'pink overload'.  He is so good to her.  It makes him happy just to see her so happy about the baby.  Funny thing is, this wasn't planned, and they had actually just talked about putting off having kids for a long time.  God had other plans for them!  They will be great parents, and they will have lots of help!  Baby girl is due Nov. 5th.
Brennan and Charlie are growing like little weeds!  Charlie is walking with a walker, and can walk holding on to furniture.  He is so awesome.  He is happy, giggly, and loves to hug and be held! He'll soon be 5!  Brennan will be 3 the end of Sept.  He is so funny and has a great sense of humor.  Talks and sings all the time.
Alyssa and Jaren bought a house only 4 miles away.  They moved in mid-May.  Rachel and Ken sold their house in just a few days, and bought a house a little farther away.  They are about 25 min. away, instead of 5, but are a little closer to Ken's work.  Rachel is always planning and thinking about the next child they will adopt, but for now, there is work to be done on their new house, and 2 adorable little boys to give lots of attention to!
Shonna did move back home and we are so happy to have her back in MN!  She will be going to the the U of M!  Not the school I ever expected, but it is a lot less expensive than the Christian schools (even with some good scholarships she got!).  She adopted 2 cute bunnies, and they are taking up most of my family room!  But I love rodents, and these 2 are cute and have a lot of personality!  Shonna will eventually be going to live down the street with my sister.
Ok, how did I do?  Not too long I hope! I plan to do a post soon on some of the emotions and issues we cancer survivors can have.  I've experienced a lot of highs and lows lately.  But that's for another day....
May God greatly bless each reader that stops by here...love to all!
Tina

Mid-March Update

Hope everyone is doing well!
I'll start with the procedure I had for my fistula.  It was called a Seton Placement.  Not a drain, like I thought, but something similar to an open rubber band laid through the fistula to keep both ends open.  The surgeon was pleased that she was able to find both ends and do the placement.  In a few months I'll have to have some more procedures done, but I don't remember much of what she said after my surgery. I see her for a post-op check up on Thurs., so I'll find out everything then.
In other health news, my mammo and MRI came back clear.  So I'm done with tests for awhile!  I saw my onc., for my 3 month check up, and everything looks good there too.  My wbc were a little low, but he said that could be because I was a little sick, or could just be from all the chemo I had.  I also complained of being tired, and he seemed to think that was to be expected also.  He still wants more labs and a visit with him in 3 months, and ct scans again in 6 months.  He said there are protocols that suggest I could go longer between scans, but because I've had the 2 different cancers, (and the fact that I was young for both), he wants to keep a closer eye on me.  That's fine with me! Speaking of being tired...I've been on Spring Break this past week, and have still been really tired--but I think it might be from allergies, because they are really bothering me with this warm weather we are having. The maples are starting to bud, and that's always when I start having trouble!  I still enjoyed the time off though! We've gone for lots of walks, and gotten a few things done (but, a lot less than I planned on because I've been so tired!)
On to other news!  Rich has been keeping busy house-cleaning!  He has vacuumed EVERYTHING. He even found some lost socks behind the dryer in the laundry room!  :)  He has applied for several jobs and has an interview for one that sounds promising on Monday.  The bad part is it's about double the distance of his last job, so he'll have to spend more time driving.  Maybe we'll have to get the Bible on cd and with all that time in the car he'll be a theologian in no time!  :)  I'm secretly hoping they hire him, but give him a few more weeks before he starts----there is a lot more stuff around here he could do!!
I'm sort of looking for another job/2nd job too.  If Rich doesn't get another job soon, I will definitely need to work more.  And if he gets a job, but it doesn't pay as well, then I'll still have to work more. And, really, I just need to work more!  I did apply for a different position at the school, but didn't get it. (I needed more computer experience)  So, not sure what to do, but I've been looking and keeping my eyes open.  Anybody want to hire me for anything??  :)
My girls have been keeping me busy as usual.  Rachel and Ken are getting ready to put their house up for sale--they need more room.  I still watch their boys at least twice a week.  Brennan is growing so fast and learning so many things!  Charlie too!  Charlie can stand with help (and even for a few moments on his own!).  His heart is doing well, and he is healthy.  
Alyssa and Jaren are busy house-hunting.  Rich and I went with them on Wed.  They found one they really like--hope they can get it for a good price.  It's only a few miles away.  Now if we can just convince Rachel and Ken to stay in the area it would be so perfect!  
Shonna is thinking about coming back to MN to go to college next year.  She applied to a Christian college in CA, and got their best academic scholarship for her GPA and ACT score.  She is a smart girl!  But now she is thinking of going back to the college she went to for her senior year in high school.  It's a good, quality, Christian school. There are a lot of different ministries she can get involved in here, and maybe get on a worship team somewhere.  She has enjoyed her 2 years at IHOPU, but feels it's time to work on getting her degree.   I will be SOOO happy if she comes back to MN.  Even better--she plans on living with my sister!  Shonna would be close by, but not under my roof--perfect! ;)  
Some days, I just feel like the most blessed woman on earth.  My husband is so good to me, my girls are close by, and so are my 2 grandsons.  I sometimes feel like I don't deserve this.  But that's the way God is.  Even when we didn't deserve it, He sent His son to die for us.  For you, for me.  And, the thing that I love best--His love is UNFAILING.  There is no one on earth that you can say that about.  Only God.
That's all for today!  
Blessings to all!
Tina

Still Cancer Free!

Just had my CT scans and blood tests yesterday, and I already have the results--everything looks good! Thank you God!  I'll see the onc next Wed., and  the only thing I have a question about is why my white blood cells have dropped a bit below range.  I think it's my body still recovering from all the chemo and radiation I had.  He'll also let me know if I still have to have the scans every 6 months, or if I can go longer between scans.  I am on the fence about this.  I like knowing there is no cancer in my body, but the ct scans themselves pose a risk because of the radiation.  I'll trust my oncologist's decision--he a great doc!
I have more tests at the end of the month--a mammogram and MRI, then I'll be free of tests for a while!  Yay!  
Stayed home from work today with a stuffed up head. Didn't sleep much last night and had stomach problems from that barium contrast stuff I had to drink yesterday for the scans.  Man that stuff messes up my stomach! My frequent trips to the bathroom caused other issues, which eventually required a percocet for pain!  It's been 2.5 years since I finished radiation for the colon cancer--I hope someday my skin will heal and I won't have these painful "issues" anymore!   
Speaking of which, tomorrow is my little procedure to try to drain the fistula on my backside--another side effect of radiation.  I have many people praying for me because with my sinus problems they might not let me go under anesthesia.  I really want to get this done, but if doesn't happen, I'm going to trust that it's God's will, and He knows what's best for me!
So it's a mixed bag of news tonight.  The reason I'm fitting all this medical stuff into one month is because our health insurance coverage will end at the end of Feb.  Rich lost his job a few weeks ago.  :(  After 27 years they let him go.  I can't even begin to explain the feelings we have had over this.  Some of the folks he worked with are devastated by this.  He was a great boss.  I have been praying that he would get another job, because he has been miserable  for over a year.  They made things difficult for him; I think they were trying to get him to fail--well HE DIDN'T!  They had to come up with some lame excuse.   A bunch of people that he worked with (recently and in the past) got together for a little party for him.  It was real nice--lots of people he hasn't seen in a long time--really lifted his spirits! We are trusting in God, knowing that this is an answer to prayer.  As stressful as this is, it's so nice to have Rich around and be able to do more things together.  Before he was always either working, or exhausted.  That's no way to live.  I know God has more for us than that!
That's all for now--getting sleepy and need to get to bed soon!
Blessings to all!
Tina

February is looking Busy!

Seems I'm doing about 1 blog a month now.  I guess that's good--means nothing too bad is happening health-wise!  :)  Life is busy though, and that's good too.
Work is going well.  Every time I complain about it I remember 1. it's only 3 hours, and 2. I get lots of days off! The 3 hours part can be deceiving though. It's a very busy 3 hours, and 1 hour of it is outside.  It gets hard on my neuropathy, not to mention my poor aging skin!  I have other problems that are aggravated by so much walking around too.
There is another job, though, that I've been thinking about, and may see if I can do it temporarily over the summer.  It involves lots of paper work, and sounds like heaven!  My sister was describing it to me and everything she said just made it sound better and better.  Most people wouldn't like to be searching through stacks of papers and working on the computer, but to me, that is the PERFECT job.  The pay is less, but I would be working year round and therefore would be making more money annually than I do now.  Just something I'm thinking about at this point.
Another job I would like to do would be helping out the elderly--especially with their computers.  Many want to get e-mail and be on Facebook to see what everyone is doing, and look at pictures, but don't know how.  Think anyone would hire me to come over once or twice a week and help them get online? It's just one of those thoughts that tumble around in my head!
Excuse me if I ramble on a bit today.  I had to take a pain pill, and that makes me a little loopy!  I will fill you in a bit on some issues I have been having, but don't want to get in to too much detail because of the "delicate" nature of these issues. (If you have read my blog from the beginning, you know that I used to just tell it like it is, since it's hard not to when talking about colon and breast cancer. But it's been awhile since I've had to talk much about these things).  Last Thursday I saw the colon-rectal surgeon again that I saw back in Oct. or Nov.  I definitely have a fistula this time.  My backside has been very painful; some days worse than others (like today).  There are also tender skin issues from radiation and today is a day when both things are painful at the same time! A fistula is a tunnel that develops under the skin, between two organs, or from the inside to the skin surface.  Normally the surgeon would cut the top off of it and then it would fill in and close up with scar tissue. I can't have surgery back there because my radiated skin might not heal.  Also my surgeon told me the procedure could leave me incontinent (because of radiation or my colon resection, or maybe both)--no thanks!!  In Feb. I will be having a procedure where my surgeon can "explore" the area and hopefully put in a tiny tube to help it drain (not sure if this will help it close up?).  This will be done under anesthesia.  Sounds fun doesn't it? Another side effect of that wonderful radiation. (A side note--someone asked me how to word a blurb about the radiation her daughter would be having--I told her the right way to word it, then told her there are many other words I could put with the word radiation--and none of them very nice!! It's the only time I swear, or think of swearing, these days!)
Also coming up in Feb. will be my labs, ct scans (for colon cancer), and 3 month visit with my oncologist; also a visit with my primary for a pre-op check up.  I plan on talking to her about my neuropathy at that time, to see if there is anything more I should be doing to keep it from getting worse. So, it will be a busy month!  Feb. 6th will be 3 years since my tumor was found during a colonoscopy, and on the 20th it will be 3 years since 18" of my colon was removed.
March is my "breast cancer" month. I'll have a mammogram and MRI.  
It's crazy what I've been through in the last 3 years!  Sometimes it seems so far away, and other times it seems like it was just yesterday I was lying in bed in a chemo fog, unable to even shower!  I am so grateful to still be here, 3 years later. Even with all the side effects, life is still wonderful.  The blog community has lost several lovely people to cancer the last few months (from young children, to mom's with young children, to the elderly), and others have had their cancer get worse.  I know how blessed each day is that I am cancer-free.  My prayer list grows long...
Well, I think that's enough for today.  Maybe in a few days I'll post more about non-cancer related parts of my life (like my awesome little grandsons!). Stay tuned!
Love and blessings!
Tina

There's a Name For It!

Since this blog is still primarily about my health and cancer issues, I'm going to share some personal things with you. I won't get into too much detail though...
I saw my doctor about a week and a half ago, after having a lot of pain and missing a day of work so I could rest and take some Percocet.  She and I both thought I had a fistula (not going to describe that here, other than to say it's a major pain in the bum!).  I was supposed to see my surgeon, but he referred me to a colon-rectal surgeon. I was able to get in this past Thurs., due to a cancellation.  I'm so glad I was able to get in to see an expert in my issues! Good news was, there is no fistula. There are some other minor problems that could be fixed with surgery, but since I had radiation there is a risk that the area wouldn't heal.  Surgery of a radiated area is always risky due to the damage done to the skin. So no surgery!  I'm so glad!
I started telling her (the surgeon) of some of my problems and pain, and she said my surgeon must've mentioned these things to me, and I said, no, he didn't! She told me my problems are very common for my type of colon resection (low anterior resection), so common in fact, that there is a syndrome named for them--Low Anterior Resection Syndrome!  We talked about how my colon now functions, and she gave me some tips and ideas on how to improve things.  It's mostly trial and error, as each person is different.  I can't tell you how nice it was to talk to someone openly and have them understand exactly what I was saying!  I hope some of the things we talked about will work.  Problem is that it takes time to figure out what works and what doesn't.
I had a pretty good week and a half or so, but the pain came back full force today.  I couldn't wait to get home from work today and take a pain pill!  I feel much better now, and hopefully tomorrow won't be so bad.
Other news-- This past week I had Wed., Thurs. and Friday off of work.  Wed. I stayed home and did some MUCH needed cleaning.  Thurs. I ran some errands, saw the surgeon, and packed for the weekend.  Friday morning Rich and I left for Kansas City, MO.  We went to visit Shonna.  I haven't seen her since early Aug. and that's way too long! 
Friday night we had a late dinner with her, then we spent all of Saturday together.  We visited a couple of Jesse James historical sites.  We love that stuff!  Shonna has loved museums and history stuff since she was about 3 or 4.  After supper on Sat. she came to our hotel and we sat in the hot tub and then hung out in our room for a bit--a lovely evening!  Sunday we took her and one of her roomies to brunch, then Rich and I headed home.  We could have spent more time there, but Shonna has very little time during the week to visit. Rich and I both had to get back to work today (Monday).
Rachel and Alyssa were also gone this weekend.  Rachel and her 2 boys went to Alabama with another mom and her 3 kids to visit some other families that adopted from the same orphanage.  Sort of a little reunion!  But what a long drive!  All survived though, and they had a good time!
Alyssa flew to AZ to visit her best friend that recently moved there.  Alyssa HATES flying, but she did it by herself---tells you how much her friend means to her!  She flew once before by herself to see Jaren before he went to Iraq.  I think she's very brave!!  I got to see her today and got to here all about her trip.  Tomorrow Rachel is coming over with the boys and I'll hear all about their trip.  It'll be so nice to see them all!
Life has been busy, and good (mostly!).  I really wish I could take a break from cancer though.  I think it's really starting to sink in that this is my life now, and cancer will always be a part of it.  I sort of knew that before, but now I'm living that reality!  I can't complain too much though--I'm still here and there is no sign of any cancer in my body!  There are too many people I know that have had their cancer spread, or return.  They are always in my prayers!
Well, that's my update for now.  I'll try and update soon with some pictures of the boys--I know they are the real reason you are here!  ;D
Love and blessings!!
Tina